Follow
Share

I'm going out of my mind!! Every time I schedule an appt on my day off for my mother to see her doctor..we get a call that she is running late..sometimes it takes all DAY to get in. I feel like it's a huge disrespect to myself and my free time and I'm not sure how to handle it since my mother loves her doc. I can't ever schedule any other appts around it, OR have anything at all planned for the day due to her always being late- and we never know when we'll get in...advice????

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Hi krnflgrl, Glad to help....One other thing I ran into when Mom was alive.... She could be very stubborn, and it was exceedingly difficult to talk her into doing things. I discovered that, in certain cases ( where I thought it was necessary for my parents' health or safety), I had to firmly and lovingly tell my parents that such-and-such was what they needed to do, and then make the arrangements for whatever it was. Sometimes I had to endure being the "heavy" or the "mean daughter" in order to take good care of them. Funny thing is......When Mom was just about to die (she was in the hospice period ) she then realized how my intentions had been for her best all along, and she actually (in front of me) praised me to her brother for having gotten her and Dad to move into assisted living. She proudly and smilingly said of me: "She FORCED us ( to move)!" That was her way of thanking me, and also letting her younger brother know that some day soon his kids might be trying to convince him of the same thing. Hearing Mom say this of me days before she died really made me feel good. It was like--- when she was facing death that close, she was able to see everything in its proper perspective, and she even got to thank me. It meant a lot to me and confirmed that I had had their best interests in mind all along. Mom was a class act. So my main message is....Do what, in your heart, you think is right for your parents. Whenever possible, try to bring them into the decision so that they can "own" it or be part of it. But when they continue to resist and you still feel something is the right thing to do, be strong and follow your conscience and do not take to heart negative/critical comments from them.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Yep, got the same thing here...mom has has the same old fricken doctor for a long time and we have to wait a long time to see him and then when he comes in it's about 5 minutes of crap not amounting to a hill of beans either. He's an old fart too and his last nurse that got him to sign a bunch of paper for Family Leave for me last year to take care of mom said she could not tolerate him much more and I noticed that last time I was there she was gone. He's an old fart and she even said he should be gone and retired because his quality of care is crap. Last time I was there he went on and on about how he likes metamucil better than citricil...okay my mom's the patient not you..and he never engages with her..and has run on blathering just to hear himself talk the pompous old fool. So I think my mom is realizing he is good for s**t now as well. So doctor's are hard to find...the one I started up with recently is crap as well, lost test results and absolutely no follow up with you at all. Gonna ditch that one when I get over the hump of mommy dearest crapola...literally!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

LOL!!! You guys have all been a huge help...!! Her appt. was at 940am this morning..we got in at noon!! Although, I DID have a talk with her doc today about my caregiving stress...and, she agreed, we needed to do something. My mom is as stubborn and as critical as they come..and today even the doc got fed up with her! It ended up being an okay day...but..the appt problem is getting to be ridiculous. I'm going to see if my brother can start taking her occasionally- which he will have to do if I take the possible full time job I might have...

Either way..thanks again for all your great responses. It's so nice to come on here and see that others are going through the same thing. It's like a huge hug!!! Thanks you guys!!!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Yep it's amazing how similiar problems there are out there...and no one is trying to make things better! The medical community is not proactive but reactive...shame we should be so much farther ahead by now being in the 21 century! Oh but we gotta have those danged 3D tv's next...go figure!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

they get my pa in right away cuz he cant sit and wait for his name to be called in . he owuld hollar and hollar and everybodys lookin at him and im sayin shh pa . he said well my appt is at 10 and what time is it wa waaaa , he just keeps on a hollarin waaa waaa then they call his name and he smiles and goes in and sits and wait for the dr and if its takin too long theyre gonna hear him waaaaaaa waaaaaaaaaa . he gets em going cuz he knows we cant stand to hear that high pitch waaaaaaaaaaa. lol . pa knows how the system works . just hollar he said . that'll get thier attention he said .
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Your pa sounds like my dad!!! I took care of him too through lung cancer and he whined and whined till the very end...if it was 5 minutes past his time, he'd be sharing stories about waiting with everyone in the waiting room and saying " This is G*d D*mn ridiculous!!!" Over and over....I think I inherited my spirit from him...so every time I get upset, I can hear him in my head and it makes me laugh.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Your pa sounds like my dad!!! I took care of him too through lung cancer and he whined and whined till the very end...if it was 5 minutes past his time, he'd be sharing stories about waiting with everyone in the waiting room and saying " This is G*d D*mn ridiculous!!!" Over and over....I think I inherited my spirit from him...so every time I get upset, I can hear him in my head and it makes me laugh.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

yes sometimes i can hear him and he s sleeping ! i thought oh pa s awake and i go ck on him uhh he s sleeping ! ive been brainwash . haha
krnflakgrl , sorry for your loss . my pa is 86 yrs old with dementia .
i lost my mom in 20 yrs ago due to cancer , very sad times there . she kept sayin shes ready to meet her master (lord) . well after sufferin for few mos and he took her . it was fast spreading cancer . i know shes alot happier now , no more suffering ...
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

my mom is good at whining too...maybe I'll get her to do that as well...LMAO
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I am sorry but I would just tell Mom I am not taking her back to that doc because you do not have all day for one appointment and if she wants you to take her she has to get a new doc.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter