In early spring my mom and I moved dad to a NH, thinking he would go anytime. For many many years he's had acute abdominal pain which could not be diagnosed. Quite a few doctors tried but couldn't find the answer. The NH along with hospice got him on a drug schedule of taking OxyContin every eight hours and another mes for breakthrough pain. He began to get much better. In the meantime, my mom who suffered from advanced COPD, began to quickly decline. After several trips to the ER and a few weeks in a NH, she passed away in a hospice house. We were all with her including my dad. Shortly after her death, dad moved into an assisted living facility. As long as he takes his pain meds he does great. We quickly realized that AL is nothing like the NH. While there is a DON, it seems as if the young women who man the nursing station know very little about nursing which has caused my dad to constantly stress and worry about not getting his pain meds. They have forgotten several times so I can't blame him for worrying. In the last day or so I've noticed him becoming confused and argumentative. He calls several times daily and at night claiming they've either forgot to give him his pain meds or they will forget him. He gets mad at us if we tell him to be patient. I'm an only child so no siblings to help out although I'm lucky to have a super husband who is always there. I'm wondering if we moved him too soon or maybe shouldn't have done so at all. He seems lost and confused all the time. I'd be grateful for any thoughts or opinions.
In our state, Assisted Living staff are required to administer the residents meds. It's not an option for them. The kind your dad is taking is highly guarded.
I would also consider that your dad may have grown accustomed to the med and it does not help as much as it did before. That's the problem with pain meds. He may benefit from seeing a pain specialist. Maybe there is another med that can help more.
I don't think anyone can say if he'll settle down in time or not. Unfortunately you may just have to wait and see. Give him time to get acclimated to the AL. In the meantime try to make things as easy for your dad as you can. If he has complaints about the facility listen to him and then tell him with confidence, "Don't worry about it, dad. I'll take care of it." This is what I did with my dad when he started going downhill a bit. My #1 goal was to keep him calm and stress-free. It was a lot of work on my part but I didn't want my dad to have to worry about anything and from what you wrote I know you feel the same way about your dad. Be reassuring and calm with your dad. Be as patient as you can be (which can be very difficult) but in addition to caring for your dad make sure that you don't make yourself crazy.
And if you realize that your dad's anxiety isn't getting any better you may want to contact the Dr. and ask that your dad be given an antianxiety medication.
2. Before rejecting an AL entirely, check around for others. We've never had someone in anything but SNFs for rehab and one memory care unit, but with the exception of the latter, meds were always timely delivered and administered. Perhaps this AL isn't as diligent.
3. OTOH, perhaps you could spend some more time with him to confirm his statements. It might be true or it might be his imagination.
4. I don't know if the DON would allow it but you could ask to see his med chart administration to confirm whether or not the meds were in fact or not timely administered.
5. Others here will hopefully offer information on whether staff at the nursing stations need to be medically qualified. I don't know. But if they should be and aren't, I definitely would begin to look elsewhere.
6. However, you do mention that his drug regimen was worked out between a nursing home and hospice, so I'm wondering if his medical condition has worsened. When's the last time he saw his medical team? You might want to also have a nice chat with the doctors at the AL, if there are any on staff (as stated, I don't have much experience with AL facilities). But also see his regular treating physicians for an update - there might have been changes that the AL didn't diagnose.
Good luck; this can be so frustrating while you're trying to resolve problems that cause so much distress.