Mother is so scared someone is trying to control her. She’s very difficult. How do I handle this?

My mother is 87, has severe diabetes and doesn’t hear well at all even with hearing aids. There are so many examples of the problem but I’m told I’m over sensitive. Maybe I am. We go out once a week, she asked to drive to a neighboring city and go to thrift stores and a restaurant. I’ve taken her places in town at her insistence but I told her I didn’t feel comfortable taking her to a city with twice as many covid cases especially to thrift stores. I said I would never forgive myself if she got sick. She said if she asked, it shouldn’t matter. Said I was trying to control her and said do you want to go out or not. I said not to another city but we could get together. She angrily said fine, bye, then held the phone for several minutes and I didn’t say anything and she hung up. I thought that was childish and I guess I called her bluff so she hung up. Now she’s not speaking to me and I know she’s very stressed because she gets stressed so easily and it’s not good for her. I haven’t called though. I went by her house and she went out on her own so I knew she was somewhat ok. She tells me how I feel so I’m always trying to seem fine so she doesn’t go on about I’m tired or feeling bad or in a bad mood. She tells me what I do wrong, decisions I make are ridiculous. I bought gifts to help with hearing aids, etc and she threw it at me because it made her feel old, I guess. She does it like she’s kidding but she’s not. I’m moving to another state and she needs to go because there’s no one else she’ll let help her. At times, I’m the best thing in the world and she says she doesn’t know what she’d do without me and I know she loves me but she hates being old and needing someone to help her. She plans to move with me but wants to build and has no credit, has a house to sell, etc. Makes it very complicated but the pressure is all on me to make it work. She’ll probably say she’s not moving now since she’s mad. I do have siblings but she’s estranged from my sister and wouldn’t ask my brother to do things like she does me and he wouldn’t want to. I understand feeling helpless and lonely at times but I do everything for her. Why would she so easily get so angry at me or take it out on me anyway? It’s going to be a huge deal when we talk. She’ll be extremely upset snd she might have misunderstood something I said with her hearing so bad. She did once and after days of stewing, she accused me of saying something I’d never say to her and it took a lot to make her believe she was mistaken (or say she must be). I should have gotten the benefit of the doubt. How she could have thought the worst of me is beyond me. I’ve never talked bad to her. I try to tell her things to help with diabetes and she starts shaking her head no mid sentence or raising her hand to speak (ridiculous) and she’s grinning and says when did you get your medical license. I try to get her to take care of poa, will etc and she thinks because she’s written it down and witnessed so she says it’s taken care of but I’m not so sure but regardless, she says she’ll be dead so it won’t bother her. We can deal with it. I think that’s hateful! She’s usually a loving person but was treated like crap by my father and maybe that’s why she’s doing scared someone’s going to tell her what to go. I’m a wreck tho and have problems of my own to deal with. I love her and want to be there for her but I feel like her doormat at times and on a pedestal at other times. How should I handle? If I’m being too sensitive, tell me, please. I’m scared if I tell her this stuff, she’ll get stressed and have a stroke or something. I have a similar situation with my sister so I keep that all in too and I’m going to explode. Sorry so long.