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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Dr put her on a pill to take at night. It’s to make her hungry and put weight on. She just wants to go back to bed. We are worried she is starving herself.
It is time for you to place your mother in the best residential care setting you can find for her.
You and your husband deserve to live together, and take care of each other.
Your mother is behaving inappropriately because she has dementia. Her behavior will not improve, and she will continue to need more and more care.
You will need to find out if she is eligible for Medicare, or if she has assets to fund the care she needs. You may also need to consult a lawyer unless you already have her POA.
If someone refuses to eat she cannot be “made” to eat without causing serious problems to both you and your mother.
It may be helpful for you to contact her doctor and let her know what is happening if he is willing to talk to you. If she has not had an evaluation for dementia, she needs one right away.
Suggest to your husband that it’s no use trying to convince her of anything. Her brain is broken and she can’t hear well. He will not be able to change her by explaining to her or talking to her.
I hope you are able to get help from the doctor for your very difficult situation.
Sounds like MIL has dementia, if she has not been diagnosed as such you / your husband should get her to a Neurologist. Her brain is not sending the signal that she is hungry. You can not "force" her to eat And if placed in Memory Care they can not "force" her to eat either. You can encourage her to eat. Start offering high calorie foods. Drinks like Boost, Ensure, Premier and many of the others are good supplemental drinks if she is not eating meals. Is the reason she is only taking 1 or 2 bites because she is having a problem swallowing? If so mincing food, pureeing food might help. BUT you have another hurdle. How to reestablish the proper relationship between you, your husband and MIL? Discuss with the doctor what is going on, medications might help. But your husband should be more assertive. It is very possible that placing MIL in Memory Care would be the best option for you if you want to resume a normal marriage. Part of what you describe sleeping more,. eating less is very common with dementia and eventually it will lead to EOL (End of Life) You might want to get Hospice in to help. A nurse will come weekly, a CNA will come 2 or 3 times a week to bathe, dress, change bedding and order supplies. You would also get the equipment and supplies that are needed to care for her.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Just read your profile. You have more than nutrition to be concerned about!
Speak with her doctor. Sounds like she needs meds adjusted.
You and your husband deserve to live together, and take care of each other.
Your mother is behaving inappropriately because she has dementia. Her behavior will not improve, and she will continue to need more and more care.
You will need to find out if she is eligible for Medicare, or if she has assets to fund the care she needs. You may also need to consult a lawyer unless you already have her POA.
If someone refuses to eat she cannot be “made” to eat without causing serious problems to both you and your mother.
It may be helpful for you to contact her doctor and let her know what is happening if he is willing to talk to you. If she has not had an evaluation for dementia, she needs one right away.
Suggest to your husband that it’s no use trying to convince her of anything. Her brain is broken and she can’t hear well. He will not be able to change her by explaining to her or talking to her.
I hope you are able to get help from the doctor for your very difficult situation.
Her brain is not sending the signal that she is hungry.
You can not "force" her to eat And if placed in Memory Care they can not "force" her to eat either.
You can encourage her to eat.
Start offering high calorie foods.
Drinks like Boost, Ensure, Premier and many of the others are good supplemental drinks if she is not eating meals.
Is the reason she is only taking 1 or 2 bites because she is having a problem swallowing? If so mincing food, pureeing food might help.
BUT you have another hurdle.
How to reestablish the proper relationship between you, your husband and MIL? Discuss with the doctor what is going on, medications might help. But your husband should be more assertive.
It is very possible that placing MIL in Memory Care would be the best option for you if you want to resume a normal marriage.
Part of what you describe sleeping more,. eating less is very common with dementia and eventually it will lead to EOL (End of Life)
You might want to get Hospice in to help. A nurse will come weekly, a CNA will come 2 or 3 times a week to bathe, dress, change bedding and order supplies. You would also get the equipment and supplies that are needed to care for her.
https://www.virtualhospice.ca/en_US/Main+Site+Navigation/Home/Topics/Topics/Final+Days/When+Death+is+Near.aspx
I'm not saying this is definitely where you are but it is something to keep in mind.