Hi everyone...new to the group and look forward to sharing, offering and giving comfort to all of you!! We are about 5 years into dementia. So my question is: anyone have this issue? Dad, although still tending to his bathroom needs mostly alone, sometimes mom does find him calling for her only to walk in on a bit of a mess!!! So, into the shower he goes as she gets busy sanitizing and cleaning up after him. He is using wads of TP and it is becoming quite a frequent occurrence that the toilet is filling all the way up and almost over the top. Mom freaking out..any thoughts on how we can eliminate or reduce this overuse? Thought we had the answer with a bidet seat, which would be amazing, but he won’t know how to use but, like a child, will play with buttons and wind up breaking it!!! Now..mom plans on taking empty rolls and every morning, twirling 5 or 6 sheets around the end of roll and let him call for her if he needs more!!! Plumber there every two minutes due to clogging!!! Also thought about the disposable wipes but plumber says...they are def not good for septic system even thought it says that are ok to flush!!! Ugh...help if anyone has any good ideas for us!!!
The mess is bad enough - disheartening and exhausting, and always happens at exactly the wrong time, your poor mother. But the far more serious risk, and the justification for encroaching (though as little as possible) on your father's dignity, is hygiene. Yyou can imagine what's going to happen unless you're able to scrub under his fingernails with disinfectant every time.
Disposable wipes save SUCH a lot of time, and are good news for elders' skin because they cut down on the amount of wiping and scrubbing. The plumber is right, and the product marketeers are weasels, and no the wipes are NOT to be treated as flushable no matter how many smiley eco-friendly symbols there are on the packet - but that's easy: just keep a well-sealed pedal bin with a good quality liner in it next to the loo, and empty it often.
I was able to handle the situation. The only problem I EVER had with a clogged toilet was when a "caregiver" started flushing the wipes and her tampons.
While diaper genies, wipes, trash cans, commodes, toilet inserts (including bidets) all sound like good options, they will not work in all cases. Generally when short term memory goes (usually first with dementia), the person isn't able to "learn", so new ways to do anything, no matter how much we might instruct or leave notes, isn't gong to work.
If he will accept and be consistent with any of the options suggested, go for it! Limiting the amount of TP available is a way to prevent overuse and some clogging. But, it really sounds like the best method, at this stage, is limit the TP and be on hand to assist.
My "frugal" mom generally doesn't use enough TP (although sometimes her dispenser at the MC is empty too!), so she ends up with UTIs instead! The most recent episodes result in night time bed wetting (SOAKING!), so we get charged for extra laundry too. Sigh. No way to win.
A bedside commode would be the best answer—it has been a lifesaver here. Most drug stores sell plastic liners that fit inside the commode like a garbage-can liner. Place a short roll of toilet paper by the commode, and after everything is finished, simply tie off the bag and throw it away.
I also bought a pack of 12 inexpensive white washcloths at Walmart. They are thin, but when wet and squeezed almost dry, they seem to work the best for clean-ups of both patient and potty. We go through all of them sometimes in a single day. Then I throw them into the washer and do a small load with the hottest water and Clorox to sanitize them. I learned this trick from my mother, who took care of her husband for more than 10 years!
It's the plastic pan that sits on the rim of the bowl and under the toilet seat. Used in almost every doctor's office and hospital.
Along with wet wipes, it would ease the strain on the toilet.
Should be easy to find and cost
effective.
Mom could dispose of the wipes and flush the rest.
With every decline an adjustment has to be made. The declines can sort of creep up on you or they happen overnight. Your dads bathroom problems have crept up and now mom needs to step in and "help a bit" but soon she will have to help a lot more. She can say..I'm just going in with you to make sure there is enough toilet paper. She can monitor how well he is doing and as he needs more help she will notice. This is also when they go out look for "family restrooms" or I would take my Husband into the women's restroom but I would check it first and if anyone was there I would explain my Husband has dementia and I needed to bring him in. I never had a problem. If there was someone there that minded I would wait until they left. Most people are VERY understanding.
A few suggestions
Single ply toilet paper in the bathroom he uses.
NO wipes "flushable" or not.
ADA height toilet or get a riser.
Get an attachment that has "arms" so that he can get up from the toilet more easily.
Another option for the toilet..
There are plastic inserts that sort of look like a bucket that sit on the rim of the toilet under the seat. If you put this on the toilet no matter how much TP he puts in it it will not be flushed. Mom would have to go in and empty it but it would prevent plumbing problems and give dad a bit more sense of independence for a bit longer. But mom does need to prepare herself for stepping in a bit more often and for more of the ADL's (activities of daily living)
Flushable wipes are not really flushable and most municipalities request that they do not get flushed. I would definitely not flush them in a septic tank. That could be disastrous and expensive.
Welcome and best of luck. This is always a challenge it seems.
I have a pretty heavy duty toilet bowl myself my DH bought from Lowes. He told the salesman he wanted something that would be able to flush a bath towel or a small child. I still wouldn't flush wet wipes though, because clogs will happen with ANY toilet bowl and enough tp.
Good luck!
I just wanted to say welcome to the forum. There are many here who have experience in this situation and will help.
The wipes are not great, even the ones that claim to be flushable. I agree that too much toilet paper does stop up the toilet.
Best wishes to you and your family.