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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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My husband has dementia. He is sometimes lucid, sometimes not. How long will this go on? Will he get to the point where he no longer remembers anything?
LNorman, when my parents were going through dementia in their late 90's, I noticed a pattern with both of them. Both seem to step into a time machine where they went back to the 1940's, when they were first married. Mom would mention wanting to visit her parents and sibling like there were still around. Dad would talk about his business meetings and having to catch the bus home.
I played along so not to frighten them. And used "therapeutic fibs" when necessary, especially when Mom would ask to visit her parents. I told her her parents were visiting the old country, and that put a smile on her face :)
Dementia varies just as much as people do. Your experience won’t be the exact same as anyone else’s, but I’m a firm believer the person and who they once were is still “in there” and will always have moments of realization and clarity. We may not even catch them as it might be brief
By the end my mom was mostly so lost she couldn't even tell you her own name, but there were also days when she was absolutely "there" - I only saw this because I was with her every day (but pretty much everyone else disbelieved me).
My 100-yr old Aunt with advanced dementia (symptoms apparent since 89) mostly remembered those she was closest to (in her long-term memory) who were still around her (her 2 sisters, her 2 caregiver nieces, and me since she helped raise me) and always seemed most like her "old self" at night when I was putting her to bed. When I was doing her bedtime routine she would grab my hand and pull me in to kiss me and thank me profusely -- no matter how awful things went during the day.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I played along so not to frighten them. And used "therapeutic fibs" when necessary, especially when Mom would ask to visit her parents. I told her her parents were visiting the old country, and that put a smile on her face :)
Some people do that, some don't. Some peoples dementia, just stays at the same stage forever, some decline fast.
There is very little rhyme or reason about any of it. Or anything that science has figured out, as of yet
I'm so sorry about your husband.
I would just advise not to push his lucid moments, that could aggravate him. Just let them come naturally and enjoy them when you get them.
Best of luck. Feel free to ask us anything, anytime