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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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You're burned out when your own health or personal care starts to suffer. You're burned out when, in the unlikely event that you're offered a break, you find that you cannot truly "take a break." You're burned out when you're yelling/snapping at people you truly love but who have nothing to do with the caregiving situation (I am specifically thinking of young children, but could apply to others as well). You're burned out when you secretly wish something bad would happen to you so that you don't have to do caregiving anymore (I used to wish for an emergency trip to the hosp where I could stay for at least a few days and not have to be a caregiver). This is not a complete list. If I think of more, I'll add them. Others will have ideas as well. Thanks for posting about this very important issue. I believe I was burned out and still have not bounced back years later, so it is something that really does matter and I'm sorry you're so exhausted right now.
I also agree with ZippyZee. You don't give any details on your profile, like who you're caring for, what is their cognitive condition/physical health, how long, what state you're living in, if you're living with the person, etc.
If you are the DPoA for your LO and they have a medical diagnosis of dementia, I would start researching options. - adult daycare - facilities - in-home agency aids
If your LO has meager finances, I would contact social services for their county (online at the Dept of Health and Human Services) to have them come and do an in-home needs assessment to see if they qualify for any help. It won't be full time but it'd probably be better than what's going on now. You can ask them about Medicaid for your LO.
If you're not the DPoA and your LO has dementia you can work with county social services for them to gain guardianship. This may be trickier if your LO lives in your home, but less so if you live in theirs (since you can leave).
If your LO requires a trip to the ER any time in the future you may have an opportunity to have them go directly into a facility but would require you being preemptive to insist they are an "unsafe discharge" and there's no one at the home to care for them.
These are just some very basic ideas of how you can rescue yourself from the caregiving burden -- we would need much more detail from you in order to give more specific and appropriate suggestions. There's a lot that can or can't happen based on what's going on in your situation.
You can also contact your local area's Agency on Aging for resources and information, or contact a large local church (any church) even if you're not a member, and ask if they have any programs for seniors and caregivers (like adult day care) or a Care Ministry, where you may be able to find some volunteers to come in to give you a break. However, do not rely on this as a permanent solution as all churches struggle with the revolving door of volunteers who are not as committed as paid staff.
May you find what you need and gain rest and peace.
You know that you have burnout when you've "been doing this for so long and am just tired and don't want to do it anymore." It's as simple as that. Please make sure you are taking care of yourself, and if needed look into placing your LO in the appropriate facility, so you don't end up in the statistics where the caregiver dies before the one being cared for.
Let's change the words "Don't want to ..." to " just can't " ! Often it not a matter of not wanting to - it's a matter of "I can't " . Long Distance runners have a thing called "HITTING THE WALL" . A point where they want to finish the race, but collapse because they have exhausted ever ounce of "want to" they have ! I've been a 24/7/365 caregiver for my wife for 7 hears ! Since 2014 she's had 3 back surgeries , 3 knee surgeries ( staph infection after the first ! ). Revision knee surgery after the staff and a fall which broke her ankle on the same leg as knee surgery ! She's completely non ambulatory - and now , to top it off , just diagnosed with bladder cancer ♋️ . We've been married for 60 years ! Love her dearly ! There are many times ( especially during the night " when I "can't " sneaks into my thoughts - but I get up and "go" help ... when you run out of fuel it's the love that keeps you going !
How do you know? Your statement that follows your question is probably Webster's short and sweet definition of burn out. If you have no family members to offer you some relief, the tired part just gets more tired. Good luck to you.
People can change jobs for a variety of reasons. Being tired doesn't necessarily mean burnout (to me), although I see some here think so.
I think the question is deeper and it requires you to go inside and feel what is going on 'with you.'
* I do believe that many caregivers who use the word 'burnout' have complex physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental manifestations - be it exhausting, overwhelm, inability to focus, no-low energy, anxiety, depression, gaining/losing weight, addictive behavior, and come out in any number of ways: crying, anger, resentment to name a few.
Many people feel and/or are stuck due to costs. Are you caring for a family member or others?
Do you set boundaries or time for yourself to renew / re-energize. Many 'thrown' into this work do not know how to take care of their self. They never thought about it, esp women.
* This work is hard and people burnout. As do fire/men-and-women, nurses, and anyone else in life threatening and/or helping fields.
* I believe some people are so 'on' for so long that they 'try' to numb out how they feel and just keep going - although it will catch up with you. We cannot run on empty. Our physical and mental health will be affected if we do not take care of ourself and find some balance.
It takes a lot of physical ability (in a variety of ways - moving/assisting a person, cleaning, shopping, making a bed - and more); it takes patience and understanding of what dementia is and how to respond.
My question to you is: Why are you asking us? If you are tired and don't want to do it anymore, s-t-o-p. I presume you may be asking us because you might not be able to stop for a variety of reasons - ? let us know more about your situation. You do not indicate whether you can or cannot 'stop' nor mention any of the extenuating circumstances of your work, or (how your) personal life (is affected).
You might want to consider therapy and delving into what is going on inside you with a professional.
Meditate. Sit and ask yourself how you feel inside or as I would do, Ask your inside to talk to you. And, you sitting in the chair and quietly 'listen.' Profound insight may present itself to you.
Can you give yourself a vacation or at least some breaks? Can you get aides to help you with the caregiving? Get connected with a local social worker so that you know all of your options. All the best to you!
If you ask "How do I know if I have caregiver burnout?," then you are burn out. Start looking into respite options so you can have a little "time off" from caregiving. During your time off, evaluate if your loved one has reached the point of needing professional 24/7/365 care. The sad fact is that most caregivers don't realize that their have needs that must be met as well as the needs of those they care for.
If you have been caregiving for so long, are very tired and don't want to do it anymore, then it's time to stop. But you may not be able to simply stop caregiving if you're doing so for a loved one. These matters aren't always so easy, or so cut and dried that you can just walk away. Since you don't provide any details, it's hard to give you advice, really.
You may be burned out, you may need a new job if you're caregiving professionally, you may need to get your loved one into managed care or respite for a few weeks if that's applicable.
Life is short, that much we know for certain. Try to figure out how to make YOURSELF happy and content, and what it will require, then set about doing it, if possible, one step at a time.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If you are the DPoA for your LO and they have a medical diagnosis of dementia, I would start researching options.
- adult daycare
- facilities
- in-home agency aids
If your LO has meager finances, I would contact social services for their county (online at the Dept of Health and Human Services) to have them come and do an in-home needs assessment to see if they qualify for any help. It won't be full time but it'd probably be better than what's going on now. You can ask them about Medicaid for your LO.
If you're not the DPoA and your LO has dementia you can work with county social services for them to gain guardianship. This may be trickier if your LO lives in your home, but less so if you live in theirs (since you can leave).
If your LO requires a trip to the ER any time in the future you may have an opportunity to have them go directly into a facility but would require you being preemptive to insist they are an "unsafe discharge" and there's no one at the home to care for them.
These are just some very basic ideas of how you can rescue yourself from the caregiving burden -- we would need much more detail from you in order to give more specific and appropriate suggestions. There's a lot that can or can't happen based on what's going on in your situation.
You can also contact your local area's Agency on Aging for resources and information, or contact a large local church (any church) even if you're not a member, and ask if they have any programs for seniors and caregivers (like adult day care) or a Care Ministry, where you may be able to find some volunteers to come in to give you a break. However, do not rely on this as a permanent solution as all churches struggle with the revolving door of volunteers who are not as committed as paid staff.
May you find what you need and gain rest and peace.
It's as simple as that. Please make sure you are taking care of yourself, and if needed look into placing your LO in the appropriate facility, so you don't end up in the statistics where the caregiver dies before the one being cared for.
I've been a 24/7/365 caregiver for my wife for 7 hears !
Since 2014 she's had 3 back surgeries , 3 knee surgeries ( staph infection after the first ! ). Revision knee surgery after the staff and a fall which broke her ankle on the same leg as knee surgery ! She's completely non ambulatory - and now , to top it off , just diagnosed with bladder cancer ♋️ . We've been married for 60 years ! Love her dearly ! There are many times ( especially during the night " when I "can't " sneaks into my thoughts - but I get up and "go" help ... when you run out of fuel it's the love that keeps you going !
I think the question is deeper and it requires you to go inside and feel what is going on 'with you.'
* I do believe that many caregivers who use the word 'burnout' have complex physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental manifestations - be it exhausting, overwhelm, inability to focus, no-low energy, anxiety, depression, gaining/losing weight, addictive behavior, and come out in any number of ways: crying, anger, resentment to name a few.
Many people feel and/or are stuck due to costs.
Are you caring for a family member or others?
Do you set boundaries or time for yourself to renew / re-energize.
Many 'thrown' into this work do not know how to take care of their self. They never thought about it, esp women.
* This work is hard and people burnout. As do fire/men-and-women, nurses, and anyone else in life threatening and/or helping fields.
* I believe some people are so 'on' for so long that they 'try' to numb out how they feel and just keep going - although it will catch up with you. We cannot run on empty. Our physical and mental health will be affected if we do not take care of ourself and find some balance.
It takes a lot of physical ability (in a variety of ways - moving/assisting a person, cleaning, shopping, making a bed - and more); it takes patience and understanding of what dementia is and how to respond.
My question to you is: Why are you asking us?
If you are tired and don't want to do it anymore, s-t-o-p.
I presume you may be asking us because you might not be able to stop for a variety of reasons - ? let us know more about your situation.
You do not indicate whether you can or cannot 'stop' nor mention any of the extenuating circumstances of your work, or (how your) personal life (is affected).
You might want to consider therapy and delving into what is going on inside you with a professional.
Meditate. Sit and ask yourself how you feel inside or as I would do, Ask your inside to talk to you. And, you sitting in the chair and quietly 'listen.' Profound insight may present itself to you.
Gena / Touch Matters
You may be burned out, you may need a new job if you're caregiving professionally, you may need to get your loved one into managed care or respite for a few weeks if that's applicable.
Life is short, that much we know for certain. Try to figure out how to make YOURSELF happy and content, and what it will require, then set about doing it, if possible, one step at a time.
GOOD LUCK!