My mom is 88 with the beginnings of dementia. She has lost her concept of day and night. $$ on overnight care. I have a full time job and she lives next door to me. I feel so torn, but I want her to be comfortable and happy. I would love for her to be able to remain in her own home. We tried living together, but proved to be extremely stressful for both of us. She is funny and can take care of her own personal hygiene. I would love for her have a companion to take her places and just be there when I cant.
One option for daytime supervision is an Adult Day Health Program. Usually they pick the participant up and return them home. They may offer a simple breakfast and have a hot lunch. Some offer optional services such as help showering, and toenail care. It would be a way to keep have Mom safe and occupied while you work. When you are home, you might consider some kind of electronic monitoring. Ultimately she will need someone in the house with her.
If you can meet her safety needs with her in her own home, I'm all for that! Realistically, even if you arrange for her needs to be met at home now, that may not be sufficient indefinitely (depending on dementia's rate of progression).
You may also want to compare the costs of round-the-clock in-home care vs the cost of an appropriate facility. What can Mom afford? Might she need Medicaid eventually?
Dementia is such a sad, scary, and expensive disease!
Still, she sounds like she could take advantage of the socialization at this point and that may help her stay more lucid for a longer time. I hope that you'll look around at what is available in your community.
Take care,
Carol
The Assisted Living option went well for my wife for couple of weeks. Then the question of, "when can I come to our house?" surfaced. After two months time she still asked the same question.
After six months in the ALC, the same question was being asked, so I moved her back home, changed my business schedule, hired an additional employee for business and enrolled her into Daily Living Center thinking all bases were covered. The Daily Living Center was just as you described in their services & care. The only detraction was that there was little interaction & conversation among the attendees after light exercises & simple games.
Then I tried an "Alheimer's-Dementia" 24 hour care center. I found out that it was just an expensive experience.
I have modified my scheduling again, thus allowing me to spend time with my wife in her state of mind. She enjoys getting out of the house, socializing with the elements. No more headaches, no more ear aches, have cut her medications. The down side is that now I am confined much of the time in not having a lot of time for me but I do hire outside help occasionally for a break.
The only thing that I would like to see would be that her 4 daughters (all live within 75 miles) would come to visit, send a gift or even a card. On special days & events I have resorted to buying 4 cards or 4 inexpensive gifts, having people sign each of the daughters names to each card, I even put stamps on cards, carry them to post office to have them sent our house so that my wife does not know that her daughters are not in touch, same thing at birthday & Christmas. I like to see the elated look on my wifes face when I explain who they are from, sometimes she says she remembers & on other times she has no recollection. Under handed? Maybe, but I am the receipent of knowing she might have a moment of recollection. I am blessed.
There are rare cases of night adult care if you live in a large urban area perhaps it's possible.
Like others said - things can change quickly with dementia and can become difficult for a caregiver. not sure what "early stages" means-i wonder -has she been diagnosed?
If you hire someone overnight, then you need to make sure this person is reliable, knowledgeable about handling her symptoms and can handle a crisis. Some prospective customers believe that they should not pay for a caregiver while she is asleep. They believe the caregiver is not "doing anything." when she is sleeping. However, your wife could have a crisis during the night, You would want a caregiver to be immediately alert and capable of taking charge of the situation, no matter if it is small or a true crisis, e.g. need to go to an E.R. So when you are hiring for overnight care, you need to hire someone who has worked at night. You don't want to hire a caregiver who has already worked a full day at another home or works a day job and then wants to work for you @ night,
Once you find an appropriate person, then treat them well because they are a valuable asset. None-the-less, it might be a good strategy to investigate assisted living facilities, so you will be ahead of the game when the time comes. Some facilities have waiting lists and some are likely to be inappropriate for your wife,
Good luck-you are facing tough decisions,
teddybear08: As far as allowing your mom to stay in her home as long as possible, DO IT. You can hire a trained or life experienced person to companion with her when you are not available. Some church's have people that volunteer to do this for free. The ALF and homes are a last resort in my opinion. Your mother is going to be as social as she is right now...these facilities boast about interaction and socialization but it all depends on the person. If my mother in law could have stayed in her home (very bad neighborhood) and we could have paid for in home service, she would be much better off. Instead she has been in and out of ALF's who accept your payment, promise you the moon, and then determine that their ALF home staff cannot possible clean, meal prep, cook, do laundry, and provide the proper "companionship" that the elderly people with dementia need. If you had a 36 hour day, maybe. Don't be fooled by the referrals and advertisements...you need BIG money to receive appropriate/responsive care. There may be exceptions , but they are few and far between. Money talks in this world...LOUD AND CLEAR. Keep your mom in her house as long as you possibly can. And spot check your person, surprise arrivals, little tests that keep you informed of their character and intent. You can do it teddybear08.
(Source: alz.website) As for immediate need, check out care.com. I got Mother's caregiver there. They are a referral service and do not charge a fee other than $25 to join. They also offer background checks (which I highly recommend). I paid her caregiver $10 per hour Some agencies charge $8.50 for nights.
ivanhoe.
And here is another one that is about an implant to fight Alzheimers. sciencedaily.