Sister uses her position as POA and executor of will to exert complete control over all aspects of mother's care and has done so since father's death. She refused to provide rest of siblings with a copy of the will, or even her POA paperwork. Mother says she does not care who knows the amount of her assets and says we should ask POA sister, "because your sister takes care of all that financial business" but sister refuses to divulge any information and says we are guilty of "elder abuse" for
even asking mother questions about her assets. The non-POA siblings feel we need to know amount of assets in order to plan ahead for possible assisted living or nursing home. Mother is almost 90 years of age, so we feel we need to plan for the possibilities. However, sister with POA (who says she has POA but refuses to
share paperwork proving this) has taken complete control and refuses to share any information. She refused to share a copy of the will after dad died, but another sister was required to have a copy of the will when she got a divorce (her soon to be ex-husband got the court to force the handing over of the will to the ex-
husband, and then that sister had to ask her lawyer for a copy). Therefore I was able to finally get a copy, four years after father's death. POA sister refuses to provide any information to siblings. Is there legal recourse to force transparency? This parent lives in Florida. Another concern is that all 4 living siblings were named in the will as each sharing 25% of assets. However, the last time I visited mother, I found out that the beneficiary ratio has changed that that POA sister talked mother into including a nephew as beneficiary, and now each sibling will receive 20%, with nephew now receiving 20%. That is NOT how father wanted his assets distributed after mother dies. What can non-POA siblings do about this?
Do you think POA is mismanaging the assets? Do you think she is doing something wrong?
If your mother is going to need a care center or even a lot of in-home help, don't count on a big inheritance.
The inheritance, whatever it is (if it is anything) will be distributed as your MOTHER sees fit and designates in her will. (What father might have done if mother had died first and it was his will you are looking at is beside the point.) Do you think POA exerted undue influence in getting her to change her will? Is Mother in her right mind?
It amazes me that the last time you visited Mother the topic of her will just happened to come up. How often do you visit? What is your role in her life?
If you have evidence that POA is financially exploiting her role and/or exerting influence over Mother, then take legal action and get it investigated.
Otherwise, keep in mind that 1) Mother wants this person in charge of her affairs and 2) Mother is entitled to leave her estate as she sees fit, including to a deluxe shelter for homeless cats. Her money, her decision.
Your concerns about the will someone else will need to respond about.
Your sister is bluffing when she says that your are guilty of elder abuse for even asking your mother about her assets.