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we also cannot leave him alone, therefore my husband and I have no time together and we have no one to leave him with and don't know if he would stay with someone else is we could afford it.

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Is your dad paying for his share of the extra load. I'm assuming he's on SS. If not he should. Any place he lives he will be required to pay for what he can. Yes in home care from Medicare is very good, but if both of you are out of the house for very long periods of time you just may have to look into nursing homes. You may not want to even think in that direction, but my mom didn't give me much choice. She couldn't do anything for herself any longer, and I had to be out of the house for days at a time, because of my job. Sometimes we do what we have to do......hugs....:)
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Is your father on Medicaid? If so, he may qualify for some hours of in-home care. Please go on to your state's Web site and look under aging services (or the equivalent). There you will find local contact information. You will also find your state's version of the Family Caregiver Support Program. That should help you a lot.
Good luck,
Carol
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