I also am a single mom of ten year old son, and after these two years, the stress itself has felt like enough to do me in. I need advice. I hate to do that to her, but when is enough ever enough, and will I ever get to enjoy raising my own little boy in peace, and chase some dreams?? Any advice in this agonizing ordeal is so appreciated. I must mention that I have the paperwork to have her addmited to care home. Kellyb
HANG IN THERE.
You've given home care a good try. You know what your limits are, and you've reached them. Time to focus on being a mother and a visiting daughter.
My son is a little older - 16 - and it is still very hard. This is our first year and yes, it has driven somewhat of a wedge between me and my son. I feel like I'm always defending him to my father and am tired of being in a position where I feel forced to 'choose'.
Things were going well (with a lot of home health care); but my father's health and dementia continue to progress so I'm not sure what our future holds.
I guess as soon as I get my son some independence . . . I'll start over by caring for my father? I feel like I have two children and not just one; and that feeling is starting to scare me more and more. His reasoning ability - seems to be just disappearing minute by minute. He cannot remember what happened 60 seconds ago. We're just taking things day by day now; but I'm exhausted.
I definitely think your child comes first. I could not have cared for my father while my son was 10 years old. Between a job and school; homework; sports activities - you simply cannot do it all. Bravo for having the courage to make tough decisions.
How old is your mom and how dependant is she on others? Can she possibly live in an apartment with your help? What is her response or thoughts on going to AL?
What specifically are your stress triggers?
'They can help you with your search and set up all the appointments to tour the places. I keep telling my mom that this is going to be a vacation of a lifetime. She won't have to do anything but just have fun. Good Luck - Carol
I understand your feelings. I cared for my granny for a long time. She passed away in the comfort of her own home on New Year's Day of this year. I can tell you that It was very challenging and difficult with a full time job, husband, and kids. However, I did my very best with GOD's guidance to care for her. If you have done all that, you can do and feel that you no longer can provide 100% care to your mom then it is time to have someone else to care for her. Please don't think you are giving up on her, but sometimes, the best way to care for a senior loved one is from afar. You can still monitor her progress and health if you decide to put her into a home. So, please don't feel like you are giving up. Have you try to get support at home i.e. homemaker service? Do you have family members that can help? I understand if family members don't want to help...been there. Just remember, if you have done all that you can do to care for your mom, please don't feel bad if you have to put her in a home. Thank you for caring for your MOM, there are many people who don't have anyone to care for him or her at all. Many blessings and care from me to you.
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