My mother has Alzheimer's and dementia, and has been in a memory care facility for over a year. Her behavior has gone from bad to worse and I am afraid the facility is going to kick her out for abusing the staff and frightening other residents. Mom is docile, sweet, and kind during the day for the most part, but then Sundowner's takes over and she is abusive and combative. She is taking two anxiety drugs every day and has a PRN for anxiety she is given when she is at her worst, but that is getting to be every day now.
My parents both asked me and my husband to take care of my mother after my father died because they felt my two sisters were "unable to take care of themselves and, therefore, couldn't take care of them" and my husband and I have done our best for the past three years. My sisters who live 1000 miles away, are both emotionally unstable and their lives are train wrecks. Both are hostile towards me and have accused me of the most horrible crimes you could ever imagine, and are constantly taking me to court. The court has given me temporary guardianship of my mother, but I am at a loss as to what to do if she is kicked out of this facility. It is such a nice place and the staff is great, but they are threatening to send her to a Psych Ward if she keeps this behavior up.
My sisters want Mom to come and live with them, but I know how hard that is because she lived with us for two years after Dad died. Mom says she wants to live with family, and I am now tempted to give up and send Mom to live with them, but my parents' words keep ringing in my ears. I feel like I am giving up on fulfilling my parents' wishes, and giving in to these angry, unstable sisters' demands. I am at a loss as to what to do.
If she does not have a UTI etc , IF memory care says it’s necessary , Maybe the psych ward could figure out a medication regimen to work for your mother to the point where she could then go back to her memory care facility or another one .
You ARE fulfilling your promise to take care of Mom , by getting her the professional care she needs in a facility .
This is where Mom needs to be .
Your mother can not live with family . It would not be safe for her or anyone else living with her.
Look, that sounds bad, but this is not 1960. The Psych Ward is where to get the medical help to assist with 'behaviours of concern'. Wean off old meds, trial new meds, wait to assess. Tinker with meds, assess again etc. (Often a 2 week stay). This is all done under supervision.
If me, I'd rename Psych Ward to the more palatable 'Geri Mental Health Ward' & be open to it. With view to stabilise & moderate behaviour so Mom could remain living in her current place.
Kudos on protecting your sisters from themselves by the way. That’s a good call.