My father is 89 and continues to drive despite the fact that he has had several accidents. He thinks he's a good driver, denies any fault, and refuses to give up his keys. In the most recent incident he hit a person on a bike and claims he never did although the police report says otherwise. My brother wants to give him an ultimatum which puts my Dad in a position of losing dignity. This doesn't seem to be the way to go. Are there programs out there that can evaluate his driving abilities? Any suggestions?
How do I sound? Brave??? I'll let you know how everything goes on Saturday. I'll probably need a martini afterwards.
If it were me, I would steal the keys and hide the car. Period. No keys? No car? You'll probably be saving a life. His dignity is trumped by the safety of the world at large.
To do nothing is negligent, in my opinion.
It sounds as if you've seen the police report. Was there any indication that a referral would be made to revoke your father's license?
In my state, anonymous complaints can be made which will generate an "invitation" for the driver to appear before the licensing agency for an evaluation, which may or may not result in driver revocation.
Also contact your father's insurance carrier and explain the situation to them. They may cancel his insurance coverage. That should be a wake-up call, but if not, he could be in financial jeopardy if he causes another accident and there are serious physical injuries.
In the meantime, be prepared to step in and take him where he needs to go, either prefacing or following the trip with someplace he likes to go to eat, maybe a movie...someplace enjoyable.
Start a patterning experience that allows him to associate being chauffeured with being treated. That's what I did and it really helped.
If your famly has close relatives for whom he has respect, ask them to raise the issue with him as well. It was the people in my father's church who convinced him not to drive, not me.