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I'm guessing because you didn't listen to the advice from your previous question about your mother putting her poop in the waste paper basket where you were informed multiple times that your mother should not be allowed in the bathroom any longer by herself, but should instead now be supervised at all times. I'm wondering what part of that advice did you not understand?
I kind of think I remember a Yolanda from some time ago with these sort of questions multipel times, FunkyG. I am thinking perhaps our collective legs are being pulled. We'll see.
With all that is going on with your mom she needs to be closely monitored in the bathroom. Making sure she cleans properly Does not put to much toilet paper in the toilet or flush wipes. Handwashing Making sure that if her underwear or pull ups are soiled they are changed. This is also a great time for you to check the condition of her skin looking for any red marks, bruising, blotchy coloring, rashes and the like.
The reason she tries to hand you fecal matter in a piece of toilet paper is known to her and her alone. She probably could not tell you why if you asked. maybe she wants to make sure that it is disposed of properly and she does not know where to put it.
Possibly because you told her not to put it in the waste basket or it may go way back to being potty trained and she is proud she had NOT pooped in her pants?? Pick a reason. There could be many. But for whatever reason she is giving you fair warning that this is her reality for the moment and it will progress as more and more of her brain is taken over by her disease.
It calls for a caregiver to monitor her at all times, especially around toileting, My DH aunt would use a roll of TP each time she went. After a few expensive plumber visits I bought a commode that was advertised to flush a bucket of golf balls. That helped with plumbing bills and bought a bit more time with less supervision of toileting but it wasn’t long before the pull-ups were flushed or not changed. And a little later, not bothering to go to the bathroom at all and having to be led to the bathroom and then losing the ability to walk to the bathroom to being bed bound. It is a progression.
What is your situation Yolanda? Do you have any help? When did you last get a break from the caregiving? Is mom living in your house with you or you with her? Give us a snapshot of your situation with mom.
Always a good idea is to Call your Area Agency on Aging. Each county has one. See what services might be available for you and mom. Their mission is to keep elders in the home as long as possible and they try to help with the resources they have. Even a tiny bit of help is worth reaching out for.
Hold up a trash can in your hands so she can’t put the toilet paper in your hands , hopefully she’ll put the paper in the trash can . Her brain is broken.
In your last question, you asked if it was normal/common for your mother with dementia to wipe and throw her toilet paper into the waste basket. You were given lots of good comments regarding bathroom habits of elders with dementia, did you read them?
I suggest you pick up a copy of the book Understanding the Dementia Experience by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller on Amazon so you can learn about dementia and how to deal with your mom and what to expect. Her brain is damaged now, so she needs to be accompanied to the bathroom each time. She's no longer aware of where feces belong, or what to do with the toilet paper once it's soiled.
I actually believe that I recall this name from past times?
I don't remember much anymore, but I think I do remember that.
Reminds me of when I was a kid and we all got together, used our rotary dial phones to call hardware stores and ask for outlandish products, then collapse in the giggles. Those poor hard working folks out there! It's about maturity, I think.
Then we get TOO mature, and it's the slide down the other side of the mountain we just climbed!
I am caring for my mother... who is 91 years old, living at home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, incontinence, and parkinson's disease."
It's her dementia causing her to do this. My 100-yr old Aunt with advanced dementia would chew her food and then spit out each mouthful into a napkin (1 per mouthful) and keep it on her place. Also covered up her food with napkins, etc. There's no "reason" why your Mom is doing it, this is just what her broken brain is telling her.
To stop the behavior... if she is wearing disposable briefs, then you can add "adaptive" clothing, such as an anti-strip jumpsuit, which will prevent her from accessing her brief after a BM. This way you can control it.
If she isn't wearing disposable briefs, please convert her to these (and throw out all cloth undies) and get the anti-strip clothing for her.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I'm wondering what part of that advice did you not understand?
I am thinking perhaps our collective legs are being pulled.
We'll see.
Making sure she cleans properly
Does not put to much toilet paper in the toilet or flush wipes.
Handwashing
Making sure that if her underwear or pull ups are soiled they are changed.
This is also a great time for you to check the condition of her skin looking for any red marks, bruising, blotchy coloring, rashes and the like.
The reason she tries to hand you fecal matter in a piece of toilet paper is known to her and her alone. She probably could not tell you why if you asked. maybe she wants to make sure that it is disposed of properly and she does not know where to put it.
It calls for a caregiver to monitor her at all times, especially around toileting, My DH aunt would use a roll of TP each time she went. After a few expensive plumber visits I bought a commode that was advertised to flush a bucket of golf balls. That helped with plumbing bills and bought a bit more time with less supervision of toileting but it wasn’t long before the pull-ups were flushed or not changed. And a little later, not bothering to go to the bathroom at all and having to be led to the bathroom and then losing the ability to walk to the bathroom to being bed bound. It is a progression.
What is your situation Yolanda? Do you have any help? When did you last get a break from the caregiving? Is mom living in your house with you or you with her? Give us a snapshot of your situation with mom.
Always a good idea is to Call your Area Agency on Aging. Each county has one. See what services might be available for you and mom. Their mission is to keep elders in the home as long as possible and they try to help with the resources they have. Even a tiny bit of help is worth reaching out for.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/mother-wipes-and-throw-tissue-in-waste-basket-is-this-common-487437.htm?orderby=recent
I suggest you pick up a copy of the book Understanding the Dementia Experience by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller on Amazon so you can learn about dementia and how to deal with your mom and what to expect. Her brain is damaged now, so she needs to be accompanied to the bathroom each time. She's no longer aware of where feces belong, or what to do with the toilet paper once it's soiled.
Good luck to you.
I don't remember much anymore, but I think I do remember that.
Reminds me of when I was a kid and we all got together, used our rotary dial phones to call hardware stores and ask for outlandish products, then collapse in the giggles. Those poor hard working folks out there! It's about maturity, I think.
Then we get TOO mature, and it's the slide down the other side of the mountain we just climbed!
I am caring for my mother... who is 91 years old, living at home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, incontinence, and parkinson's disease."
It's her dementia causing her to do this. My 100-yr old Aunt with advanced dementia would chew her food and then spit out each mouthful into a napkin (1 per mouthful) and keep it on her place. Also covered up her food with napkins, etc. There's no "reason" why your Mom is doing it, this is just what her broken brain is telling her.
To stop the behavior... if she is wearing disposable briefs, then you can add "adaptive" clothing, such as an anti-strip jumpsuit, which will prevent her from accessing her brief after a BM. This way you can control it.
If she isn't wearing disposable briefs, please convert her to these (and throw out all cloth undies) and get the anti-strip clothing for her.
https://www.silverts.com/all-adaptive/pants/alzheimer-s-jumpsuits