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You've asked this question twice, the first time asking how to discourage mom from getting a new denture. Then coming up with lots of reasons why she shouldn't get one when folks told you to get her a new one:
When you ask for advice, you'll get lots of it. Do as you see fit. If this were me asking my children for something of this nature and not frivolous, I'd expect to get it. If you expect an elder with dementia not to change her mind 100x, fuggedaboutit. She either needs the new denture or she doesn't. Make the decision FOR her and that's the end of it. Preserve her dignity, like Pepper6 so eloquently explained.
When my mother was in Memory Care Assisted Living and could not make ONE single rational decision about anything, I took the reins and made them FOR her. There really is no other way bc if you're waiting for HER to be 100% certain, you'll have a long wait on your hands.
This happened with my mom. I called dentists and there were several that would come to the assisted living place and take the imprint mold then go back and make sure the fit was good or shave if necessary. If paying cash, tell them, usually a discount. Then let the director know at the facility what happened and to stress your desire to make sure they would not get lost again.
You should get her the dentures. Make her life as easy as possible. You may be thinking she may will live enough longer to justify the cost of dentures, but she will live longer with them than without them. Don't contribute to her stress and discomfort by withholding things that will make her life more comfortable.
My father wanted a new set of dentures a year before he passed away. His POA handled all his finances and tried to get him not to spend the money. (He had enough to pay for them) He got them. When he was sent to a care home, he no longer walked because his walker ,RX eye glasses, and hearing AND new dentures went MIA) .If anything was lost it had to be in his bed, right? He was fully cognizant, he was dealing with heart failure and was sharp as a tack. He told me that his dignity was taken away. The tone in his voice and what he said still brings me to tears. I tried to get the POA changed but it was Covid time and lawyers were not available for months. My dad only asked for his dentures and if that was the last gift anyone could have given him. it would have given him a speck of dignity and he felt a bit respected. I say, buy the dentures.
If the parent, wants dentures, get them. It may be the last gift you can give them so they feel some dignity. yes, they may have gotten lost. What is the price one can put on helping a loved one, feel okay? At that time in their life, they ask so little. Did our parents dictate what we needed as we were adults?
If I was in that position, nursing home, lost my dentures and asked for new ones, I would hope a loved one would help me get them. They would be helping a person maintain their dignity and one of their last remaining pleasures, eating good food.
Depends. How does she eat without them? Could she lose them again? Ask her / a DDS what the procedure(s) are and if a 96 year old person c/sh/ould be put thru this.
Have you asked the facility what they would suggest? Most have ambulance service to medical appointments, so they may do the same for dental? As a side note, some, "not all", get more confused to leave and come back.
Same with my Dad right now. Usually wrapped up in his bed sheets but not this time. He thinks they are IN. He’s in MC and no shape to go to a dentist. He’s not having trouble eating so I guess he’s going to live with it. 🤷🏻♀️ Nothing much I can do. Good luck.
My DH Aunt lost her uppers many times. She quit wearing the bottoms years before. I had a hard and fast rule that the caregiver not leave until they found them. They always did until one day they didn’t. They would be in her chair lining, behind the headboard of the bed or some such spot they had slipped to. The day they went missing her aide even went through the garbage. A few weeks went by and her aide noticed a pair of her flannel lined slacks seemed a little heavy when she was putting them on her. The plate had slipped through a hole in her pocket and lodged inside the lining of the pants. They had been washed and dried and hanging in the closet. She went back to wearing them and taking them off. Then she quit wearing them altogether and never looked back. She didn’t want to go to the dentist to see if they needed to be replaced and I knew with dementia, it would be difficult.
I was a teenage before I knew my mom even had dentures. She never took them off in front of anyone. She had them replaced when they broke in her 80s and it took forever to get used to how different she looked with new ones. She never lost hers but she never took them off and she didn’t have dementia. in fact she did it all on her own.
Have you searched her room thoroughly? My Aunt used to wrap them up in a napkin and hide them under seat cushions and such. Eventually she wrapped them up and left them on her food tray and they were accidentally discarded. I would not order other dentures unless it is minimum effort and is somehow covered by insurance. It won't be the last time she loses them.
Perhaps say that it will take 3 weeks or more to get new dentures made, and swap her to whatever she can eat in the meantime. If she goes OK with a soft diet, don’t bother about new dentures.
Do you know how she lost her plate? Does she remember? Was it some way that she might repeat? Unfortunately, losing one plate can easily be followed by another loss, which gets very expensive and highly inconvenient. Worth a try with a soft diet option?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
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I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
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APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
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This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/how-do-i-discourage-my-96-year-old-mother-not-to-try-to-get-new-dentures-made-she-is-getting-worse-d-485440.htm
When you ask for advice, you'll get lots of it. Do as you see fit. If this were me asking my children for something of this nature and not frivolous, I'd expect to get it. If you expect an elder with dementia not to change her mind 100x, fuggedaboutit. She either needs the new denture or she doesn't. Make the decision FOR her and that's the end of it. Preserve her dignity, like Pepper6 so eloquently explained.
When my mother was in Memory Care Assisted Living and could not make ONE single rational decision about anything, I took the reins and made them FOR her. There really is no other way bc if you're waiting for HER to be 100% certain, you'll have a long wait on your hands.
How does she eat without them?
Could she lose them again?
Ask her / a DDS what the procedure(s) are and if a 96 year old person c/sh/ould be put thru this.
Consult her MD and her / a DDS then decide.
Gena / Touch Matters
A few weeks went by and her aide noticed a pair of her flannel lined slacks seemed a little heavy when she was putting them on her. The plate had slipped through a hole in her pocket and lodged inside the lining of the pants. They had been washed and dried and hanging in the closet.
She went back to wearing them and taking them off. Then she quit wearing them altogether and never looked back. She didn’t want to go to the dentist to see if they needed to be replaced and I knew with dementia, it would be difficult.
I was a teenage before I knew my mom even had dentures. She never took them off in front of anyone. She had them replaced when they broke in her 80s and it took forever to get used to how different she looked with new ones. She never lost hers but she never took them off and she didn’t have dementia. in fact she did it all on her own.
Just starting dementia could mean so many things.
Do you know how she lost her plate? Does she remember? Was it some way that she might repeat? Unfortunately, losing one plate can easily be followed by another loss, which gets very expensive and highly inconvenient. Worth a try with a soft diet option?