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Anyone have a loved one that went into assisted living and ended up in memory care because STAFF recommended it and family went along? The meds seem to make it worse. Trazodone? What is it for? Sleep? She is so anxious and it is ridiculous. She was fine before these meds. Was on Sertraline and went straight to Trazodone, been on it for months. Doesn't seem to help, so why keep giving it to her?

My fingers are getting cramped from typing niece and POA over and over. That is all they need to know.
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Reply to Sandra2424
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MAYDAY Oct 6, 2026
Your typing to niece and POA is your decision; you don't need to, you want to be on this forum, like so many of us. It does help to get others' views and experiences..
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Mayday, Medical director cannot discuss this with anyone other than niece who is POA. How can we make this any clearer? Are you joking about them moving someone to memory care to open up beds in AL or other areas? You must know that there are strict medical and psychiatric requirements to be placed in MC? What a weird thing to suggest to a family member who has very little information about any of this.
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MAYDAY Oct 6, 2026
sandra,
I am just referring to a similar situation my friend went through with her mom regarding her mother and that place wanting to transfer mom into MC.. needless to say,my friend did move her out of that facility into a better place. I agree it should not happen, but it actually did. Thank God my friend is such a good involved caregiver. This incident happened about 8 years ago. Mom is now showing a bit of declining, and is now in assisted Living. Yes That Did Happen !
Now regarding the meds, a LO, can ask a director a question. The director would most certainly explain, as you did, they can only discuss such information to the POA or guardian. Sometimes people need to hear it from the horse's mouth. Let her find out, it never hurts to ask, geez.
But if she is pressing the same questions and starts bothering the facility Staff, that may actually give facility and POA reasons to stop her visitations.

OH BOY!! NOW MY hands ARE SO TURED FROM RESPONDING to this text..
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You can tell the OP doesn’t like the answers she gets to her questions because she doesn’t seem to be responding in any of her threads to questions or to give follow-ups. She just starts another thread leaving out pretty important context. She is on the road to being completely banned from contact with her SIL.
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Reply to ShirleyDot
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Here are your other posts:

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/niece-has-poa-and-is-trying-to-make-a-case-against-us-for-phone-calls-and-visits-based-solely-on-her-499715.htm

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/being-locked-up-in-memory-care-seems-cruel-especially-for-someone-who-knows-whats-going-on-499622.htm

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/my-sister-in-law-was-put-in-memory-care-and-doesnt-want-to-be-there-499354.htm

Please stop meddling and second-guessing your niece's decisions. Just the fact of how many posts youve made on this topic means you don't understand the situation or are in deep denial about it. Your SIL made your niece (her own daughter) her PoA, and NOT YOU. Stop trying to insert yourself -- you seem to be making the situation worse and that's why you're being blocked.

If you want to visit, maybe extend an olive branch and ask for a supervised visit with your niece present.
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Medication is between the doctor and the POA only. They know what's going on with the patient and everybody else's opinions are irrelevant. The POA does have the right to prevent you from seeing or speakig with your loved one if you're causing too much interference or anxiety for her. Be aware of that.
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There is a black box warning for this med. It says its for depression.

I just skimmed your previous posts. I would wonder if you have too much to say about your SILs care. I would like to know how you know anything about her meds? Since you are not the POA, you should not be privy to this information. And the POA does not need to give you any info about Mom. Actually, she shouldn't as Moms representative.

If its true that when you call SIL and visit she gets anxious, then yes the niece can ban you from visiting. This is not good for SIL. And yes, staff can recommend MC. Maybe SIL is an escape artist or her care now is more than the AL can give. They can also recommend that certain people not visit because it upsets the resident.

I understand that this is a SIL and at one time maybe you were close but the Dementia mind changes things. Maybe your too involved, if so, you need to back off. Let niece do what she was assigned to do, make decisions for Mom when she no longer can. If you interfer too much, you may not be given anymore info and niece has a right to withhold it per her POA.

P.S. I have a SIL that I get along very well with. And I can see her giving my daughters her opinions and even though the love her, they would not appreciate it. They are both grown adults in their 40s. They don't need someone telling them how to care for their Mom. One is an RN who works in LTC.
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Some people have what is described as a paradoxical effect with Trazodone. It was prescribed for me when they took away my (very effective) benzodiazepine so that I could remain on a low dose of mild pain medication. I had been stable on both for years, but everything went crazy in 2016 with the so-called "opioid crisis". Trazodone made me feel "wired" and was very unpleasant. It went in the garbage along with the kitty litter after the first two or three doses.
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Sandra2424 Oct 4, 2026
Trazadone has been used forever. What are your medical qualifications to give misinformation to a family member who does not have a basic understanding of what is going on? They need accurate info and can only get it from the POA., who gets the information from SIL's doctor. You basically told this family member to throw out the meds.
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Both these drugs are technically antidepressants, but trazodone is very rarely used for that anymore. It’s given for sleep in sub clinical doses for depression because doctors dislike prescribing controlled substances like benzodiazepines.
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Going from assisted living to memory care is how dementia works. It gets worse, it’s a degenerative condition. The staff presumably recommends the move when they can see the patient needs more care. And since the staff is doing most of the caregiving they probably would know.

What is trazodone for? And then complaining she has anxiety? A Google search could have told you trazodone is for anxiety so if anything maybe she needs it plus more, not to be taken off of it.

If you really have the best interests of the patient involved ask some polite questions of whoever makes her medical decisions. Complaining on the internet about things you haven’t even done a basic search for the answers is weird.
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MG8522 Oct 3, 2026
This poster has another thread complaining that the niece who has POA is trying to cut off her access to whoever the person in question is. I think the attitude here of undermining valid decisions illustrates why.
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Make your moments with LO happy..
The niece holds all the cards. She knows you are not comfortable his things are going.caregiving , geez, things can turn in an instant.
Please take it easy with your niece. Don't upset her.
You need to be able to visit LO as much as you want. Put a smile on your face, . Tell your niece, family and the staff you know they will do the best for LO.. niece doesn't want to harm the LO..
I'm sure she loves LO too. I don't feel there is anything vindictive going on. It's just a decision that had to be made..
I feel your frustration. I was there when my LO was placed.. it's hard..
hugs..
😞🙏
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Reply to MAYDAY
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The forum members aren’t medically trained and certainly can’t evaluate the medication needs of a person we don’t know, or if the setting they are living in is appropriate. Your questions are better asked of the director where she lives, her doctors, and the POA over her care.
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Sandra2424 Oct 4, 2026
Daughterof 1930, Since the niece has POA, do not suggest bothering the facility administration, staff, or doctors about any concerns. They will not be able to discuss anything with OP regarding SIL. The niece is the ONLY one who decides what information is shared. This will only cause more stress between OP and niece. This is poor advice which should not be followed. Niece is in charge. Please do not stress the staff about this and become an interfering family member.
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Whoever has medical POA makes the decisions on medications. AL and MC have arrangements with medical providers who are in-house or visit on a schedule, because many residents prefer that or have no one to set up outside appointments for them, and these providers are usually very experienced with seniors' health issues. But if you have POA you can reject their recommended changes, or not even have them seen by the facility's medical providers if you want to take her to ones outside.
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MAYDAY Oct 3, 2026
Set up an appointment with the in house medical director and do go over all the medications and all the side effects etc..
MG8522 states you may be able to switch them up etc.
or to the extreme and have LO evaluated for hospice care, in which most likely, meds will be stopped.
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Perhaps staff needed a bed for their next resident, and the easiest way to make room is to put your LO in memory care?
And how long was she on sertraline? And if she was on that a long time, the side effects can be alarming if she went off that cold turkey.
Look up BRAIN ZAPPING and sertraline .
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Reply to MAYDAY
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MAYDAY Oct 3, 2026
trazadone is not supposed to be habit forming, like ambien is. Maybe seraquil might work better ? It's usually for sundowners ..
TRAZ can cause tinnitus, ringing in ears..
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