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If either my husband or I were exposed/infected we could move into our RV in our driveway to isolate away from my mom. Just realized if we both caught corona virus we have no plans in place for my mom’s care while we are isolated. We are proactively self isolating in our home as much as possible with the exception of hospice visitors coming in and grocery store visits with gloves, sanitizing etc.


If we actually both got sick...


Doubt a respite care would take her with exposure, not sure if visiting care givers could be hired.


Thoughts?

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Do you have younger local relatives, friends or neighbors who could help her? Are you looking to keep her in your home? Can she be left alone overnight? Is there food she can easily make and eat herself or that someone else can easily prepare? How much help with ADLs does she need?
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KatD81 Mar 2020
Yes--I too need more information before I can provide anything helpful here.
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I too am wondering what to do if things worsen.

I have 2 relatives that rely on paid carers for ADLs. One will just skip washing & be ok as not living alone. The other does live alone & requires help for all ADLs & would be house-bound, unwashed & unhygenic without them. But still ok in a life & death way - unless gets the virus of course - then I call emergency services & hope they come!

Just follow health warnings: wash your hands, cover any cough or sneeze.

If ill, disinfect taps, lightswiches, counter tops etc. Get masks & gloves delivered & wear to protect Mother.

Hopefully you will not get it. Or if you do, not at the same time.
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Jo123456 Mar 2020
re baths.... I have those rinseless soapy wipes like the hospital has... only from amazon... much better than other “baby/adult wipes” ( in case that would be a help for your relatives)
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I have been sick with colds and flu without infecting my mother who lives with me. Our bedrooms are in separate ends of the house and we each have our own bathroom, so basically I "isolate" each of us in our room. I have HEPA filters and ionizers running in each bedroom and one in the common/open kitchen/living/dining area. I purchased the filters due to my asthma for air particles and smells but I understand they also help with airborne viruses. The baby monitor's intercom feature is very important to allow me to talk with Mom while not being in the same room.

When I'm ill and I leave my bedroom, I first wash my hands, forearms, and face really well and then put a cover-up over my clothes. I have several loose dresses, robes, and beach cover-ups available to throw over my clothing. If I cough or sneeze while out of the bedroom, I lift my clothing neckline and put my entire face under my clothing while bending my neck as far down as possible and turning away from areas I really wish to protect like kitchen counters. Then I clean my hands and forearms again with sanitizer, making sure under and around the nail beds get extra attention. Sometimes I go change clothes and start over. If I'm in Mom's room when I feel a cough coming on, I step into the hall and try to get as far from her room as I can.

When helping Mom I try not to even touch things she needs to touch unless I have just finished cleaning my hands. If I need to move the walker I use the structural support bars and not the hand grips or top rails Mom uses. I disinfect surfaces I have touched before retreating back to my room.

I have stocked up on frozen meals, frozen fruit, cereal, popsicles, canned soup and frozen homemade soups I so I don't have to actually cook if I'm ill. Walmart has grocery delivery and my nephew and his wife live next door and could be counted on to bring us anything we need. My niece-in-law is in her 40s with no underlying health conditions and would care for my mother if needed. I'm lucky that Mom's minimal care requirements would be providing food and drink, helping her get up and resettled for bathroom trips and washing her bottom and changing her incontinence panty 2-3 times a day (she pees most of the time when sleeping now). Unless I get deathly sick, I should be able to keep things going. My usual backup (Mom's younger sister) is 70 with diabetes and I do not feel I can ask for her help with covid-19. Area ALs/MCs/NHs are not accepting new residents or any visitors except those approved by the DON. There is some planning on setting up an isolation area where potential new residents would stay for 30 days before moving into a LTC facility being discussed.

We have a couple of confirmed cases in my area from international travelers but no community spread yet. Right now I plan on sending Mom to ADC for another week or until community spread begins or the NASCAR race crowd comes to town. Then we are going to stay home alone until at least the weather lifts. I see lots of afternoons watching old movies in our future...
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cherokeegrrl54 Mar 2020
Well NASCAR wont be having any spectators for at least the next 2 weekends. Gonna b kinda weird watching the race and not seeing ppl in the stands. Im just glad theyre not cancelling the races!!
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I have read that the reason the death toll in Italy is so high is that #1 there are a lot of very elderly people; #2 the healthcare system was completely overwhelmed; #3 not enough people to check on or caregive those who are sick in their homes. With a national travel ban even if you lived in Italy with your LOs you'd not be able to get to them to help but even if you did, where would you take them? Italy has one of the lowest birthrates in the world which means there aren't enough younger, healthier, less at-risk people to help the sick elderly. Very tragic situation there.
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needtowashhair Mar 2020
The healthcare system in Italy is far better than it is here in the US. They have more capacity per capita. We should take heed their warning to us about getting resources ready to deal with this.
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By the time you know that you have coronavirus, you have already been contagious for at least 5 days. That's the problem. I don't think there is a lot you can do about that except take the recommended steps to avoid your own exposure to coronavirus and be really, really good about following the protocols (hand washing, gloves, ect..) when caring for your mom.

It's good to set up a plan for her care if you and your husband both are unavailable- whether due to coronavirus or anything else.
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After talking to my SIL yesterday who is a Dr. in VA--he said this will run its course and people need to STOP FREAKING OUT. He said "Unless you are elderly and/or immunocompromised, you won't feel much worse than if you had the flu" I said, "Uh, Doc, I am BOTH. (Cancer last year and only 5 months done with chemo and my FU cancer tx is MORE chemo). (pause) "Well, YOU stay away from everybody then!" No--still just common sense and hand washing and no touching your face.

He said that staying away from crowds and NORMAL hygiene is what will end this pandemic. I know his kids are the best dang handwashers in the world.

This thing is a real wake up call. I am feeling pretty proud of myself that I recently spent a portion of our tax refund on a 1 years' supply of food. I just need to store some more water and wait this out. DH is going to work from home next week---YD is already doing so, down in San Jose (her neighbor actually did die from this virus--so YD is freaking out a little. She didn't even know this lady, but she said she was elderly and frail, Still and all, she says she's staying indoors and living on what food they've stored.

Hopefully, being forewarned and smart about hygiene--we as a country, well even a WORLD will learn something from this.
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Mom is 88; I'm 56 with severe asthma and a couple other compromising conditions so we're both likely causalities even if treatment is available. So I'm going to try to avoid it with social isolation and careful attention to good hygiene until there's a vaccine. Now I'm just praying I make good decisions on the timing and degree of social isolation. When to stop sending Mom to adult day care or when/if to stop the kids from visiting...

The school aged kids think I'm a little crazy, but they don't complain too much when I ask them to change into clean clothes and wash their face and hands really well after school. The 5 year old pre-schooler is happy to wash his hands every time I do, so that's not as big a concern as it could be.
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IsntEasy Mar 2020
It's already time to stop adult day care and visits from potential symptom-free virus carriers. They are calling them 'Super Spreaders' and one such person, Patient 31, had devastating effects in South Korea by NOT isolating.
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We are already on voluntary personal lockdown. No one in or out. If I am the one that gets sick then it's going to be a problem since I have to take care of the 3 of them. If one of them gets sick they are in their own rooms so are already isolated. I would probably turn off the central heating and switch to in room heaters.

In the past when I've had colds, I wear a mask 24/7, except in the shower, and gloves when caregiving. Not once have I passed on a cold to any of them.
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Arwen31 Mar 2020
Just reading you makes me feel more organized :) Keeping our cool and organized is now paramount, your posts are helping me a lot. Thank you.
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My daughter just called me very upset. We are upset too. Apparently, Louisiana State University will not have a graduation ceremony. 😞

They are mailing out diplomas. All this time in school and she will have no official ceremony to remember.

Of course, public safety comes first but she is sad. So are we. I don’t get to hear my daughter’s name called or see her in her cap and gown.

I’m bummed out today.
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jacobsonbob Mar 2020
Is there any chance they'll have a "makeup" ceremony in the future? (Perhaps this would be in conjunction with one for the next graduating class?).
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Well I work for a major hospital, and mom has already informed me that if we get it, it will be because I "brought it home".. She is a retired RN so she knows what I signed up for up when I took this job. She is almost 90.. already not wanting to leave the house. We did get her out for a lunch today,, no cases in our area.. and I practice all the recommendations of our hospital. I guess I feel like "it is what it is" I could bring home anything , I am exposed to lots of things,, but so far none of it has followed me home. We also live in the "middle of nowhere".. with a vacation home in the "middle of nowhere", so we are just going to keep her home from now on for her peace of mind. One of my friends told her mom "living in a box is no way to live".. My mom is ready to go, but I;m hoping to keep her around a bit longer.
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So I tried to do an online order this morning - a sick kit: tissues, wipes, gloves, spray disinfectant, hand soap, frozen veggies, tinned soup & of course the toilet paper! Every single item unavailable 😥.

Thought a sick kit would be good for ourselves or if heading to help out the three households of elderly/disabled relatives that would reply on us. Thanks Jo, I'll add the wash cloth wipes for them too.

At least we have tech! Checking on the rellies by txt already & *hopefully* able to order supplies soon... if not, make do & get creative it will be.
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My sister is somewhat of a "hoarder" in the sense that she wants to be overly-prepared (if there is such a thing) for anything. She has gallon jugs of hand sanitizer that have been here for probably a decade, along with various kinds of wipes, etc. along with gigantic packages of toilet paper and paper towels. My BIL has thought this to be ridiculous, saying that he goes by a supermarket every day when he goes to his athletic club, and can buy anything that's needed (which may not be so true these days), adding that these hand sanitizers deteriorate somewhat over time (he's a healthcare/cosmetic chemist). I tended to agree that this is excessive, but now I'm thinking we may actually end up having a need for all this stuff! We can't go visit our mother because of the NH lock down, so there is less need to go out very often.
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You can minimize risk right now by limiting visitors, though I'm guessing these are not volunteers but professional staff taking proper precautions. If your grocery store has a delivery service that will further limit your risks. I have self-isolated before when sick with a cold or similar and my folks with whom I live have not gotten it...I go into the kitchen off hours and with clean hands etc. Now if they get it (dad is active, out there, volunteering etc) all hell will break lose and I will be the one at risk. Neither care, and one of them can't due to dementia; they can somewhat function..it would be easier for me and my pup to go to a hotel then a change of environment for my mother...But gees, it's a scary thought....
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I am the full-time caregiver for my bed bound Loved One (LO). I know a cold is a lot less extreme than the Coronavirus. But, the time I caught a cold, I had to take care of her before it went away. The round-the-clock RNs weren't doing a decent job and were wildly expensive. With a little luck and some help from the Lord, my LO did not catch my cold. Here is what I did: I set up a mask and glove station right outside her bedroom. Because of the setup, I couldn't forget to mask and glove up before entering her room. That station also included a trash container. Everytime I went into her bedroom, I put on a mask and gloves. I tossed the mask every day and the gloves every time I used them. Then, I washed my hands over and over and over with hot, soapy water.
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I will be staying at home unless I am hospitalized for quarantine. I have a caregiver that comes 6 days a week for my back up plan. Maybe you should consider calling an agency and ask if they will have anyone available in case you need someone. Also contact you local Council on Aging for advice. Maybe your church can help out? Very good question and others in the group here should start putting a plan together
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This is a very good question. Does your doctor or social worker have any advice? If she were to catch covid-19, the hospital may not even take her unless she has life-threatening illness. We are in uncharted territory now, and are all learning as we go along.
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Thanks for this thread and to all for the very useful tips. I was thinking about my Plan B just this morning and this is what I think I would do.

1. Ask my mom's main carer - who's been at home for 2 weeks now - to move in with my mother. She has a little dog who's really frightened by our cat, so the cat has to be in another place.

2. Isolate in my home with my cat.

3. Iv'e sent this morning to my 2 best friends an updated list of the most important contacts and will send them encrypted instructions for everything asap.

For now I can't think of anything else without feeling my brain going numb.
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Soap and water is best but sanitizer is portable and easy to use for in between washing your hands.

This recipe was shown on our local news channel for homemade sanitizer.

1/3 cup aloe vera gel
2/3 cup of 99% rubbing alcohol
Mixing bowl
A spoon or whisk
A clean empty container such as a plastic travel bottle or a pump bottle

Simply stir ingredients and pour into container. You may also add a few drops of essential oil for a pleasant scent.
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Arwen31 Mar 2020
Brilliant! Thank you!!
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Take every precaution that We have been advised to take and isolate yourselves and Pray none of you contract this awful virus. Washing your hands as often as possible is vital.
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Good idea whoever gets sick to move into the RV.

I doubt that both you and your husband would come down sick at the same time.

I think You would be able to get help to watch your mom if ya'll were both sick and out of the house but it would be too expensive at $10 - $12 an hr 24 7.

Hhopefully you could find a Nurse Student needing to earn some money to live in for a couple weeks to a month.

I have 24 7 Care for my 95 yr old father living in hos own home.

I go there to visit and bring him groceries.

If I get sick I would just order and have his groceries delivered.

Im praying the Caregivers don't get my Dad sick.
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KathyMazie2019 Mar 2020
As a paid caregiver, I would hope that I would not get infected by my clients. Much more my concern than them getting infected by me.
We receive all kinds of updates from the county about keeping our clients safe. None of it addresses what caregivers should do if clients become ill with this super-virus. If I become ill...no caregiver. I
I would tend to think that there will be a shortage of caregivers willing to accept jobs with infected clients. We have families also that we would not want to expose.
We also face a lack of income if we come to the point of needing or deciding to self-quarantine. Personally, I see this up and coming in my near future.
Believe me, as low-paid home caregivers, we don't know what's comjng our way or how to handle it if it does.
Very anxiety-producing amongst those of us who cannot isolate from sick people.
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If you got sick, most likely your loved one would have already been exposed since you can be contagious for several days before you have symptoms. If you are relatively healthy - no cardiac disease, stable blood pressure, no respiratory problems, and no immune problems - you should have a very mild course of disease (think cold or flu symptoms for 2 weeks).

Put good practices into place now. Keep 6 feet from loved one. Practice good hand washing techniques (consider hand and fingers have 6 surfaces to clean while singing happy birthday song twice). Frequently disinfect surfaces that are touched often: knobs, buttons, counters... If you must be close to mom to loved one to provide care, consider washing hands before and after care and "breathing" away from loved one's face.
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I actually came down with Influenza Type A while on a cruise ship in February. I had a horrible cough, high fever, body aches, headache and all that goes along with it. I went to the ER for a diagnosis and chest x-ray.

Luckily, my brother had my Mom for his two weeks and kept her for the extra two weeks it took me to feel human again. It has been a month and I still have an occasional fever and cough but am keeping my distance from Mom, washing my hands frequently and taking all the precautions recommended by the CDC. I have groceries delivered and even cancelled Mom's last hair appointment at the salon. I don't see any reason to take her to places to be exposed. I guess we are in "quarantine" by choice!

If I had not had my brother to help, I have no idea how I would have managed care for Mom when I was so ill.
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2020
How common is it to get sick on a cruise? Were any of the other passengers sick? I just heard that the staff gets sick frequently because of living in very close quarters. They pass along the sickness to the passengers.
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No ethical SNF or AL will take an admission right now and even a week or so ago, they wouldn't take someone who had been exposed.

Also, if your mom is already on hospice care, a simple cold would also likely hasten her death. So, as much as you would not want her to be exposed to COVID-19, if you're using precautions, you should feel no special guilt if it happens. If you get a mild case, and can still function well, I would feel less guilt in caring for my mom myself than I would in bringing caregivers into my home, knowing they'll be exposed.
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KaleyBug Mar 2020
This is how I feel. We let one care giver go temporarily. If I get it I hope its mild. Moms on Hospice dad is good. We live across the street. Dr said all caregivers coming in need to be screened. So one care giver we had to suspend right now do to allergies. Impossible to tell when screening if exposed, except by temperature. As a caregiver get enough sleep and drink lots of fluids.
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To be on safe side, wear mask 😷 & wash hands often.
I’m taking care of my mother in house too...& I avoid crowds ...but go to supermarket & drug store to pick up her scripts & replenish supplies...some supplies I get online from Walmart.com ...& I’m taking extra vitamins C ...if all else fails, & I have to stay away from her..I’ll stay upstairs....I have some hours from private pay aide. & wear mask 😷 if I get sick...
G-d protect us caregivers
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
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Online food & goods shopping is a good idea if their zip code is served (assuming packagers and deliverers won't "contaminate" the items). If elders can't do online shopping themselves, you can help remotely with screen-sharing software.
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kbuser Mar 2020
The screen-sharing software is an excellent idea! I had spoken to my county's ADRC and asked them about how the elderly manage to order online (it can be complicated, and I order my for my mom). She mentioned they go to the elder's home and guide them, but doing it remotely via screen sharing makes much more sense.
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ive been caring for my 88 yr old mom since dad died in aug 2018 and last week she started coughing and of course i became alarmed - contacted dr and she said rest, fluids etc....then saturday i came down with body aches, sunday 99.9 fever and monday cough.....i distanced myself from mom as much as possible but when you are a caregiver to someone who needs your help its almost impossible.....yesterday she came down with 99.9 fever....contacted dr and waiting to hear back....issue is they dont want you taking them out, even if mildly ill...so there is nothing you can do....and honestly, my mom would never want to be on ventilator etc so i honestly dont know what i would do if she started having respiratory issues....she has heart failure, diabetes and hypertension......i fear if this gets worse in USA and more elderly get sick, we will have to make some really horrible decisions......is it possible that mom and i have a mild case of cov19? maybe - i contacted my dr and you need to have a fever of 100.4 to be tested......but best advice - stay home and hope for the best unless you cant breathe....
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