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You have this friend - friend? - living in your house. You have been his caregiver since 2016, and continence has been an issue for a long time. You say he has fired three agencies because their workers/aides have tried to bully him verbally into accepting care: "state the law to him about the spread of disease and infections," as you put it.
First ,,,THEY HAVE NOT BULLIED HIM ,and it is the LAW removal of feces from the skin and living environment,ETC>> walking stepping in it air born pathogens bio-hazard ..urine is one thing ...Feces is another matter..He is on meds for the incontince urologist trying for 0 days not working ,Nurses have said, He is capable to walk some but refuses to get up and VOID in the toilet
If he has tried all the bladder medications available with no luck, his urologist can try putting botox in his bladder, as that has been shown to be successful in some instances. And if that doesn't help he can have a supra pubic catheter put in(which is a permanent catheter), and then you will only have to empty his bag a couple times a day, and he won't be sitting on his urine.
As far as him pooping, first I hope he's wearing some kind of adult diaper, and secondly, you might want to try putting a bedside commode right next to where he sits, so he doesn't have to travel far, when he does have to go. And having an aide coming to help him would of course be helpful too, even if he doesn't want help.
And if none of that works, then perhaps it's time to part company. You certainly shouldn't be putting yourself in harms way. Good luck.
Done all of this and had his doctor bring in home health care from hospital and he FIRED THEM,Family has been informed my speaking and i sent EMail to his sister which has his P.O,A. i also informed her i was not able or capable of tending to him any further....Guess what NO RESP ONCE
There is obviously more to the story here than what is in your profile. (Countrymouse how did you get the other info?) You have few options. If he will not allow an assistant, caregiver or other help then you will have to clean him, change him and change bedding or absorbent pads on furniture. Or Tell him if he wants to continue living in your house he will have to permit help that will come in, change him, clean him and do light housecleaning for his care. If he does not agree to these conditions I would tell him that he has to leave. Find Assisted Living (or Memory Care) that would be appropriate. Or if he has relatives he could move in with them. You might want to contact your local Area Agency on Aging for referrals and help
No there is not moe to the story ,,HE REFUSES end of story fired home health care from HOSPITAL,I am more tham aware of changing his bed and any where he sit touches ...Oh trust me even had social services here and he fired them also....He needs neurologist..
When I worked in Elder Care, fecal incontinence was a absolute deal breaker. I had a DH at home who had just had a liver transplant and I was NOT bringing home some awful virus/bacteria.
Our company did pretty good training in changing out a client who refused or was unable to control the bowels. You really need quite a bit of room to move around in--esp if the person is a 2 person transfer.
Is he aware of what a diffifcult situation you've put him in? Is he capable of understanding?
Like with babies--feces sitting next to the skin for very long will cause irritation and breakdown of the skin. And 'diaper rash' in an elderly person actually comes on much more quickly--thin skin and more foods to cause irritation.This isn't one of the aging issues you can ignore.
HE doesn't care and nor does his family i have sent email and have them confirm they have read and recieved them....Document everything ,Next step new appt with doctor and get referall with neurologist check for Dementian ...
I don’t know his backstory as to his physical condition but assuming he can still follow simple commands I would get him involved in making him participate getting on and off a toilet or commode as a daily exercise. Try to get him on some sort of routine. Up and on the commode/toilet at 9a, 3pm, etc. Change pull ups and inspect his skin.
If this doesn’t work perhaps hire someone 3 mornings a week to assist. M
If he still can’t change his habits or awareness of sitting in a soiled pull up for hours consider LTC where they will establish the routine which will include a change of pull ups and a skin inspection.
If this continues he will develop skin breakdown which is a whole other animal with potentially dire end results.
You can only do your best for him but need to consider what works for you as well as your & draw your own “line in the sand”. Eventually this becomes a situation where no one wins.
Have you told him that his behavior means that he must move?
I am pretty sure that APS will intervene when someone sits in their own waste. Obviously he has a mental deficit or he would not be doing this.
I think that I would call 911 and report that he is a danger to himself and get him baker acted and refuse to bring him back.
That is a deal breaker for me. Having an accident is one thing, willingly pooping your drawers and refusing to clean up, well that means that you need to live somewhere else.
I hope that you can get him help soon. For both of your well being he needs to be hospitalized and then go to a facility.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Why is he incontinent?
As far as him pooping, first I hope he's wearing some kind of adult diaper, and secondly, you might want to try putting a bedside commode right next to where he sits, so he doesn't have to travel far, when he does have to go. And having an aide coming to help him would of course be helpful too, even if he doesn't want help.
And if none of that works, then perhaps it's time to part company. You certainly shouldn't be putting yourself in harms way. Good luck.
ONCE
(Countrymouse how did you get the other info?)
You have few options.
If he will not allow an assistant, caregiver or other help then you will have to clean him, change him and change bedding or absorbent pads on furniture.
Or
Tell him if he wants to continue living in your house he will have to permit help that will come in, change him, clean him and do light housecleaning for his care.
If he does not agree to these conditions I would tell him that he has to leave. Find Assisted Living (or Memory Care) that would be appropriate. Or if he has relatives he could move in with them.
You might want to contact your local Area Agency on Aging for referrals and help
Our company did pretty good training in changing out a client who refused or was unable to control the bowels. You really need quite a bit of room to move around in--esp if the person is a 2 person transfer.
Is he aware of what a diffifcult situation you've put him in? Is he capable of understanding?
Like with babies--feces sitting next to the skin for very long will cause irritation and breakdown of the skin. And 'diaper rash' in an elderly person actually comes on much more quickly--thin skin and more foods to cause irritation.This isn't one of the aging issues you can ignore.
Good Luck with 'the talk'.
In a facility setting, aides just get it done - by trickery, distraction or by just outnumbering.
Does this friend suffer from a dementia or mental illness?
As Country Mouse asked - is this a new thing? Has there been a medical review of behaviour/health/meds lately?
Up and on the commode/toilet at 9a, 3pm, etc. Change pull ups and inspect his skin.
If this doesn’t work perhaps hire someone 3 mornings a week to assist. M
If he still can’t change his habits or awareness of sitting in a soiled pull up for hours consider LTC where they will establish the routine which will include a change of pull ups and a skin inspection.
If this continues he will develop skin breakdown which is a whole other animal with potentially dire end results.
You can only do your best for him but need to consider what works for you as well as your & draw your own “line in the sand”. Eventually this becomes a situation where no one wins.
I am pretty sure that APS will intervene when someone sits in their own waste. Obviously he has a mental deficit or he would not be doing this.
I think that I would call 911 and report that he is a danger to himself and get him baker acted and refuse to bring him back.
That is a deal breaker for me. Having an accident is one thing, willingly pooping your drawers and refusing to clean up, well that means that you need to live somewhere else.
I hope that you can get him help soon. For both of your well being he needs to be hospitalized and then go to a facility.