Ours is a sad story like so many others. My in-laws were horribly abused by one of my wife's siblings. My father-in-law, who had his faculties, finally changed his POA to us last year and we took over their care. At least we were able to give him a descent last nine months and a real funeral service...unlike what would have happened.
Meanwhile, my wife's sibling took pretty large chunks of money from their parents including approximately $30,000 in cash after refinancing the reverse mortgage to take out more equity.
As this all happened within the last five years, we have been advised that in order to obtain Medicaid, we have to show that any large withdrawl over $1,000 was not a gift but theft, requiring criminal charges or a civil suit at a minimum. In fact, when I approached the local Medicaid office late late week, I was told to come back wtih a criminal complaint and a filed out application.
We really don't want to prosecute my wife's sibling. While this person has been down a bad path, we really don't want the stress or knowledge that we sent a loved one to jail.
We've heard from a bystander that we cannot be forced to prosecute a family member. All of us live in NJ. Can we be forced to take this drastic step?
OK, as hard as it is, we'll go forward and file those charges as soon as possible.
I think you'd have to undertake any criminal charge on behalf of your deceased father (and/or living MIL) pursuant to any authority granted in his Will and/or Trust, as well as the authority you have to act on behalf of your MIL.
That would be the issue of "standing" that might have to be addressed first. Since they were the ones financially abused, unless the children were affected, you'd have to "stand" in the shoes of your in-laws to prosecute...at least that's my interpretation from working with litigators and some limited criminal work.
As to the issue of Medicaid forcing prosecution, that's well beyond my knowledge. There are others here, including Igloo, who are Medicaid experts and hopefully will come along to help you.
And I'd be careful about listening to advice of a "bystander".
Thank you, MaggieMarshall, for your insight as well. That's the problem I think we're facing. My MIL cannot afford the penalty.
Like I initially wrote, our sad story is probably a lot like many others out there. But it's still sad.
In terms of when the house was refinanced, that happened only a couple of years ago. Unfortunately, very little of the money went toward their care. The vast majority walked out of the bank in cash. That's the basis of the criminal charges. We could go further based on the abandonment/neglect, lack of medical care, etc...but one charge is enough.
We are wary of such advice...which is why we're asking this community. Our attorney does not seem to think there is any way out of taking this step. However, one never knows what options might be hidden that others may know...unless we ask.
I wish you strength as you and your wife do what you have to do for her mother's sake.
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