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BVC...oh yes..I think most of us get that same scenario pretty well. Yes it's true you only find out their true personalities at a certain point. I have been taking care of my mom for the past 12 years and I could not take a vacation or go anywhere because I had to be there to answer the phone at her whim, every day. It's amazing on how these old used up people with no lives left over have done so much damage to those of us who still have a lot of life still to live. The stress they bring upon you does do physical damage. I found that out the first year of taking care of my Narcissistic demanding control freak of a mother. I went to many doctors and no one could help, until one day I realized it was her making me sick. Once I figured that out...my syptoms started to decline. Now that she is declining she again has affected my health on and off for the past year. Last year I found out about Narcissistic Personality Disorder it was a godsend so to speak. It explained my mother to a T and it helped a lot. So I get where you are coming from. She will get hers in the end like they all do..it's just a shame they drag us down with them. I would say heck...start saving between you three girls if you can any money and get the hell out of there and she how she likes them apples!
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