I am not having an affair, but he continues to think I am. Last night, I got up to go to the bathroom at 3 am and when I came back to bed, he started screaming at me that I was out all night and started slapping me. I was able to get away and slept downstairs. This morning he didn't remember anything about it. A few months ago, the same thing happened and he tried to choke me. What should I do?
It's a hard terrible choice to make, but if he was not a violent person to begin with, he would not want this for either of you. For your safety and his, it's time to get outside help.
If this is a new symptom, it represents a "change in mental status" and needs to be reported to the doctor who is following his dementia.
Has he been checked for a UTI? Could it be that he needs a medication adjustment? I like to think of dementia as "broken brain syndrome"; depending upon the kind of dementia, you never know just HOW the broken-ness is going to express itself.
Involve his doctor in the solution to this; clearly, if this situation continues, it will change your ability to care for him at home. Make sure the doctor understands that this is a game-changer for you.
if it was me, i'd make a change before it's too late!
God speed
This can be common with Lewy Body Dementia or Alzheimer's.
You need to protect yourself.
You need to place him where you will be safe as well as him.
He needs to be evaluated and on proper medications. The reason for the proper diagnosis is that the medications for Lewy Body are/can be quite different than with other Dementia. If the wrong medication is given to a person with Lewy Body it can be fatal.
Protecting yourself is priority. (A friend of mine woke up when her husband had his hand around her throat and a knife in his other hand)
PLEASE talk to your doctor about this or his. This is not something that he is aware that he is doing it is the disease but the outcome can be bad either way. And if you are injured you will not be able to care for him properly, and it will be as if your family is suffering two losses.
2. Others suggest getting his doctor involved - ABSOLUTELY.
3. Depending on what Doc can do (as others say some medication can help) will determine what direction you need to go.
If medication helps, great. Again, from reading other posts the right medication may be a trial and error game - some work, some do not and from reading other posts the cause of the dementia is important (may need neuro doc for this, not just a GP/primary care).
In either case, until you can find a solution (it may be getting him into a care facility), can you sleep in another room, preferably with a lock on the door? It does not sound like there are issues during the day hours, so to protect yourself a locked room would be the way to do that while you get working on resolving this.
Final note: IGNORE Dontask comments. He/She does NOT even support your statement about not having an affair. I would NEVER listen to someone who quite clearly doesn't trust you! Typically the responses, suggestions, explicit instructions and run on about his/her own experiences often have NOTHING to do with the question posed. This is NOT about who owns the house, nor is this *really* a police matter. The man has dementia and this is NEW behavior, so clearly there needs to be a medical intervention - either medication or placement elsewhere, but meanwhile the poster can protect herself if she can sleep in another room with a locked door while working out what needs to be done.
You must preserve your safety while you are trying to help stabilize your husbands behavior. This is not your husband doing this, it is the disease. You must protect yourself from this disease and he would want you to. It is hard, but if he harms you seriously, you will not be able to care for him. Protecting yourself is also a way to protect your husband.
Just another phase in the sickness. I have told my husband if he hits me he will be place in a home. Says he would never hit me ,but you never know.
Stay safe..Do what you have to do to protect yourself..
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