Follow
Share

It is a bit of a hardship to have him not sleep the night before, pack and schlep bags then try to walk to our transportation. Maybe it isn't worth it? Once settled, it promises to be a lovely spot for 6 days.

I think I'd extend the 6 days to 12. If you're going to take such a trip with all the travel aggravation, at least make it a nice 2 week one instead of a short 1 week trip! You'll feel less rushed that way and give yourselves longer to recoup between flights.
Helpful Answer (9)
Reply to lealonnie1
Report

The airlines are great at helping. Request wheelchair assistance.
They will take you and your husband on a cart from check in to the gate. You will get through security much faster and you won't have to rush.
Do get to the airport the full 2 hours before though.
Get disposable incontinence underwear. Get him used to wearing it now. Even encourage him to pee in it so that he knows how well they work and he won't try to rush to the bathroom if he is comfortable knowing that they won't leak.
But even with that pack a few gallon zipper bags and an extra change of clothes as well as a few extra disposable underwear. If he needs to he can change. There are "Family restrooms" so you can help if you need to.

While it may be an expense if you live more than 2 hours from the airport you might want to think about getting a hotel near the airport so that you won't have to rush. Most of those hotels will provide transportation to the hotel and if you drive your car to the hotel they may allow you to park for the duration of your trip.
This is an even better suggestion if you have an early morning flight.

Side note..I hope you have trip insurance just in case you do have to cancel at the last minute.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Grandma1954
Report

I couldn't face all this, but that is ME. You know hubby best, and know your own ability to adapt and handle things without a whole lot of fretting and anxiety. For me vacation would have to be very restful for us both. I think if I were planning long or involved trips I might attempt them alone, with a girlfriend.
So basically this is your own choice. That you are thinking about this and measuring the pros and cons is great. That's about the best you can do.
I wish you the best of luck.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report

If you’re able and willing to (I realize it’s a lot of effort on your end), definitely BRING HIM TO HAWAII.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to hereiam
Report

Great advice here - and I know Hawaii has Uber get the app, its really easy to use - if you use them for a short trips just tip them better.

Keep traveling as long as you can - when my husband and I see the over 90's out and about - we hope to be them some day.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to OncehatedDIL
Report

My Mom is 95 and has some urine incontinence. I've lately only been flying her to FL from MN and back (and I'm 65) -- on direct flights only. A few weeks ago on the flight down we hit turbulence early into the flight so that no one was allowed to get up for most of the 3-hr flight. My Mom didn't understand that she couldn't get up to go to the bathroom and decided to create drama by insisting loudly that she had to have a BM. I told her it didn't matter (cuz I knew it wasn't true) that I was once yelled at by crew for getting up for the bathroom during a similar circumstance (true). She suddenly didn't have to go...

And those airline bathrooms... only fit 1 person no matter what, so if your husband has any issues in there (like figuring out how to unlock the door, etc) you may be waiting outside of it for a while.

You can order wheelchair service from the airport entrance to the gate and even onto the plane if you ask for this (in advance). You can rent the baggage carts for schlepping luggage. And do the same when you land in Hawaii. It is a long flight... once he's there will you have help with him? It's really up to you to decide what you think you are willing and able to do.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

I personally would cancel if we are talking what I would do. The jet leg isn’t going to help anything.

Maybe go to California coast instead? I’d suggest Florida keys but not sure how they are doing right now with these hurricanes.

I don’t know where you live, but it took us a long time to get to Honolulu. 3.5 hours to Salt Lake City and then 7 hours to HNL.

Is he going to do Ok for 7-10 hours of flight time with no where to land when you are over the ocean?

Also, my 65 year old uncle had a kidney stone in Hawaii and he didn’t want to get it out there, so it was a turn around long flight for him and then straight to the ER to take care of that.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Southernwaver
Report
waytomisery Oct 7, 2024
I’ve been to Hawaii twice . We flew from Philadelphia , changed airplane in Phoenix first time , Dallas the second time . Personally I would not want to deal with incontinence on those long flights . I wouldn’t go at 90 years old either but that’s me . It’s not the easiest trip .
(1)
Report
You could set up ahead of time with the airline for a wheelchair to get him from door , through security to airplane. Then when you land , wheelchair to baggage claim and then exit door . But then you still have to get to your final destination .

You don’t mention if your husband has dementia or not . With dementia this could be a very stressful trip .

How about a more local trip , if he thinks it’s too stressful ?
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to waytomisery
Report

Hire help to manage the hard parts. You want to arrive safely.
Have him wear pull-ups for protection so he doesn’t risk a fall by hurrying to the bathroom. Start wearing them now so he can have confidence they will work.
Skip any walking by utilizing the services the airport provides. Go by yourself to check it all out so you are familiar before hand.

Are there other issues?
You might want to update your bio. It is all about your parents and nothing about not DH. I hope you have a wonderful time.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to 97yroldmom
Report

I think that would be a big no. Traveling is not easy and so much can go wrong and the stress would be immense, to me. We stopped doing long car rides with my mom a few years ago cuz it was just too much. Incontinence. Confusion. No vacation for me and my hubby dealing with all that.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to againx100
Report

See All Answers
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter