Currently my youngest sister is taking advantage of my mother's mental state financially, and emotionally turning my mother against all her kids. My sister is not giving my mother the medical attention she needs, not preparing enough food for her to eat during the week. I'm spending money on food delivery in between my mother not having any food. My mother is not being properly bathed and had at least three urinary track infections that I know of. My sister has placed a block on my mother home phone so other siblings can not easily reach her. My sister has successful convinced my mother that one of my bothers is trying to kill her. My mother has two security bars, one on the front door and the other on the back door. Both security bars have deadbolts on them. My mother misplaced the key to the front bars and my sister convinced my mother that my brother stole the key. So the only point of egress my mother has is the back door. This is clearly a fire hazard. My sister doesn't live with my mother but comes over a few times a week and definitely by the first of the month when my mother gets her social security check. Currently my elderly uncle lives with my mother but my sister is currently working on my mother's mind to get my uncle out of the house. My sister is trying to isolate my mother so she can continue to take advantage of my mother. I need to get my mother out of this environment. My mother won't submit to a medical evaluation to determine if she has Alzheimer's or not, but I'm sure she does, she exhibits all the symptoms. Can I go to court seeking guardianship with a doctor's evaluation. My mother's life and well being is in danger. Can someone offer me some advice ?
You can contact Social Services. You can claim that your Mom is, in your opinion, suffering from dementia, but refuses diagnosis. You can tell them that you believe her to be controlled by your sister, living in an unhealthy and unsafe environment, and possibly being abused financially and mentally. Ask them to open a case on her. THAT is about the best you can do.
Going to court? How much money do you have. A battle for an undiagnosed adult will be stopped at the starting gate. A battle for a diagnosed person will be about 10K. 10,000 that is. Often the Judge, forced into the role of Solomon, chooses to give guardianship to the state, in which case a Fiduciary is hired, paid, and will handle everything without family input.
What are your plans when you are guardian. Are you aware of the meticulous record keeping, appointments, care in home you will be doing on an unsafe diagnosed adult? Are you doing this care or placing your Mom? Will there be continued dissention with the family?
Family fighting over an incompetent adult NEVER goes well. Try to turn it around.
Consider mediate.com for a directory of mediators, or APFnet.org (academy of professional family mediators or ACRnet.org (assn. for conflict resolutions) to ask for help if Sister would be cooperative in your working together for your Mom.
I am afraid I have no answer for you but hopes of mediation with the sister on care for Mom and cooperation in getting her diagnosed.
I woukd suggest that you call Adult Protection Services concerning both Mom and Uncle as vulnerable adults. Lets them do an investigation. If its found that you are correct, then u can go from their asking APS to help you. I would first allow the State to take over the care of the Uncle. One less worry for you. Make sure you are firm that you cannot personally care for him or take him into your home. They will tell you there is help out there, but its very hard to get.
Does sister have POA? Yes, you can get guardianship but Mom has to be found not able to handle her own affairs. With guardianship you will have more controll but be aware its not cheap. A judge has to allow it and then you need to be accountable for everything. You will report to the State yearly.
Be aware that sometimes our parents with dementia (or not) try to instigate dissent between siblings so that the siblings don't get together and agree on a change needed for the parent.
Find out who has the contract for the local Area Agency on Aging in mom's part of Brooklyn. 311 can give you this information. Contact them and ask for a "needs assessment" and go from there.
Guardianship is expensive to pursue. And mom if considered competent you will not find an attorney to represent you.
What you need is an impartial, unbiased opinion. As Barb suggested, call the Area Agency on Aging to see if they will check in with mom to do an assessment.
Financial exploitation? Mom lives alone? Brother lives with her? What pays for mom's day to day needs? Who is paying bills and running necessary errands?
How do you know she had Alzheimer's if she has not been diagnosed by a doctor?
An Elder Care Attorney is going to want the statement by a doctor before they continue with any case.
You could contact APS for an evaluation. If they find that she can not get out of the house in an emergency they may contact the Fire Department and report it as a Code Violation.
APS would also determine if there is food, a clean and safe place to live.