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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Are there other problems for your husband? Because being paraplegic he can still live an active, productive, even happy life with some care. Participate in all therapy you are able to; this is a tremendous and very difficult adjustment.
Now on to sale of home. You say should you sell YOUR home? Is this YOUR home alone or the home of yourself and your husband? If it is YOUR home the answer is definitely not. You should see an attorney at once for division of assets so a home bought and paid for by you and titled in your name is protected for you (as well as for HIM) ongoing. Then, if medicaid is needed, it can be accessed.
If this is BOTH of your home I am still recommending an attorney. You are still going to be able to work if you currently do work. He is not going to need your 24/7 care, and indeed it would not be good for him as he works on adjusting. Too much enabling in helplessness can greatly harm right now.
You and he need the support of others now in a like position and there are MANY. Access the VA system even if hubby isn't a vet and ask for support groups that may be available to you both.l
I wish you the very best. I cannot tell from your post if this is the only thing hubby is dealing with, nor how new this news is, but a spinal surgery with this result likely does mean sudden and if there is some change that this is medical negligence you need to investigate with a good attorney, as the cases where ongoing expensive care is involved are the only malpractice suits that have good results in financial re3compense.
I am so sorry you are both dealing with this, hope you will update us and DO SEEK PROFESSIONAL help now despite the expense. You cannot AFFORD to make costly mistakes at this time.
No, you din't have to sell your home. You see an Elder Lawyer who is well versed in Medicaid. He will look at your assets and split them. DHs split will need to be spent down on his care in a LTC facility. Maybe even aides in the home. About 2 or 3 months before money is gone, you apply for Medicaid for him. When he receives it, you become the Community spouse remaining in the home, get 1 car and enough or all of the monthly income of SS and any pension to pay your living expenses. I am only giving u the basics here. An Elder Lawyer can go into more detail.
This is the very situation friends are in. The husband suffered a severe stroke. His wife has a full time job. They did downsize to a smaller house after the stroke. They used a lawyer who deals alot with elder care.
The husband has a full time aid at the house. The wife kept one car. He is on Medicaid which pays for the aid. The wife still works and they live in a somewhat modest house. His needs (costs) are provided by Medicaid.
They had loans on the previous house. After selling it they paid those off and paid cash for the present house.
Suzy, what is best to do may depend on your age (35 if you were born in 1986?), your husband’s age, your family situation, financial position now, and financial needs for the future.
People on the site can give more information if you provide more details, but in any event this is a complicated situation and you are going to need professional advice. Don’t go making rash decisions without it. Stay away from real estate people and the pressure they can put on.
The benefit of site advice is not to tell you everything you need to know, but to help you ask the right questions and understand the answers of your advisors. Otherwise you will have far too much thrown at you to get your head around, when you are paying for help. Best wishes, Margaret
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Before you do anything, you need to understand how Long Term Care Medicaid works in your state
When only one member of a couple needs to be in a nursing home, the other spouse is called the "community spouse".
Medicaid has no interest in you, the community spouse, becoming poverty stricken or homeless.
So if your HUSBAND needs to be in a Nursing Home, your assets and incomes can be separated so that HE becomes eligible for Medicaid.
You very much need an Elder Law attorney to help you with this.
Do you need help in finding an attorney?
Now on to sale of home. You say should you sell YOUR home? Is this YOUR home alone or the home of yourself and your husband? If it is YOUR home the answer is definitely not. You should see an attorney at once for division of assets so a home bought and paid for by you and titled in your name is protected for you (as well as for HIM) ongoing. Then, if medicaid is needed, it can be accessed.
If this is BOTH of your home I am still recommending an attorney. You are still going to be able to work if you currently do work. He is not going to need your 24/7 care, and indeed it would not be good for him as he works on adjusting. Too much enabling in helplessness can greatly harm right now.
You and he need the support of others now in a like position and there are MANY. Access the VA system even if hubby isn't a vet and ask for support groups that may be available to you both.l
I wish you the very best. I cannot tell from your post if this is the only thing hubby is dealing with, nor how new this news is, but a spinal surgery with this result likely does mean sudden and if there is some change that this is medical negligence you need to investigate with a good attorney, as the cases where ongoing expensive care is involved are the only malpractice suits that have good results in financial re3compense.
I am so sorry you are both dealing with this, hope you will update us and DO SEEK PROFESSIONAL help now despite the expense. You cannot AFFORD to make costly mistakes at this time.
The husband has a full time aid at the house. The wife kept one car. He is on Medicaid which pays for the aid. The wife still works and they live in a somewhat modest house. His needs (costs) are provided by Medicaid.
They had loans on the previous house. After selling it they paid those off and paid cash for the present house.
People on the site can give more information if you provide more details, but in any event this is a complicated situation and you are going to need professional advice. Don’t go making rash decisions without it. Stay away from real estate people and the pressure they can put on.
The benefit of site advice is not to tell you everything you need to know, but to help you ask the right questions and understand the answers of your advisors. Otherwise you will have far too much thrown at you to get your head around, when you are paying for help. Best wishes, Margaret