My 96 year father recently recently got a new bathing aid, and she is insisting that he stand up so she can clean and rinse his bottom area. He has a walk in shower and a rolling shower chair that has a large opening in the middle so all she has to do is get the shower wand and rinse him off while he is sitting. He is a high fall risk and he has fallen in the past and broken his hip. When I mentioned this to her, she told me she has been a bathing aid for 20 plus years and he is not going to fall. She is not listening to my instructions that he is never stand in the shower. Any advice would be appreciated.
As soon as I read your post I immediately cringed with fear for your father. So glad you realized this aide posed an absolute threat to your father's safety. Glad you fired her without delay. Good job!!!
If so, then you will call and you will say this: "My dad is fragile and frail and not good on his feet; he loves his shower and has a special chair with bottom cutout so that his privates can be accessed for easy cleansing. I have asked the aid to allow my father to sit throughout his shower as my greatest fear for him is a fall that could usher in the beginning of the end at 96. The aid ignored my request and said (quote her here). I am requesting that this particular aid not return. I believe she is a danger to my Dad."
If she is private hire, then it's EASIER even than this.
The truth is that at 96 your Dad is in grave danger with most anything. My concern is that you are too involved, but having said that, a fall when your back is turned is going to break your heart.
Best of luck to you. What concerns me here is not the aid and how she DOES things, but her attitude to a family member who is very concerned.
Tell her that you prefer her to do it your way.
That neither you nor dad are comfortable with him standing. But if it is an inconvenience to her then you will need to replace her. You need someone you can work with.