Gretchen Staebler's Memoir, Mother Lode, about her move in her early 60s from NC back "home" to Washington State to care for her 96 year old Mom is one of the best memoirs I have ever read, and right up a caregiver's alley. Full of compassion and angst and a huge sprinkling of humor throughout.
This book is free if you are on Kindle Unlimited, and cheap if you are only on Amazon.
I sure do recommend it.
I have never done kindle. I think it’s a great idea. I just like having a physical copy of a book. Easy to tote around.
I still think I’ll skip . I also haven’t gotten the nerve to read “Never Simple “ yet.
Go to her website and she has her own caregiving community and newsletter.
just found this out.
For me the disappointment is the author (so far) thinks caregiving is so difficult, when mom can still go for walks, clean up the kitchen, go to appointments, shopping, etc. And, the sister is a minute away and comes running to help in a crisis or spend a night or 2 to give the author a little vacation.
I’m not even halfway through yet, so maybe things are going to get much worse and the author will find out what real, gritty caregiving is (toileting, bedsores, etc, and having other family drop out). I’m not halfway through yet, so I guess I’ll see. I was hoping for something I could identify with. Sadly, maybe this is the direction the story is going…
@NHWM It is available in paperback from Amazon.
"the author (so far) thinks caregiving is so difficult, when mom can still go for walks, clean up the kitchen, go to appointments, shopping, etc. And, the sister is a minute away and comes running to help in a crisis or spend a night or 2 to give the author a little vacation."
I often feel that way about many of the people who come to the forum, and I usually ask for clarification when someone is described as having "advanced dementia" because some peoples ideas of advanced is often... not. I have to remind my self this is all new to them and to extend a little grace.
Mom in the book sure has control issues, and I have my own. But yes, as you can imagine, this is 6 years of caregiving, and it is progressing. For 6 years until Mom is almost 102 years old.
It would be the emotional issues that would "get me" in caregiving, and why I as an RN always KNEW I could never do caregiving for someone 24/7. Not for the best person in the world. Mother daughter issues just never go away, even when the daughter is 65, you know? I couldn't do it. The hands on care of lotion and massage and help to the bathroom and cleanup and even bedsores? THAT I could do. The other? I couldn't survive for a second, even with sister in town, who already had put in her 5 years. You are doing hands on. I never could have, and I make that clear here all the time. I knew my limitations and I knew them WELL. I would also never allow my daughter to take care of me. And she is well aware of that.
For me, a fascinating, not put-down-able book. Everyone will have their own opinion when we finally see StellaJo out, for certain.
Carry on. And best out to you.
Blessings for the holiday season and all the more reasons for showing love to others not think only of oneself. Remember to do God's work with serving others with love. This is another form of medicine!