Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
She has such a distrust of doctors that I am afraid something could be wrong and she wouldn't let me know. I would just feel better if she at least had a checkup.
I'm so surprised at these answers! She is 85 she should at least have a check-up for God sake! I went through this with my mother. She did not want to go to the doctor because she knew that she was having issues especially with her memory. She didn't want people to know. She didn't want to accept it herself . I scheduled an appointment and threatened to contact Adult Protective Services as well as her doctor and tell them that she was refusing to be seen. I told her the court could easily take over her own personal power over herself if she continued to not take care of herself. In reality that probably isn't true but I had to use those threats of her loss of Independence in order to get her to a doctor. This was in her early stages of dementia and I had to treat her practically like a child. It was a very strange time in my life to have to stand up to my own mother and speak to her as if she was my child. She was clearly not well and was having a lot of delusions. She was eating rotten food and having stomach problems. Her behavior towards her husband was atrocious. She was terribly mean to him . She was clearly a different person than I had known even five years before that. Something was wrong and it needed to be diagnosed. Use whatever therapeutic lie you have to to get her to a doctor and give her a full physical examination and recommend testing for dementia. The sooner you get a grip on anything that might be ailing her the better off you will be. I had very stubborn parents but if I had not stood up to them they could have easily died due to underlying issues that they were keeping a secret. My stepfather ended up having a stroke sitting in his chair. Who knows how many hours he sat there before my mother, who was in early stages of dementia, even knew anything was wrong. My step dad was seeing a doctor who was not helping him . Sadly, by the time I got some specialist scheduled he died.
It is often VERY difficult to assume responsibility and TAKE CHARGE, even when there is clearly a change in cognitive functioning.
You are SO RIGHT about the concept of NEEDING CARE. My mother had what the neurologist identified as a fatal stroke when she was 85, and I KNEW IT when I talked to her on the phone the night it happened, and I WAS AFRAID TO TAKE CHARGE.
By the Grace of God, we muscled her to the hospital the next day, and she had 5 more relatively good independent years alone in her own home before a shattered hip sent her into a long surgery from which she couldn’t fully recover.
This was a woman who had NEVER had appropriate medical care because of her severe anxiety. She lived her whole life on Vick’s Vaporub, Milk of magnesia, Bayer aspirin, and Sloan’s Liniment.
I wanted her to have a crack at independence, but I also knew when I HAD to become the heavy, and then, I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO.
As to the question “What can I do......?”, the answer is —- THERE IS NO GOOD ANSWER. You CHOOSE how you decide to go, you take the steps to facilitate what you’ve planned, and you reassess how things are going with the attempt.
At a certain age, some caregiver’s attempts will go wrong, some will be wonderful. If you are operating with sincere love, respect, and knowledge of your LO, it’s at least a 50-50 shot that you’ll have done the right thing.
Does she have medical concerns that need attention? If she is of sound mind you can not make her, force her to see the doctor. You can gently try to convince her to go. You can tell her that you just want to make sure that everything is alright because you would hate to have something happen to her because you love her. If this is the only problem you have with your mom it is certainly not worth getting into fights or arguments over.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You are SO RIGHT about the concept of NEEDING CARE. My mother had what the neurologist identified as a fatal stroke when she was 85, and I KNEW IT when I talked to her on the phone the night it happened, and I WAS AFRAID TO TAKE CHARGE.
By the Grace of God, we muscled her to the hospital the next day, and she had 5 more relatively good independent years alone in her own home before a shattered hip sent her into a long surgery from which she couldn’t fully recover.
This was a woman who had NEVER had appropriate medical care because of her severe anxiety. She lived her whole life on Vick’s Vaporub, Milk of magnesia, Bayer aspirin, and Sloan’s Liniment.
I wanted her to have a crack at independence, but I also knew when I HAD to become the heavy, and then, I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO.
As to the question “What can I do......?”, the answer is —- THERE IS NO GOOD ANSWER. You CHOOSE how you decide to go, you take the steps to facilitate what you’ve planned, and you reassess how things are going with the attempt.
At a certain age, some caregiver’s attempts will go wrong, some will be wonderful. If you are operating with sincere love, respect, and knowledge of your LO, it’s at least a 50-50 shot that you’ll have done the right thing.
Has she decided she's done will all that? No more pills or tests? Do you think that's what she's telling you?
If she is of sound mind you can not make her, force her to see the doctor.
You can gently try to convince her to go.
You can tell her that you just want to make sure that everything is alright because you would hate to have something happen to her because you love her.
If this is the only problem you have with your mom it is certainly not worth getting into fights or arguments over.