Using soap as suppositories! Anyone else have this problem with their parent?
Does anyone else have this problem with their parent? My mother is almost 100, mobile, no meds and living in independent living. (although she should be in assisted living but won't go.) She is obsessed with her bowels. We are always taking away milk of magnesia (she is not supposed to have it, but gets it somehow) She cuts up soap bars and shoves them you know where. We have given her glycerine suppositories as a last resort, but she still cuts up soap, then lies about it. She barely eats enough to stay alive so naturally doesn't go much and we can't get anywhere with the eating, or bowel issue. She won't listen to the doctor either. No matter what we say she is constantly finding ways to force it, giving herself diarrhea one day, claiming constipation for 4 days (the next day). She has progressing dementia, and is still able to get up, dress herself, make coffee, etc, but this obsession with certain topics (like the bowels, her cataract, etc) is frustrating us. Does anyone else have a parent so obsessed?
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It sounds like your mother, Soozieq, is beyond the point where she should be living alone. Assisted living or even memory care would be "better" for her by most objective standards.
BUT would it be better for her peace of mind and emotional well-being? That is another whole kettle of fish (or parsnips, if you are a vegan). Moving would not stop her obsessing on those topics. It would just provide more monitoring. Consider what is the worst that could happen if she continues to live alone. Periodic diarrhea ? What is the worst that could happen in a facility? She could fall into severe depression??
Maybe a compromise is to remove all soap bars from her apartment and provide liquid soap instead. And/or have and aide come in daily to keep her company for a couple of hours, including a meal time, and take her mind off her obsessions.
If she were almost 90 I'd maybe take a different approach. But at 100 your mother is near the end of her life. The goal is to make the time she has left to be as pleasant as it can be for her. You can't make her "healthy" or immortal at this point. I hope you can figure out the best ways to enable her to be as happy as she can be.
Best wishes to you all as you struggle with this.
Anti-anxiety meds helped a lot. This was not a dermatology issue at all. Talk to her doctor about this from an anxiety related fixation problem.
And it's probably time to look at when mom can move to the next level of care that would be a more controlled environment, meaning including structured activities she can't opt out of.
Being able to hang onto the very bare minimum qualifications of one care level does not mean it's successful. My mom was in IL far longer than she should have been, but the change is hard to recognize absent a great big medical event.
Best wishes!
What's wrong with Milk of Magnesia that she's not supposed to have it? Is that doctor's orders? This is a serious question. I'm considering it for my MIL, because she also has constipation issues, mostly from lack of exercise, and she could also use increased Magnesium I think.