My father recently moved in with me, he is 75 years old and I am having a hard time managing the follow up appointments, coordinating referrals and just doing these admin things. I don't know how to address this with a full time job and other commitments.
Anyone have tips?
How do you guys manage this much level of work? Is this a suck it up and move on situation?
I made a Master File, using 4 or 6 section classification folders, depending how complicated your Dad's health situations are. Decide on the Categories that you need to know about Dad. Examples:
Section 1: A list of Dad's compete personal info, including SS number, Medicare Number, his list of doctors (Primary and Specialists) with their phone numbers, office hours and physical addresses, and what exactly they are treating him for.
Section 2: Calendar. (copy the blank pages of a Dollar Store calendar, and add appt dates & times with each Doctor, as they are made). Doing a visual really helps. When leaving an appt, book the next one before you leave! Ask for a card with the info, or a Post It note, and stick it in your file.
Section 3: Appt. Chart. Make a table in MS Word, with columns for the date, time, reason, Doctor and results. List any pending issues not solved with the appt. and what the next plan is. Categorize them by type (First, Follow Up, Test).
Section 4: Medicare Info/Costs. Do another table, showing the date, type of Medicare plan, Customer Service number, etc. Include financial info, co-pay amounts, dates paid & check number, all easy to see on one page.
Section 5: Medications. Make a list of HIS current meds, doses, and who prescribed them. iNCLUDE REFILL DATES. Allow space for changes. Everyone wants to know the current meds!
Section 6: Miscellaneous.
-Include each Doctor's Internet PORTAL, you will sign up on and decide a Sign In & Password. You may end up with 4-5 Portals.
-Emergency Numbers (family members, home & work numbers)
-Hospital and ER you will be using (address, numbers)
Once you create a Master File, it will save you so much stress and trouble! Use a regular file, or a binder, with subject tabs. Take it along for appts. you attend. This way you have everything in ONE PLACE. His Doctors will be impressed...and see you are on the ball. It will lessen that overwhelmed feeling.
PS: I'd hide it from Dad, if he has dementia he may tear it all up. Just tell him you are "tracking his appointments."
As far as the annual selection of Medicare Plans, go to:
WWW.EHEALTH.COM
Put in your zip code, and all the possibilities for your location pop up to compare. You have "Open Enrollment" every October 15. See which of his Doctors are on various plans, if he needs to pay extra per month, needs medications covered, etc. Deadline to sign up with his chosen plan is December 10. Once that chore is done, the rest is easy.
The new Plan starts Jan. 1st of each year.
With the work involved, make sure Dad pays you monthly rent, utilities, food, etc.
He has some form of income and you need compensation. Otherwise, pay someone out of his money. You need to be a signer on his checking acct, of course.
You will get good advice here, so I hope you listen to it.
If you must pay them, pay with your Father's income.
For Seniors on Social Security and Medicare, October is a very busy month.
This year brings extra responsibility to choose a health plan that benefits
your Father's needs, because so many plans have changed, dropped benefits,
changed providers/doctors have left the plan, etc.
Yes, it's a whole lot of paperwork, learning, and time-sensitive actions needed.
Get help early.
What is his financial situation?
Do you want your father to be living with you for the long term? Was it your choice, or were you pressured or guilted into it, or was it expected and you just went along? Aside from the extra admin work, is his presence disruptive for you?
This board is so full of wise advice, just asking in case you want to discuss other aspects of the situation, since it is a major change for you.
This certainly isn't easy, especially with a full time job. It isn't a matter of sucking it up as it is being self-compassionate and realizing that you need to make some changes to manage 'new' needs / responsibilities.
My suggestions to support you: (based on my working with 4-6 clients a week with varying schedules and needs). I was organized and able to do it !
1. Hire someone - even for 1-2 hours initially to work with you to get organized.
Ask whoever you can for support / help. An hour here and there will help you alot.
2. Write a list - to do's ... do a little at a time.
3. Definitely keep a journal (I use a pad of paper dating every page and every activity (and conversation) - to have a day-to-day tracking of what you did, who you spoke to, their contact #s, and follow up needed. I do this for EVERYTHING, every call ... so I have a record to refer to - it comes in handy. I date every page at the bottom (learned this working w/attorneys.
5. Breathe, exercise, eat health as you can, get as much sleep as you can.
6. Keep all records, documents.
a. Use file folders to keep things separate and organized, i.e., Medical prescriptions, Med Appts., Contacts/addresses
b. Sometimes an according A-Z or 1-30/31 file works well. If he has an appt on the 18th, file it for the 18th and look in that file 1-3 days ahead of time.
7. Always ... ALWAYS keep his expenses and payments separate from yours.
Do not co-mingle.
It is important to keep separate, esp if he is entitled to any gov't funding / financial support.
8, Be flexible. Whatever work(s) for me may not work for you.
Find your rhythm and be okay w changing 'a system' that isn't working for you to one that might be better. Nothing is written in stone.
It is overwhelming to many. Like a deer in the headlights. It is not easy to manage, esp when it is new.
Its like an avalanche and you need to learn how to ... get out of it or better yet, prepare so you don't end up in one! Remember to be kind to yourself.
Lastly,
1. Remember you deserve a life, outside of work and managing your dad's needs/care.
2. Consider if this shared living situation is the best for you and your dad. This may be a question down the road and you'll still have the 'paperwork' mania... plan ahead as best you can.
Gena / Touch Matters
You can hire someone to manage his appointments, fill out paperwork, and even take him to medical appointments.
Is your father not able to manage any of this on his own? I would let him if he can.
You say he only recently moved in with you. I'm sure the initial medical visits and paperwork and subsequent referrals feel like a lot now, but once he gets settled into a routine with his doctor(s), you can skip the paperwork, schedule out quarterly, or semi-annual visits for the next year and add them to your calendar now, so it's not a constant scheduling thing.
I am 77, still drive so does my DH and he is approaching 80. We are still capable of caring for ourselves. Still make our own appts and just arranged a referral for my husband. ( he is deaf) Don't enable or disable Dad. My doctors send me confirmations of appts and reminders on my cell. Set boundaries for yourself. You know the saying "while under my roof", that pertains to Dad now. There is a post now where Dad took over the OPs house. Drs now have portals you know can set up. This would help you know, if Dad goes to the Dr alone, what went on in the visit.
Appts, I cut down on my Moms. Her PCP was having her come in every two months. By law you only have to see a Dr every 6 months to renew meds. She was only on cholesterol and B/P meds. She went back when she needed to. Her gastrologist, once she was stable 1x a year. Her encronologist, every 6 months because of stability. IMO, once you are stabilized with some specialists, your PCP should be able to take over. You go back to the specialist if needed. I would have his Meds looked over by PCP. My Mom was on some from a hospital stay that were no longer needed.
I would call your County Office of Aging and ask if they provide Senior bussing. If so and he can go to the doctors alone, he can take the bus. They take people shopping too. Our County has transit bussing from town to town.
Referrals. I have the care of my disabled nephew. And of course, DH and I are having some small problems. I find that when given referrals for my nephew because the practice is based in a city 45 min to an hour away and they are part of a Hospital group they want to send him there. He does not drive. I will not drive in cities and not in unknown areas anymore. So, he needs to go somewhere closer. For us, we live closer to a boarding state but when we get referrals, we are directed to Drs up North farther away then the boardering State. So we pick someone closer by. Because a doctor refers you to another doctor does not mean you have to use them. Who Dad goes to should be whoever is more convenient for you.
What is your Dad's health issues that he needs to go so often?
Also, I hope you are having your Dad pay a share of rent, utilities and food.