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My dad and I lived together for many years. About 25 years ago, we became estranged. The last 12 years, attempts were made by both of us to reconcile. He has Alzheimer and his younger sister who lives out of state (who never gave him the time of day before) became the power of attorney.
His friend and I had a lovely visit with him last year. The "agency" wasn't too cooperative in any future visits. The government agency that hired them lied to my aunt and me. This year, I visited him, and we had a lovely visit. His mind is very sharp and he could still play the instruments he used to play in church. I don't know what the aids do the 8 hours they are there, but his house in extremely unorganized. The agency won't let me see him and told me to contact the government agency who hired them. My friend and I have called for over a week and get no response. I've asked for a list of "rules" so there is no misunderstanding.
I called my aunt to ask if she would change and allow me to visit him.
I haven't worked in 2 1/2 years, and now am underemployed. Money is little.
Sounds like for the reason that you were estranged from him all those years your Aunt and/or the agency stepped in. Did some problem arise between you and him that caused the estrangement? So the Aunt/and the agency have power over him as he no longer, having Alzheimers, can be responsible for his finances, etc. so Aunt and Agency has stepped in. Sounds to me the "agency" has some reason for preventing you from seeing him, maybe something your Aunt told them or some valid reason, I dont' know but they are right in telling you to go through the government agency who hired them, whoever/whatever this "government" agency is. That would be your best bet is to go directly with them and find out why you can't see him and explain whatever reason, if there is a problem with the Aunt, or one for which you have had with your father in the past. Is the only way your going to get anywhere unless you go directly to a lawyer and you've already indicated you really don't have the money to do this.
My mom is Married to a man with little or no patients and she has Alzhemiers (EARLY ) stages she is Nervious and confused more around him because he yells at her all the time because she can't remember anything ...(MORE SO BECAUSE HE SCREAMS AT HER ) ..I am out of state I live in NC and she lives in NY . She visited me for a month this summer although forgetfull it wasn't as bad as when she is with him . I have a lot of patients with her . He yell at her 24/7 . . He has always been this way , but now worse since she has become ill . She is a tiny women , but is losing weight , because of her nerviousness . He is not my Biological father . My sister whom also live in a different State MS , is also corcerned . We want to get her away from him before he literally drive her in the grave . We don't know how to go about it , with little funds to do it through a lawyer . If we tell him we are just coming to get her he will hide whatever money they have . he has already took money out and claims it was hers and put it in the bank in just hers and my sisters name , but we don't know what he does with her SS check and he other bank accounts... If anyone know what we could do legally , Pwith out financial resorces ... please HELP Before I lose her Totally Jacqueline C.
in my family's situation, my parents set up a POA about 25 yrs ago. I don't know how much it cost then, but it recently it has cost $3k to update (also included rewriting parts of their will and trust). My point is, Over the years you will want to update things as Life happens, so there is probably no "once & done" with POA's. Another thing to consider, is (in our family) that the POA gets to consult anytime they feel like it, with the family attorney, and that (in our family) has been a point of contention. To the point that my Sis who has the POA is hiding financial matters from the rest of us, and basically is not talking to any of us anymore. However Sis lives several states away and really is not informed about my parents health or needs or wants, that person is me. So the "cost" of a POA is an ongoing expense, and it comes down to, the "cost" is not just thousands of dollars, but immensely fractured families (if you choose the wrong POA as it appears to be in our family).
To the daughter who her step dad is getting her mom SS why is he getting it? My mom was placed in a nursing home three weeks ago, her husband not my dad ugh it sounds just like your mothers husband. I'm in the process if being her POW.
I bought a durable power of attorney but I think I'm going to contact a lawyer before I fill it out. Any suggestions, my mom is in a nursing home will her dead beat husband get her SS check.
my aunt has power of attorney over my grandmther who raised me and my sisters since we were babies we have aunts and uncles who drive down from ft worth to see her and to take her out for family time my aunt has now made it impossible for us to continue taking my grandma out on outings we are now just able to see her in the home and that is all she is very miserable is my aunt legally able to forbid us from seeing and taking her on outings
Very nice and informative article here. You touched on a topical issue. I would appreciate if you'd written about how to fill a form online. You will be surprised how easy it can be to fill forms. Try filling
I bought years ago an inexpensive program that had several forms. A will, a promissory note, and a POA among other things. You can find them at local office supply chains or online. You can also just buy one form. You can get options for just a financial POA or a full one that covers medical decisions. I went one step further and paid a fee to record at the county seat courthouse. My sister has a son somewhere, cut off contact 2, maybe 3 years ago before she went to AL. He never bothered anyway but for money. She finally said no, he got angry and that was that. Maybe be totally unnecessary, but it's a matter of public record now if he decided to show up. Been almost a year since I got a POA and she moved and still haven't heard from him, don't care. You really don't need an attorney for a POA. The forms allow you to custom produce. They're pretty general in nature.
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
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I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
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APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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How Much Does It Cost to Get a Power of Attorney Document?
His friend and I had a lovely visit with him last year. The "agency" wasn't too cooperative in any future visits. The government agency that hired them lied to my aunt and me.
This year, I visited him, and we had a lovely visit. His mind is very sharp and he could still play the instruments he used to play in church.
I don't know what the aids do the 8 hours they are there, but his house in extremely unorganized.
The agency won't let me see him and told me to contact the government agency who hired them. My friend and I have called for over a week and get no response. I've asked for a list of "rules" so there is no misunderstanding.
I called my aunt to ask if she would change and allow me to visit him.
I haven't worked in 2 1/2 years, and now am underemployed. Money is little.
I am a paralegal. What can I do?
Another thing to consider, is (in our family) that the POA gets to consult anytime they feel like it, with the family attorney, and that (in our family) has been a point of contention. To the point that my Sis who has the POA is hiding financial matters from the rest of us, and basically is not talking to any of us anymore. However Sis lives several states away and really is not informed about my parents health or needs or wants, that person is me.
So the "cost" of a POA is an ongoing expense, and it comes down to, the "cost" is not just thousands of dollars, but immensely fractured families (if you choose the wrong POA as it appears to be in our family).