He has started habits that concern me, such as spitting out his food and today he spit all meds out. How do I cope with things that are uncommon to him as he was before and adjust to this new normal? I am the only one caring for him. Sometimes I just don’t know what to do. He’s very stubborn and I have to work around that.
Also finding a local caregiver support group can be very helpful as well. You can Google to see if there is one in your area. That's how I found the one that I have been apart of for the last 3 1/2 years, and it literally saved my life when I was caring for my husband. Being able to share with others that are going through the same or similar things as you, is life changing for sure. Most of course are still meeting on Zoom, but that is better than nothing.
Make sure that you're taking care of yourself as well, as you're just as important as he is. And if that means hiring someone to come in to stay with him a few days so you can get out and about, please do that.
And as far as him spitting out his medications, perhaps ask his Dr. if any of them come in liquid form that you can put in his drinks, or if any of them can be crushed and put in his liquids, as he may be having some swallowing issues, which can be a common issue with someone with Alzheimer's/dementia as the brain forgets how to tell the throat to close causing the food/liquids to go into the lungs instead of the stomach, and that can cause aspiration pneumonia.
It's a lot, I know. So the best thing you can do for yourself at this point, is educate yourself, so you feel better prepared when the changes come, and guaranteed they will.
I wish you strength and peace for your journey.
Others ask the doctor or pharmacy if they come in another form. Patches, liquid and suppository are all common ways to administer meds.
The spitting. I had that happen often. Sometimes I thought it was a texture thing there were other times when I think my Husband just didn't know how to swallow and instead of going down it would go out. Then the next mouthful would be fine.
(with dementia sometimes it is anyones guess as to what is going on)
It isn't possible for us to diagnose this w/o a qualified medical person, but that might be why he's spitting out food and medicine.
And you need to have a break. Try to find someone that can sit with him for one afternoon a week. A few hours will do wonders, it helps your mental health and makes you a better caregiver in the long run.
I wish you peace and love on your journey.
Might I suggest that he may benefit from a swallowing evaluation - a referral can be made by his doctor. A certified physical therapist will have him swallow food and fluids of different consistencies as well as evaluate his swallowing. The therapist can then give you recommendations on how to adjust his food so it is easily swallowed and any movement problems that must be addressed.
Take advantage of any ways you can learn and gain some "How To" ideas. Deal with each behavior as it shows up. There is no one right way to solve each problem. Maybe you will be the one to figure out techniques that will help others.
As bizarre as some of your husband's behaviors may seem, they come from his declining ability to interact with the world in the way you are both used to. Be as open minded and creative as you can be.
Knowledge is power. The book The 36 Hour Day is set up a bit like that old standby Dr. Spock for child raising. You can look up a topic and get all sorts of helpful info.
And don't forget to be kind to yourself. Arrange to have a day each week for you to get away and rewind. It could be read a good book at the library, lunch with friends, a walk in the woods, visit a myseum...anything. it will be a priceless gift to yourself to recharge.
Best of luck in these trying times.