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I am 43 & caring for my 91 yr old mother. I can't go anywhere because she requires insulin injections & no one else can give them. Hopefully some respite care will get approved through Medicaid soon but they do not cover injections. I am losing my mind.. No other family to help out.

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Going crazy is part of the job.... sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed... we can relate.... and most are doing this job alone also.... surley there is a way to get the injections, possibly you can pay for that part yourself??? I don't know how that works.... others will post and possibly have some suggestions .... come back and let us know how you are doing.... we care... and most of us are already crazy... so you'll feel right at home... hugs...
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U or mom have past or current church involvement? Many have parish nurse programs, they may be able to give the shots in your absence, or give some referrals. Many communities have some friendly visitor programs or sliding fee respite. Check w area aging agency-they can give some overview or referrals. Also hospice might offer something secondary to dad's passing. Also, neighbors or co workers who are nurses or have siblings that are nurses. Ask around!!! Good luck. Ladee's right-we've all gone crazy-welcome to the club!
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My heart goes out to you. I am in the same situation that you are and am going crazy too. Mom has dementia and has had brain surgeries from a fall that she had and I feel like I am the one losing my mind and health. Mom is to be evaluated by a nurse and social worker from an aging care agency today. Part of that is to get some relief and get out a little bit, but she does not allow me out of her sight. I actually took a bathroom break and stopped by the computer to glance at something and she came on the hunt of me! If I go outside, she is constantly going to the doors and windows hunting for me! It is like Mom's body, but she just isn't in it. Just to let you know that you are not alone and my prayers are with you because it is a tough life. Please let us know how you are doing, because we care when you think no one else does. Take care!
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If you have time to be on the computer, try Second Life. It helps even to have contact with online friends. I have made some wonderful friends there. Take care and hope you get some respite soon!
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I am in the same boat with my husband. One day at a time.
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similiar experience with ours....
my dad is Denentia patient, my mum is the main caregiver, i and my sister will take turn at nite....he'll search4us if one of us not in his sight....the others will lie to him that i'm bathing, while actually i'm out for activities....
pray for all of us, both patient and caregivers, which can get a balance in our lives.
the patient will seek for us as he lack of safety and feel lonely. try get him/her busy in something, like telling them story, make them think thru conversation, pass the Bible for them to read, etc....
we're trying our best, everyday, to accompany him.
God is always with us, don't worry :)
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I'm also caring for my elderly mother and currently without a life outside the home. Sometimes I wonder if it's all my own doing. I know my sister and brother would have refused, and would have either hired someone or placed her in a facility. Personally I've always been a do-it-yourself type and never like paying money for something I think I can do myself just as well. :)

That said, I know it's not for everyone. A lot depends upon your ability to be by yourself, and still find enriching things to do. I doubt I could have survived this without the internet and my Kindle. I'm fortunate that my mother doesn't require that I be in the same room with her, so I'm able to go off and read, or sew, or watch movies. I find it helps to schedule yourself a little bit, if your into that sort of thing. Maybe an hour reading, and hour looking up recipes, and hour cooking, an hour watching a movie...that sort of thing.

I'm older (63), and a bit of a loner, so I realize this would be much more difficult for a younger, more sociable person. Which is why I don't fault my siblings—everyone has different social needs. It HAS taken a while to adapt myself to not being able to come and go as I please. But change is a part of life, so I ask myself — can I deal with this right now? So far, the answer is yes, but it really does come down to taking things one day at a time. I wish the best for you and your mom!
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Going crazy at times is part of it! I am the caregiver to mom and dad. They are both dependant on me fulltime. I had to give everything up in my life to do this but I am a firm believer that it is my job!! I have a sister but she doesn't help at all. She might visit once a month if that. Just hang in there and take one day at a time! You will be greatly rewarded for your efforts!!! Right now just be blessed that you are able! They did the same for you at one time.
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It is no picnic, and knew it would not be. My mom was the best and I know she is alone and frightened. I try to be what she needs. That ole dementia gets in the way. That stubborness, that looking at things not as they are. But all in all health wise she is doing well. I cannot change the rest. I still hug her and tell her I love her. And then I weep as I want my mom back as she was so bad and it is not going to happen. I do feel like my husband and I as a couple are suffering. But he is so kind and wise and he does understand. His mom is 90 and we may be taking care of her too. We just don't know what we are going to do if and when we get the call that they have found a kidney for him. We pray and we just keep on keeping on.
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second life helped when my mom was ill.. this time around with my father i now have a husband and am pregnant, i totally feel your pain. but if youre looking for people to talk to second life is deffo the way to go. I became so close with a few people on there i got to spend a month in london! it was awesome.
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The more I read from all of us in the same boat, I find there is a growing need for Adult Day Care Centers. I have looked in my area but haven't found a thing. I don't necessarily want to "get out of the house", I want her to go somewhere so I can enjoy relaxing alone time. She needs to be with people her own age (93) for a few hours a couple of times a week. I don't want to put her in a nursing home and she can't do Assisted Living, but I could take her someplace. It would give both of us new interests! Maybe we should band together and start one!
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Adult daycare centers are available in most areas. They have Cnn's on duty,who could give a shot. I had to fill out many papers for obvious reasons,they need to know many details. Most places only charge around $8 an hour. In my case, to have a few free hours is a blessing. Many local churches,Area Council on Ageing, will help you. You must seek out a helping hand and be surprised at what is available.
Good luck
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I'm in a similar situation. How do I keep from going crazy? You're online. Find entertainment there that you enjoy (games, look up friends on Facebook, etc.). I'm also learning to recognize when my 92-year old mother is being manipulative (yes, that happens) or when she really needs me. Pay attention, draw your lines in the sand and take control. You may find that you can create space for yourself. I've also learned to rearrange things in the house that could be dangerous to her, like removing knobs off the stove. I'll leave snacks for her so she's not calling me just because she wants a piece of candy. I've learned that when she's asleep at night I can slip out for a couple of hours to breath and enjoy myself. The house is locked securely so she cannot get out. No, I haven't done any vacations because there's no one to help me, but the short breaks with my contemporaries do help me maintain my sanity. After a while you may learn to relax and learn that we do not have control over everything. PS: My mother confuses day and night. I spoke to her physician about this who said that's very common with elderly people. He suggested I give her Benadryl so I could get some rest. He said it was the safest. If your mother's sleeping habits are part of your problem, do not hesitate to ask her doctor about sleeping aids for her. I don't use this often, but I'm learning slowly that if I do not take some precautions for myself, NO ONE will be there to care of my mother OR me. The same people who forsake your mother will not be there for you either. Look out for yourself as best you can and do not feel guilty about it.
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rioblu, what do you mean that no one else can give your mother her injections?

Is the reason she can't give hersef her shots her vision problems? Does she have other impairments that interfer, such as poor memory or confusion?

How often does she need shots in a day? Is the dose determined by blood sugar readings and other factors, or is it set to some standard amount? Would an insulin pump simplify the situation to some degree?

Your mother needs insulin. If the case worker is trying to arrange for some respite care and he or she is not including a way for your mother to get that insulin, then the case worker is not arranging the right thing! This is not about Medicaid "not covering injections." It is more likely about ordering the correct kind of assistance. If mother is eligible for homemaking services, for example, you can't tell the house cleaner, "Oh, by the way, while you are there give Ma her insulin shot." Whatever programs she is on, there are some rules about who can do what kind of services.

Giving your mother her insulin injections is tying you to her excessively. It also puts her at risk should something happen to you temporarily. What if you are sitting in an ER waiting to have a broken bone set when it is time for Mother's injection?

Have you had a serious talk with Mother's case worker about the insulin requirements?
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I too am taking care of my Mom who is insulin dependent and has glaucoma so she can't see to determine blood sugars/insulin needed. Also, she is very "brittle" with alot of low blood sugar crashes, so it is hard for someone to determine how much insulin is right. I went to our local senior center and talked to a counselor there, it really helped. They have some forms/questionaires that determine your stress/mental situation, hours of care given, income, etc. Then they are able to determine if you qualify for different programs. Have you checked out any Adult daycare centers? Try meditation, yoga or get a treadmill, this will help with the stress and you will be doing something for yourself. Hang in there!
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My mom will be 94 yrs old the end of next month August 30th she has Dimentia and Alzheimers' and since March we have had her taken to the Hospital which turned out to be a Urinary Tract Infection first they sent her to a geriatric hospital she stayed there for two weeks, I would try to talk to her but she would start biting, kicking, and leaving the house and I would have to follow her and try to coax her to come in the house that was the first time I called an ambulance cause she started acting that way and they put her on Risperdone for agitation and Trazodone for Insomnia I have been giving her that since she was released from that hospital plus she has very high blood pressure which she is taking lisinopril and Carvedilol and Aricept the Exelon Patch also but she will not keep it on the second visit to hospital another UTI she was there like 3 days I am with her all day until my brother gets home from work and then if he is not tired he will take her out for a while but now she doesn't even eat anymore chews it and takes it out of her mouth so looks like they will not be going out to eat anymore so he just takes her for a ride, I have the worst time taking her out when we come back she won't get out of the car says that this is not her home this is her home we moved in with her so I just have given up in that plus since I'm here with her at all times she hates me but she loves my brother he not quite two years younger than I and I'm 56 we have an older brother which is not quite two years older than myself that she doesn't remember and he was her no. 1 son I just get so frustrated cause she justs walks around and around the house and her words don't come out right anymore unless it's a curse word that comes out perfect lol Myself and my younger brother have had Lymphoma and have gone thru Chemo and we are in remission thank god but we are not supposed to get stressed out so we help each other out when I can't take it no more I tell him I'm going in my room well when he gets home she tells me to go away anyway It is so hard we love her but we don't know this person We are trying to hang in there that's all we can do while we are going crazy
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You can get visiting nurses and visiting nurses aides to come in paid by Medicare. There are adult day care centers and you can also hire sitters. Visit the site www.care(dot)com (I posted it this way because this site blocks any useful link you try to post) . The Care site allows you to put up an ad to hire someone at the wages you choose to come in when you need them and adult care is one of the options. You can get someone to come in whatever hours or days you need as much or as little as you need and you can have someone stay while you are on vacation. Care (dot)com is a great place to find help. I would also suggest that your mom be put on an insulin pump. It will check her blood sugars and send a bolus of insulin when needed without the need for someone to offer her a shot.
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I think the hardest thing I've had to deal with is mother's favortism with the other siblings. Care giving is a 24/7 job. I do my best to visit my mom in a nursing home, but when I come around she snubs me all the time or she will say mean spirited things to hurt my feelings. I know that I am not her favorite daughter. But I visit her when her other (8) siblings don't. So going crazy is normal. Because
you put so much of your life on hold to care for an elderly sick parent. Lord only knows. Hang in there, there is a bright side somewhere.
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I have seen caregiving from both sides of the coin. I was an aide for 10 years and now take care of my significant other. Gare givers need to take care of themselves. It is not selfish. studies have been done that show caregivers die or have major health problems when they don't seek relief. It is just healthy to take care of yourself.Social workers, agencies on aging can lead you to resources. Sometimes even though we don't want to think so our loved ones may need more care than we can give them. Sometimes just for their own safety. Lack of sleep and stress can kill and that is why respite is so important.
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Securing support is essential although It may be hard to ask for and/or accept help, but you are not alone in dealing with being the sometimes over-whelming burden of being a full-time caregiver. Think in terms of concrete actions that can help. Could a friend occasionally run errands for you? Could a neighbor or friend keep your mom company so that you can take a break—go to a movie, the gym, take a walk or a drive, or do some shopping for yourself so that you don't feel so isolated or overloaded.

Some caregivers find support groups helpful. They allow caregivers to share their experiences & exchange information. Some support groups may be linked to hospice care organizations, stress management or exercise classes. Support groups will remind you that it is not selfish for you to feel frustrated, overwhelmed, resentful, etc. and to help you find ways to attend to your own needs.

Support groups can be in person or they can be online. One of the best ways to find groups in your area is through the Family Caregiver Support Program in your state. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging (AAA) through the Eldercare Locator, 800-677-1116 toll free. If you want to talk with caregivers who are in similar situations, the AARP Web site has online forums where you can ask and answer questions, share your caregiving experiences, and learn from others.

Try to stay positive. With your mother being 91, your circumstances are bound
to improve before long.
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I feel for you. I too have been caring for my mother. But she recently got approved for a home health sitter to stay with her so I can get out and make some money and get some sort of regular income. I had to quit my job and stay home with her. She was in and out of the hospital so much that it was imposible to work anywhere. My sister is also helping on the weekends. So I hope that you may get some help also. Call social services they can point you in the right direction. Good luck and hang in there.
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Personally, if u can afford it, a skilled nurse should be able to handle insulin shots n have knowlege of diabetes. Yet, if you are in the same boat as many of us then I would suggest to find out what is offered in your local area.

Go to the top of this page where you see blue-colored blocks. Hover over the area on right that shows, 'Caregiver support' then, from the drop down list look for n press 'Find Agencies on Aging.' I think u just fill out information of what state you r living n it should give you a contact #. This is I think but don't quote me, a nonprofit organziation. I know, I have not had to pay them anything for their services. They have already done an assessment. n follow-up. They have helped me with local resources as for Respite Care places, financial issues n support groups for yourself as well. Maybe they can help with the situation of taking care of a person with diabetes that is insulin dependent. Also, if the person with glucoma can see through a magnifying glass n they can take care of themselves, u can sometimes buy a sm magnify glass that slips over the syringe from a local pharmacy not sure over the epi-pen but I bet their is something.
I would also check out alz.org for help n explain the reason n what u need help with n maybe they can help some of y'all that r needing help. I hope this is some help for y'all. Remember to stop n breathe.
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I have reached the point with my husband, who has dementia, that I'm either going to get 24-hour help in-home or send him to foster care, and there's a little part of me that feels I ought to be able to do this, but you reach a point where it's hurting your own health. Ask a government agency on aging if there isn't some visiting nurse's association who could come give the shots. Find an agency for in-home care even for a couple days a week -maybe one of their people can do shots, too. I've found if I don't have lunch out or some other time for myself at least once a week I start to go batty. And then you feel resentful of the loved one and it's hard to be a caring caregiver. You gotta get help -start with one phone call and see where it takes you.
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A neighbor who is caring for a mother in the early stages of dementia has found that she can keep her mom happy for hours by letting her watch Harry Potter videos.
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Work was my only salvation, and I work in mental health. Ha ha.....I started spending more time with my kids away from the house ( mom lived with us), but I always fely guilty because when wed get back shed give me 20 questions and pout becuase she didnt go. I know I shouldve offered to take her more often, but I needed my time too.
AS far as Medicaid covering her respite care... if she can go to an in pt stay, then they will have nurses that can help with the insulin and blood sugar readings.. but you might want her Doc to write an order specifically stating she has to have her insulin administered. As long as its deemed medically necessary, caid should provide that service
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I can relate to all of your stories as I too am sole caregiver for my mother who is 87. She has Dementia and Congestive Heart Failure as well as declining health issues due to aging. I am chained to the house for fear that leaving her alone for any length of time, she may fall down the stairs or forget to take her medicines. Depression and anxiety plague me daily as I try to get mom to take an interest in things other than sitting on the couch watching old movies or sleeping until 4:00pm. I feel so guilty when I allow her to sleep since the majority of time I am drained of all energy and find it difficult to clean house, cook, grocery shop, take care of the dog, etc. I cry just about everyday wondering how much longer mom will be able to sustain her health. I worry about the reverse mortgage she has on her home and where I will live once she passes on. The house will go to the bank and neither mom nor I have any investments or assets saved for emergencies. My brother is no help and is in denial. He probably thinks since I live here I can do it all alone without financial help or physically getting someone to come in and help. I have found that family and friends often run the other way when you need help the most. My only hope is my faith in Christ and trust that he is in control and will hopefully reward me for taking on this responsibility. The Bible clearly states that we must honor our parents and after all as I look back, she has helped me through many crisis situations. So, fellow caregivers, we are doing the Lord's work if this is any consolation, and if we look at it in this light then the burden becomes a little lighter.
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In answer to your question about caring for your 91 year old mom and no one to help you give her insulin shots......have you spoken to Social Services about receiving help? There are other homecare providers out there like Visiting Angels. I am not sure what there fee is but it is worth a try to see what they can offer you. I know that the support group I belong to has respite care but they are more like babysitters and cannot give eyedrops or shots to the elderly.
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HaVE YOU LOOKED INTO AN ADULT DAY CARE FOR ALZHEIMER'S? MY MOTHER IS IN A PROGRAM AND ATTEND 6 DAYS A WEEK AND IT IS THE ONLY WAY I COULD CONTINUE TO CARE FOR HER. MOST PROGRAMS ARE SUPPLEMENTED BY MEDICAID, BUT IN OUR CASE, THERE IS A MONTHLY FEE (AROUND 300.00 PER MONTH) WHICH IS MINIMAL WHEN YOU CONSIDER THE REDUCTION IN STRESS AND SOME FREEDOM. ALSO, MOST PROGRAMS HAVE A NURSE ON STAFF THAT COULD ADMINISTER HER INSULIN. IF YOUR MOTHER IS ELIGIBLE FOR MEDICAID, THERE MAY BE NO MONTHLY FEE, DEPENDING ON HER INCOME. GOOD LUCK
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Thank EVERYONE that gave such good ideas, encouragement & support. I see there are so many of us out there. I have only been at this place for 4 days I am so glad I found it!. I felt so isolated before. We all have to just stick together and make it through. I'm going to look into some of the ideas & tips & Medicaid info that were mentioned. I read some that I had not even tried or even thought about as a possibility. I work full-time and here is just about the only "group" place I can come to to talk. The Home Health agencies I have spoken with will not allow their aides to give shots or even eye-drops or check blood sugar - so I will have to find a private person for that. I go home everday on my lunch break to give my mother her insulin. My Mom cannot see well enough to check her blood sugar or to give herself the injection and she also is a "brittle" diabetic her blood sugar can drop or run high. She has heart condition also & other conditions just due to aging. I was just notified today that Respite hours were approved through Medicaid!! So now I just need to find someone that can give the injections and I can try to arrange to take some time off for myself. I will get her Dr. to write orders on the insulin and try that too to see if I can get approved somehow through Medicaid. Also will look into Adult Daycare. I know God is with us. I wish Blessings for all of you........
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rioblu..it will seem like just when you have reached the end of your rope, and then something worse happens. You will find how resilient we caregivers are - because we Have To Be. Just take a deep breathe from your nose - Hold - and then slowly breathe out from your mouth. Every roadblock you meet, you will learn to adjust and conquer it. Take it one at a time. Right now, your Aunt is the one with the urgency, so you will need to be there for her. Since this is an emergency, any possibility of Paying a friend/family who knows how to give shots? A lot of time, family won't volunteer but don't mind helping out if it means being paid. I'm glad that the Respite was approved. Take care and Drive Carefully!!
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