My mum is 84 and has advanced dementia. She’s now in palliative care, bedbound, and needs 24‑hour support. She’s still eating and drinking and can be in good spirits, but she has had repeated pneumonias and UTIs, and the last few years have been extremely hard.My sister and I are her main carers we are in our 40s.. We both work full‑time and also have our own families. For the past three years, our lives have revolved around her care, hospital admissions, GP visits, medication, organising private carers, managing rotas, paying wages, dealing with bills, and responding to constant crises. I’m often working late at night just to keep up with my job. The stress is relentless, and I’m terrified of the next infection and what it might mean.She is no longer for hospitalisation, so everything is now managed at home under palliative care. We’re doing our best, but it’s overwhelming.We also have siblings who offer little to no help and, in some cases, add more stress. One is quite rude and dismissive, and I’ve had to stop responding because it was affecting my mental health.I feel like I’m losing myself under the weight of it all. I don’t have time to see a therapist, but I know I need better coping mechanisms. Im also finding so hard to watch my mother decline so much. I’m hoping to hear from others who have cared for a parent with dementia, how did you manage the stress, the fear, and the exhaustion? Any tips or mantras?
Know you are doing your best. Play music, lighten the mood when you're in her room.
Putting mom in a board n care sounds like it doesn't exist where you are..