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My mom who is 89 just had a stroke that left her no movement on her right side and aphasia. We also just found out recently that she has an enlarged heart and COPD. All early stage. Because she can't say much I can't tell if her dementia is active or if she's lucid. However, the worst is that we can't seem to get her to eat. I'm worried for her. This is the first time she's not been living with me in 11 years. I think she's depressed. Any suggestions?

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For some reason or another, strokes ( ischemic) appear to attack the left side of the brain, therefore, the patient experiences loss of movement on the right side of the limbs......hands and legs. Physical therapy is needed to "work" the right sided limbs and hands so that they will not atrophy. Now as far as speech is concerned, you can have speech therapy also, and it will do some good FOR AWHILE/... then unfortunately, the patient will not want to speak, not because of depression, but because it will take too much of an effort to do so. Then, she won't be able to speak. This is a long way off yet. Hand gesturing is very important. You can set up your own "signals" between the two of you, or you can use the standard ASL. Pointing is very important too. Please pray for stroke victims......now, and at the hour of their death, amen.
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Depression is a likely problem here. Your anxiety is understandable as you are used to her living with you and now you don't have that constant contact.

So much depends on the stage of each disease. Are other organs in her body shutting down so she doesn't want food? Or is she not eating because it's too difficult (likely) and food doesn't appeal to her?

Liquid nutritional supplements are often used during this stage. Also, puddings, jello and fruits are light and can sometimes be taken. Does she choke? She may be afraid to try eating if she chokes.

I would try to figure out what is behind her not wanting food, however in her case it is likely several things. Talking with her doctor and the dietician at the facility are good ideas. There may be ways to temp her and foods which work for her. Forcing her will only backfire. Everyone needs to encourage without forcing, and give her as much liquid as she'll take.

It's distressing when we want our loved ones to eat and they won't. Finding out why they won't eat is important. When someone is nagged too much it just upsets them and then they are less likely to want food.

Remember that hydration is the most important thing for her. If her situation qualifies for hospice care, you may want to look into that. A good hospice has great understanding of the stages of these diseases. If she is in an earlier stage of all the diseases than that, then working with a therapist and a dietician may help.


Take care,
Carol
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get a hourly or live in caregiver to attend to her needs, what locations are you at?
you should check your local area for more information.
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It seems she has a UTI and it seems to have increased her dementia. The doctor has put her on antibiotics and we're hoping that will help. As far as her other organs, she does have early stage heart failure but medication is helping her heart pump better and Lasiks are keeping the fluids off her lungs. Her blood pressure is good, her pulse and heartrate are good, her pulse oxygen is 96% - there was no bleeding in the brain with the stroke - everything else is working fine. So she isn't imminently terminal and if she eats and engages in her physio, she could recover some speech and movement. She does say a words now and then in response to situations, remembers names and says them sometimes and has said yes & no. The last time she was in hospital a few years ago she was very down and wouldn't move or try to speak. When we told her that they needed the bed and she had to get moving, she miraculously walked again and came home for another four years. After she came home she said that she thought I had taken her to a "mental" hospital and was just leaving her there. I think that's what's happening now. Right after the stroke she was alert and trying to feed herself using her left hand. But now she seems very down and non responsive.
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The UTI explains a lot. Infections in people with other health issues, and dementia on top of it, can cause confusion and certainly lack of appetite. I hope the antibiotics help her. This is quite common. Sometimes the UTI goes undetected for a long time because the person can't articulate what is wrong or may not even feel any symptoms, but the infection causes havoc with the body.
Carol
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When my mother did not want to eat one thing that worked was to cut up the food into small pieces and put on a serving plate that she could take what she wanted to also she would use crarnation instant breakfast which is cheaper than ensure and if she wants to skip some meals that is alright you need to keep it low keyed sometimes puddings will taste good to someone who has a lack of appetite.
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I am having the same problem with my Mom. She had a relatively minor stroke (right side, affects the left) then, few weeks later, a heart attack and they placed two stents. She basically stopped eating after the stroke and after the heart attack she was way over medicated and wound up in the hospital again. She has lost almost 30 pounds since the stroke at the end of November. I was hoping that the meds were causing loss of appetite, nausea, etc. but the weird thing is that she wants to eat but can't stand stand the feel of food in her mouth! I think maybe one (or more )of the meds caused a bad taste and she developed an aversion. Has anyone ever heard of or had this experience?
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List your meds, one by one and go to the pharmacist who dispenses them. Ask about the side effects of each one and you can determine which med (s) is the culprit that MAY cause loss of appetite.
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My mother had her second stroke weak ago. She is 77 years old. She doesn't want to eat anything. We try the ensure, but she spills it out. She drinks water some. Her first stroke was mild. She was eating and almost time for her to walk in no time until her second stroke hits her. :(((((((((((
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The second stroke is usually worse (Ischemic). You may wish to try (for now) a mechanical diet ( mushy), but always be available for some changes.
Regarding the medical condition: Be sure to ask if the stroke was a result of A-Fib without heart valve involvement. Coumadin/Warfarin will help, of course, but a new drug, called Pradaxa may be more helpful.
A must: Listen to the chest every day for any changes , and check pulse-ox for any reading below 90.
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my father, age 79, just had a small stroke two weeks ago. He is doing better and is in a rehab facility, but he wont eat. We cant really get too much out of him as he gets agitated at getting asked a lot of questions. I know he has always been stubborn but i am really worried because he doesnt even eat the equivalent of a full meal thru out the day. He does have a bit of a tremor so it's hard for him to hold a utensil, so i am sure that some of this is frustration on his part? Any ideas?
thanks
Paul
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Yes, he can eat if you feed him like a baby. Put the utensil in your own hand, and feed him . He may refuse at first, but try coaxing him. Use a spoon or a small fork. Try very small portions and soft food, such as mashed potatoes, crabcakes, chopped pasta, applesauce, no chunky foods.
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Have them do a swollowing study a dietician can do a basic on and if needed a another can be done and liquid noursement can also be given
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Hello Everyone

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I have read through them trying to find answers to my own situation with my mother. She is 89 and had a stroke to the left side of her brain about 5 weeks ago. The medical staff have made the decision to re-introduce food but wont eat. Similar experiences, will only take a few spoons, spits it out or becomes distressed. My fear is that is she does not eat she will die. Any ideas, support or experience of this is greatly appreciated. My thoughts and prayers are will you all.

Andrea
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Have you discussed a feeding tube with her primary M.D. it could be a consideration at this point.
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Yes, she has had a feeding tube in for about three weeks but this is not something the medical team will consider long term. So currently she is still receiving some nutrition through eh feeding tube at night night and we trying to encourage "normal" eating (pureed food) during the day, so far without much success. Thanks for your response
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my mum had a massive stroke last year to her right side ,after three months she began to walk again with the help of a walking frame.she still continues to have speech therapy twice a week and can manage to get some words out like yes /no and can slightly repeat some words ,the struggle with speech is so hard, but the non eating out ways it all mum has lost 11kilo and refusing to eat and is hardley drinking at all :(

drinker
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My dad is 80 yrs old. Had a stroke that affected the left side brain and frontal and also has blockage on rt side. He has a DNR that request no nutrition (feeding tube). He is paralyzed on the rt side. How long can he survive? He is home on hospice now.
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Stroke victims are extremely susceptible to undernourishment. The patient who has suffered an ischemic stroke which usually affects the left side of the brain (first), will have to be taught to use his left hand. (Right side brain functioning has diminished).
Start with a handled cup, let him hold it with both hands like a baby. Then, transfer the cup and other utensils, to his right hand. This is a long process. Pureed foods are recommended for swallow-impairement. Always do this with a smile and good cheer. Patient may respond well to positive attitudes and happy faces around him.
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my mom had a stroke last Dec 2013. Well actually I think it was the 3rd, but this one was something big. The Dec 2013 attack put her on a wheelchair, and needed physical assistance in almost everything; bathing, eating, drinking, changing her clothes. We hired 2 people to assist her 24/7. Three week ago she had a seizure again, which put her in the hospital ICU for almost 2 weeks. In fact the doctor said, if she could have died if not taken to hospital on time. Now she was discharged from the hospital, but now needed even more care and assistance than before. As if she can no longer speak, she hardly moves, looks very weak and frail, and always sleeping. Worst, she refuses to eat. Sometimes she eats, but very very little, like 2 spoons of food. We bough Ensure, but totally refuses that too. She also refuses medicine most of the time. She accepts water at times. Being 79 years old, it is very worrying. How can you asses the condition of mom? Thank you so much.
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My mum refuses to eat after a stroke. Sometimes she tries but hates the test. Is thee anything we can do to help her? She is being fed via a tube but we are told this is not a long term option. Occasionally she will eat a few teaspoons of soup or porridge but is too tired to care. Desperate for help!
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I would suggest making nutritional drinks in a vitamix maker or a similar device. Throw in some kale, sweet fruits, milk or some type of juice. Experiment until you find some tasty options for her.
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My mother has had a stroke.She is 92.She is in a resthome.She has not eaten since her stroke 10 days ago and she is also not on anymore of her medications as she cannot swallow.She ison a drip for rehydration (saline - subcutaneous).She cannot talk,but opens her mouth sometimes,so we try and give her some ensure(chocolate which she loves),and she takes a few tips of the spoon and then refuses.We give her water on a sponge.We don't know if we should be sending her to hospital to go on a "food" drip,or if her body is shutting down.Please could you give some advice?
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((Hugs)) to you lorene. I think that she is telling you it is time to let go. What are the nursing home staff and docs telling you? I think that the fact that they have removed her medications is telling, they could find ways to administer them if they felt it would help. Refusing food is common toward the end. I think you should let her have her ensure if she asks for it, but don't force food. Has anyone suggested hospice??
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I so sorry that she's having to struggle and that you're having to make these decisions. It's hard, I know.

At 92, it would seem to me that there's a good chance that your mother's body is shutting down. What I'd ask myself if I were in your place is what kind of life is she having and what kind of life would she be having if she is hospitalized with a feeding tube? She's not likely to live too long either way.

I'll be frank in that I'm a big believer in hospice care. We will all eventually die. As I mentioned above, it's a matter of quality of life and quality of the end-of-life experience. If she is in pain, hospice would give her pain medication. They'd do everything possible to keep her comfortable. If she improved and wanted to eat - and that occasionally happens - they'd give her whatever she wanted.

I hope that you talked about end-of-life wishes with your mother long ago. If not, think about how she handled her own parents' aging and deaths. Think about how she'd want to live whatever life she has left.

Hospice has a chaplain who can help you come to terms with the decisions that you must make if you aren't close to another spiritual leader. They are non-denominational.

Please check back with us and let us know how you are doing.
Carol
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Thank you so much for your very good comments and advice.The Dr has been today and says that there is a decline and we need to keep her comfortable and pain free now.It is very hard watching her going down but I believe her quality of life is more important now than quantity of life.
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My mother had a stroke 4 1/2 years ago,and she has a GE I
teach her to eat again,apple sauce, pudding,sweet potato,fruits,she loves papaya,mango etc.
but now she is constipated and my brothers say that is because I'm giving food
I'am so upset and want to know,if I'm wrong because for mi is a big family problem,answer me pleas
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Both my parents required spoon feeding at one time or another. My dad needed an appetite stimulate and was malnourished due to his albumin levels being off. Neither ever had a stroke. You must be careful when feeding a patient that they are able to swallow as they can aspirate the food And develop aspiration pneumonia and die from that. Go slow. The food may taste good to them or they could simply be responding like a baby bird. They may have an appetite but not be able to swallow or properly digest the food. It's possible you could be feeding them at that point to make yourself feel better. In an effort to keep them we want them to eat and be well. But they can also be too tired or weak to feed themselves. My FIL was tube fed after a head trauma and recovered and lived another 10 years. It makes us felt better when they eat but if they are ready to go it won't keep them here.
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