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She is getting up a couple times at night to use the bathroom. Every time I hear the buzzer I want to cry because I can't get back to sleep. I don't want to put her in a diaper because I don't want her to loose the sensation to go but something has got to give.

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I do not have dementia myself but can answer as a person who gets up to pee. I am female and I get up to pee because I have a full bladder. I empty it and then I go back to bed. This is due to biological need. In the morning, my bladder is full again. I am not upset by my own biological need. I try to be quiet should anyone be near me, however, I live by myself. When I was at conferences and had to sleep dormitory style I recall one person was bothered upon hearing me pitter-patter in the night and asked for a room change. Whose need is it to stop this behavior, yours or your mother's? I take it you are taking her to the bathroom so she will not fall, and then, you cannot get back to sleep. Who needs the pill, then, you or your mom? Maybe you should consider one of those sound wave apps you can download from Google Play or Apple completely free. These are much safer than pills and use sound to relax you. There are no dangerous side effects and no morning grogginess. You can also adjust these and control them yourself. This is different from hypnosis, no worries about "suggestions" you cannot control.

I know myself I need to pee. To not empty a full bladder means risk of infection or just plain discomfort. Or, if I had a weak sphinctor muscle, I'd wet the bed. Actually, I consider it a blessing that one of the human body's automatic alarm clocks is the full bladder, which sends signals to the brain to wake up. Many people don't even realize it but use their bladders to wake them each morning, and get to work on time. God bless nature, to keep responsible workers showing up each day.
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I am elderly 78 and I take Trazadone, prescribed by my doctor, to help me sleep through the night. I do usually, however, have to get up at least one time to pee, but I am still rather groggy. I go back to bed and fall asleep immediately. Perhaps YOU need a sleep aid?
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My mom wears pull ups and she still knows when she needs to go to the bathroom. They are a "just in case" thing. Also if a caregiver needs to do something to make care more convenient and it does not hurt their loved one, don't get so righteous. Someone who is working and has other responsibilities may need sleep to maintain their health. A sleep aid for a loved one is better than a dead caregiver
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If you would like your mom to be on a sleeping pill discuss it with her Dr. But if you give her medication at night it might be a good idea to put her in some Depends in case she sleeps through the urge to go.

This situation is always a fine line. You want your mom to sleep through the night so you introduce a medication but then if she does wake up in the night she's liable to be groggy and sleepy which can increase her chances of falling. Or she may not get up at all and need her linens changed in the morning. But without the medication you are up and down yourself all night and not getting the rest you need.

Talk to her Dr. I'm sure there's something mild the Dr. can try.
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My mom has dementia and diabetic. Getting up 8 times a night to assist her after three years (and each time it took 15-20 minutes I was a mess. ) sleep deprivation. Talked mom into using a diaper. Prepared the bed so the change in the morning would only need the top covering. It's very important for you to smother her behind with TRIPLE PASTE SO she doesn't frail her sensitive skin. Yes she takes 7.5 mg of temazapan for sleeping. Wakes up rejuvenated and refreshed. When she gets up I wash her up immediately change clothing cup of coffee and then a bath. Ideal
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Ask her doctor about Seroquel. That is the only thing that seemed to calm my mom down enough so that she could sleep, and get back to sleep once she got up from going to the bathroom.
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What makes you think wearing a protective garment (NEVER USE DIAPER) will make her lose her sensation of having to urinate? That is just crazy, and her bed will be protected. As far as you having a "buzzer", remove it if she is only going to the bathroom. You need your sleep and you cannot be a caregiver on zero sleep. My husband comes right back to bed and goes right to sleep wearing a "pull-up" as I call them. You do not want to drug her just because you want sleep. She must go to the bathroom otherwise her kidneys will retain fluid and lying horizontally is very bad for kidneys.
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I know how difficult this is. My mother has a bedside commode which helps but it still doesn't address the issue of her waking up few times a night to void. We have all agreed not to use adult diapers as that's to our advantage not her. We are trying to maintain the little dignity she has left. Because she has fallen 3 times in past few years, giving her a night sedative would make her chance of falling even greater due to grogginess. And besides medicating her to prevent her need to void is, again, for our advantage. Have you tried something natural like Melatonin at night? This helps her to naturally sleep but if she needs to void, she needs to void. Stagnant urine in the bladder will eventually cause urinary tract infection which makes her totally confused, more than her normal. I really don't know what the answer is for you to get some sleep. Only suggestion when your sleep is severely compromised is to hire someone while maybe you sleep in the other room. You can't be any good to anyone else if you're not getting your own sleep. Good luck and believe me, I know what it's like.
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MIL was put on oxybutynin for over active bladder, seems to help. Although she uses a diaper she is well aware she needs to go and often makes it. Diapers should only be a last resort, leads to skin break down and bedsores. MIL is still "with it " enough that she knows she needs to clean herself after an "accident". As and the name gives aware the statement "Ibeenscammed" wrote we all have a biological need to go and a built in timer that reminds us to go but keep in mind these folks are like babies, only going in the wrong direction, they need to go they know they need to go but somewhere between the mind bladder and feet the info gets confused til its too late and accidents happen !! have you ever slept so hard that when you woke your back hurt til you were able to relieve yourself? this is what they feel !!! We all took on this mission to care for our loved one's, mine is my MIL we don't always get along get along worse when outside influences are in play but I made the CHOICE to care for her, No one else will do it and I am that kind of person !! Deal with the choices you made, get help for YOURSELF to handle difficult situations but remember YOU made the choice to do what you do, if you can't then walk away cause in the end your not only making yourself MISEABLE your making your loved one just as miserable !!
Talk to the Dr see what they say about the oxybutynin NAP when they do !! Again it's like caring for your baby, for those of you that have babies, you did what you had to do then and would never consider walking out and leaving them in a filthy diaper, alone in a bed not knowing what is happening or WHY its happening just that it IS happening. Your entire role is to make them more comfortable, more at ease with that is happening, secure and loved ...
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I feel with you. I did not give my husband anything to drink after 3pm. All liquid was had in the morning only. This seemed to work. Ask your doc about a little melatonin.
Maybe hire a person to come in from midnight-6. Just to watch/assist the patient.
It does not have to be an aide. Just someone you trust.
We are all in this together.
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