My mom thinks there is a man in her bed. Any suggestions on what I can do?

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My mom thinks there is a man in her bed. Any suggestions on what I can do?

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My mom with Alzheimer’s now believes there is a man in her bed, she can't get him out and therefore sleeps in the chair. I have tried a few tactics - I have said he is gone, also tried telling her to kick him out, I have kicked him out. Any suggestions? She is not getting any sleep now. She also thinks the woman in the mirror does not like her (they used to be friends). Is this indicative of a further decline - is this “normal” for Alzheimer’s?

Alzheimer's & Dementia Dementia Behaviors

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No matter the age, or exact diagnosis hallucinations and delusions are hallmarks of mental illness for which there are various anti-psychotic medications. You need to speak with a Psychopharmacologist who deals with seniors to see if there is a safe medication to deal with these symptoms.

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Imho, so sorry, I did see that your mother has Alzheimer's so it's more difficult, of course, than a medication check.

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Imho, a medication check may be in order as some meds manifest into hallucinations. Prayers sent.

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Yeah, my 89 year old mother-in-law has MCI and tends to sundown, and on occasion she hallucinates. One time she swore that the Devil was chasing her around her room (and considering she gets around with a walker, it couldn't have been much of a chase...). A couple months ago, she asked my wife and I who we had over for company, because a strange man with a tool kit stuck his head into her bedroom, said "Oh, hi! I don't think I'm supposed to be here", and left (there had been NOBODY in the house except the three of us), and a week later she said she heard my daughter's voice coming out of her television. SHe also has delusions that she is somehow going to be miraculously healed so she doesn't need her walker any more, and that also God promised her that she was going to get her old house back (that was sold about 6 years ago, when she was no longer able to care for herself properly and had fallen victim to a scammer and was shown to be incompetent to handle her own affairs - which is why my wife takes care of her mother now). And when she sundowns, or when something else sets her off, she tends to call a friend of hers downstate and complain at her, and then this friend calls the DHHS. THis has happened so many times, and with the exact same complaints every time, that the DHHS has put both mu mother-in-law and her friend on their "problem child list". As they told us, legally they have to investigate complaints but this has happened so many times with my mother-in-law and her friend that they don't take them seriously any more. They've simply become nuisances. In fact, my mother-in-law seems to think that she can get the DHHS to help her "go back home" if she complains enough, and THEY came right out and told her that that wasn't their job. But of course she didn't believe them because it just doesn't fit into whatever endless loop she has playing over and over in her head. Welcome to the wonderful world of dealing with a dementia patient. Ain't it FUN?

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HaHaHa. funny MIL.... If this is FUN, who needs 2020? ;-)

(P.S. Sounds like you are a good SIL, letting MIL live there and putting up with all this FUN!)

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It sounds like your mother might be sundowning. For my mom, we had great results with Respiradone and my mom's nighttime hallucinations stopped. We tried all the other bedtime ritual suggestions and nothing worked. During the sundowning episodes, my mother would be so scared and hysterical. If we had not started the Respiradone, I am sure she would have had a stroke or heart attack. Good luck to you.

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My mom has eyesight issues caused by dementia and aging. Sometimes she would see a man, however, in her case ended up being a coat rack which when looking at it could look like a person. Shadows etc. Got rid of the coat rack, it did fix the problem. Maybe the blankets, their colours and shape on bed cause shadows, and a human image.....would just look into going for light colored blankets etc., could work, or not. Worth the try! Just something familiar to stuff that happens with my 95 year old mom. Best wishes.

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If it didn't work when you kicked him out, maybe the local police would help and come "arrest" the man, take him away and inform your mother he will NOT be back. I don't know if it would work, but one time my mother was afraid, for some reason, that we were about to be kicked out of our apartment. I called the local (small town) police and the local police chief came and assured her we were not going to have to go anywhere. He stayed and kept assuring my mother until she was satisfied we weren't going to have to leave. I've had to call the a few times to help me pick Mom off of the floor (she wasn't hurt, thank goodness) and they have been nothing but gracious and understanding.

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Give up and buy her a comfy recliner (can be a safer way for the frail elderly to sleep anyway).
When she moves on to a different delusion, she may start using the bed again.

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Thanks for all the responses. Mom actually doesn’t take any medications - aside from Alzheimer’s she is quite healthy. The delusions have been for 3 years now - they used to be friendly, but now they are causing her some distress. I have an appointment with her doctor in January and will discuss in length at that time

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I could write a book about the stories my Mom told me. I thought some were so funny. Talk to the doctor, usually meds calm them down a little. They get worse as time goes on. I wish you the best with this horrible disease.

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Please talk to her doctor. Hallucinations can be the result of infections (UTIs are a huge culprit), poor oxygenation, or imbalances in electrolytes. All of these can be treated.

My grandmother had lots of hallucinations when she was having health challenges. Once her sodium levels were out of whack - probably from diet changes and type of blood pressure medication. Once, she was sick and kept imagining a hole in the floor. Once she and my mom came from Illinois to visit us in Colorado and she had oodles of hallucinations. It turns our that she wasn't oxygenating well (oxygen is much lower in the mountains and she has a bad heart) and a little oxygen tank was the "fix" for the remainder of the visit.

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Yes, this is a decline.

Mention this to her Dr.

My 96 yr old Dad has hallucinations. Sees things that aren't there but it only lasts a day and goes away.

Dit's your mom have a Cathiter? If so urinary tract infections " UTI's"
Can cause irrational behavior, hallucinations, ect.

Try Praying for and with your mom.

Let her know her Guardian Angel will be staying with her now and the man has left and she is now safe.

Change the mirror for a beautiful picture of your mom or yourself or just art of something your mom would like or a collage of lots of old pictures.

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My grandma went through that. My mom told her, "If there is a man in there, you get up and let me sleep there!" It made her giggle and calmed her down enough that she could sleep.

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LOL--that was excellent psychology!

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you can google : medications that cause hallucinations.

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Read up on the side effects of the medications she is on. Think back to when the "seeing people in bed and mirrors" began. Probably shortly after beginning medications. Delusions and hallucinations are common on medications in this catergory. And the medicine does little to help the person taking them. Consider asking her dr to reduce/take her off them. Grandfather has dementia and does much better when I give him simple Sage tea. 3 bags to a big cup and a spoon of honey. A big improvement mentally and emotionally...though still has moments when he cycles through negative irrational thinking patterns. Don't we all :)

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Thank you for the responses. I think I might try the stuffed animal.

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Ask her what the man's name is.

If you don't have a dog, perhaps you can foster one for awhile. (?) if you are a pet person.

Get her a stuffed teddy bear, and perhaps that may work.

Put a pretty poster or picture up against the mirror, as the forum has suggested.
Or lil party lights at night.

Play soft music that she likes. maybe she can close her eyes and listen to that. books on tape.

At least your mom still talks. I hope she gets a bit of rest and piece of mind.

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My mother has vascular dementia and Alzheimer's and she went through a period where she thought a man & woman were in her bed and small children were playing in her bedroom. This eventually became a problem because she said the man and woman in her bed were threatening her and she chose to sleep sitting up in a chair. She would also look at her reflection in the mirror and not realize that is was her, at first this wasn't an issue but she started cursing (extremely vulgar terms) at the person in the mirror and telling the person to stop following her everywhere she goes. Her doctor was great and she increased her medication, which helped with the man and woman that she thought were in her bed and my husband covered the mirrors in her bedroom and her bathroom and that stopped her from cursing at the person in the mirror. I eventually had to place her in a memory care facility because it became too much for me to handle after 4 years of caring for her. Unfortunately with this disease you always feel as though you are running a race, because as soon as you figure out how to conquer one thing something else happens. I hope that things work out for both of you

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Omg. This is EXACTLY how I'm feeling with my now 88 year old grandmother. People in her bed, small children running around the house, the reflection in the mirror is not hers. EXACTLY as you described it. I have a feeling after 3 or 4 years I'm gonna have to place her. I dont wanna do this because my mom, whose had 2 strokes, has been in one for 3 years. But none of my cousins are helping and I don't expect them to. I've sacrificed my youth and life and finances to fight this demon called dementia. And it is hell. I wouldn't wish this on nobody.

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Your mom's behavior is typical of AD. If her delusions don't cause her any anxiety, and if you can tolerate them, try to go with it. If her not getting any sleep causes you problems, then you might want to bring it up with her PCP to get some meds for her. You've done well in your responses in not denying what she believes. You might want to cover the mirrors so she doesn't see her ex-friend.

There's really not much that can be done unless her delusions effect either of you negatively. Then check on the meds. She may also outgrow these symptoms.

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Yes it is normal. There are meds for her hallucinations if they are causing problems. My Moms never did.

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My mom thinks there is a man in her bed. Any suggestions on what I can do?

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