Quality of food in assisted living facilities. What's the best way to check up on the food other than spending mealtime there?

I had good food at the NH I was in except for head chef’s vacation week. My uncle’s nursing home food is good. I have eaten there many times. I had fresh vegetables and fruit every day.

The Assisted Living facility my friend is at serves nothing but prepackaged junk food. Nothing even remotely healthy. These places charge exorbitant fees yet buy the cheapest, unhealthiest food available. Mostly breads and pastas and cheap, sugar loaded cereals usually marketed to children. The only vegetables they serve are canned. Sometimes the owner would splurge and buy frozen, but for the most part, it's the very type of food that got the residents sick in the first place. I took pictures of the stocked kitchen and sent them to the Ombudsman.

The sweets are overstocked. Lots of brownies, cakes, pudding, soda, kid's cereal, and candy. All highly inflammatory foods. Every disease is caused by chronic inflammation in the body.
My friend has a crock pot, a microwave, and a Nutribullet in his room. He used them often until he started declining & stopped having a desire for food.

I live in assisted living - two places now. I assure you the food is INSTITUTIONAL........first of all, all places work on a budget amount for whatever the topic is and they don't budge. Their job is to provide AT THE LOWEST COST....JUST A FACT OF BEING IN BUSINESS. Second of all, they have people who look only at the food and calories and nutritional value and by law there are certain minimum mandates they must adhere to (not what you and I would like or recommend). Third, no matter what you are told, almost no kitchen prepares the food from scratch - like if you bring it home from the store. Everything brought into these facilities comes from mass producers who package and do whatever with the food before it reaches its destination - all prepared, packaged and frozen before it is sent out. It will never, ever resemble out of the store to the plate food - nothing tastes as good, it is often so bland, sometimes horrible. Then you have state laws which demand you cook it to a certain temperature which means it is dried out and overcooked. You get it, you are hungry, you force yourself to eat it if you can and maybe are sick afterwards. If you are lucky you may find a few good meals among all of them. I will be 88 and can't walk (which is why I am in assisted living) but I am 100% high functioning, still work two jobs (51 years and still loving it and also 15 years as a Power of Attorney). I thank god daily I kept my car and can safely drive so I can go out to eat and go to the store. I have no stove but I have learned many tricks to prepare nice meals using a microwave and other methods so I can prepare my own food. The food is most places is horrible - don't ever NOT BELIEVE THAT - it is true!

To all who decide to "bash" people for speaking the truth about circumstances and their situations, instead of telling them to leave or move or do this or that, CONSIDER THE FACT THAT THERE JUST MAY BE REASONS THAT DO NOT MAKE THAT POSSIBLE. I am not going to dignify this bashing by giving examples of why some "obvious" moves are not possible - but believe me, there are often very legitimate, valid reasons for someone NOT being able to leave and go elsewhere or live differently. But until you find out those reasons, you will continue to put that person down and that is just unkind, rude, and downright mean. Wait until this all happens to you - then you will see what I mean.

We sat with my MIL a few times through her lunch in her memory care center, and I'd have loved a plate. The "salads" were wimpy, but those pork chops and mashed potatoes looked a whole lot better than the chips and hummus, or peanut butter, or leftovers that I was going home to! And the desserts!
Mom continued to lose weight because she was a poor eater, but most of the residents looked well-nourished and enjoyed the meals and snacks there.
Maybe you can drop in at meal time, and if the food looks good, ask if you can have a plate, which they'll add it to the monthly bill.

My dad was in an assisted living and then moved to a separate different memory care. He has said he doesn't like the food in either. I have sat with him and can tell you that many times it smells just plain mouthwatering and he still says he doesn't like it. Yes, at times it's a matter of his personal preferences and dislikes, but I think he's just lost his appetite for food and uses "doesn't taste good" as his excuse.

Food preferences are subjective. A good assisted living provides options. Can you look at a couple of menus? Up until the last few years, institutional cooking incorporated a lot of shipped in food that was reheated. Similar to what we were served in elementary school in the 60s/70s. Lots of cream based sauces. We experienced that in one of the good nursing homes where he went through rehab. They simply did not have a kitchen preparation facility. Another rehab facility / nursing home served simple foods that children like (pudding, jello, grilled cheese, etc.) which my father with dementia liked. The memory care he lived in shared meal facilities with assisted living and those residents wanted more balanced and nutritious meals with more options, like a restaurant. It's very important that all residents get nutritious, balanced and good tasting meals.

Your sister may have had a habit of "exaggerating", but when it comes to institutional food, a lot of people in institutional settings (school, camp, military etc), will claim that "everyone" agrees the food is "awful". And it only takes a few to qualify as "everyone". It may not be really terrible, but it's never as good as at home or in a restaurant of ones choice.
Take a look at the the menus. What specific items does she dislike? Are there choices? Is there variety in the choices? Try to get your sister to be specific...is the food bland? (Often low salt is standard in health care facilities). If so, could she add seasonings of her own? Or are there seasonings she does not like. Are gravies or sauces used and does she like these? Are the meals hot when served? Sometimes by the time meals actually get to the recipient they are cold or nearly so. If that's the case, can they be heated? Are there items she likes that could be kept on hand and added to the meals prepared.
Short of actually sharing a few meals with her, you may not be able to tell. It could be that the food is actually sub par, but it could also be she is just tired of food that is mediocre or lacking the special touches that she likes.
A friend of mine, whose husband was confined to a "Covid locked down" nursing home, wanted to do something special for his birthday. He had been craving a certain fast food hamburger with fries. She was not allowed to bring it to him, (I'm not sure it was really on his diet) but the nursing supervisor (after some convincing) agreed to order for him and have it delivered. She was on hand when masked restaurant employees brought it to the door of the facility and handed it in. Everyone sang happy birthday and the patient was actually in tears, he was so grateful for his "birthday dinner".

My brother is in a nursing home paid by Medicaid in California and this is definitely a real problem. Since my brother has been known to exaggerate I made friends with some of the other patients and asked them about the food. They said it was horrible. When I reported this to the Department of Licensing for Nursing Homes, they said they talked to patients and no one complained. I don't believe a word of what they said. I have seen some of the meals before Covid and they are not good. All the while, the Administrator and top staff drive Mercedes, Range Rovers, etc. Something is definitely wrong.

"...she has been known for many years for exaggerating or telling "white lies"."

This along with dementia might result in a lot of complaining. It happens. Claiming "everyone" agrees could be part of her exaggerating. Same for the food being "awful."

The type of care facility available 15 years ago may not be comparable to facilities today. But, not all facilities are created equal. It's unfortunate you had to move her in 6 months ago, when you wouldn't be able to fully vet the place. My general recommendation to people is to use ALL your senses when checking out places: See, hear, smell, taste, touch. Don't rely on ratings or brochures. Go at different times of day. Chat with residents (non-dementia) or staff in the halls. Observe the MC area, if/when possible. However, at the time you moved her, that wouldn't have been possible due to the virus.

As more residents and staff are vaccinated, sooner or later, if not already, you should be able to join her for visits and meals. If you aren't allowed in the dining area, perhaps you can arrange to share a meal outside?

Many times I'd join mom for lunch, dinner, special meals and the BBQs they would have often. Except for special meals and BBQs, I didn't preplan joining her for the meal, so what I got was normal fare for everyone. Mom's place always had choices. Soups, Salads & dressing. Two different main courses and you could pick/choose the veggies. The meals were good. My mother gained 20# in her first year there, but that was a combination of sitting too much (her choice) AND those lovely chocolate covered ice cream bars!

You always have someone who balks at some or all of the food. They sometimes had those new blue potatoes, and my mother wouldn't eat them! Someone at 97 would prefer what they are used to, not this "new fangled" stuff! Often she would pick breading off anything, whether it be a sandwich or lightly breaded chicken. It was not bad food, she just didn't want it. I'd seen her do it at fast food places. Rice? Forget it! I love rice, no clue why she hated it.

I see a lot complaining about bland foods, no seasoning, etc. Mom's place wasn't like that. Normal salt used to prepare most meals isn't going to impact most - it's bad for those who don't even taste the food put in front of them without dousing it in salt first! Personally, there are very few things I even like salted - just what's needed to prepare it. We ALL need some salt, just not a coating of it! For sure, there's likely excess sodium in many pre-packaged foods (sugar too!!!!), so it is better to avoid those and stick with REAL food prepared before a meal. See this, esp the last 5 paragraphs:

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/6-dangers-of-sodium-restriction#TOC_TITLE_HDR_8

The best solution to determine if your sister's complaints are real is to find ways to join her for meals without prior warning. Needing an extra meal or two shouldn't be a big deal. For the special days, so many might join that they generally would need/want a head count. Go at lunch here and there. Go for dinner sometimes. I do know they served the primary meal at noon on Sundays, so the evening meal was sandwiches - you might have to check with them about that. I never did breakfast, but mom generally ate cereal in her own place - most likely she continued with that and OJ. They did have eggs. pancakes, waffles, bagels, etc for those who wanted them. There was even a day when she had breakfast, and then forgot and demanded breakfast! They gave it to her.

If you can randomly show up and have a meal with her, you can see for yourself. I wouldn't listen to what too many residents say and if staff doesn't eat the food, how would they know? I'd even brought my own meal and joined them. Random days and meal times a few times/week for a few weeks should tell you all you need to know. If you find the food decent and good tasting, she's either just complaining because she can or she just doesn't like what's offered.

I certainly can't comment on food during the Covid situation.
When my mom was in a skilled nursing facility in 2017, family was welcome to eat as well. We were even given a meal the evening she passed. Honestly, the food was very GOOD. I agree with your suspicions regarding quality.
Now that my dad is residing in my home, I can see his appetite is diminishing. My cooking skills are pretty good, and I'm trying to make them elder friendly as possible.
There are lots of things going on... loss of sense of smell and other senses, meal times that are odd, food temps, feeding difficulties, and lack of really great cultural cooks in group settings.
Can you ask for / or view the weekly menu? Are you allowed to have food from home or restaurants delivered. Will Nutritionist/Charge Nurse/ Resident Advocate/ Social Service speak to you?
I am so sorry your sister is unhappy with what she is served.

Imho, it very well could be the fact that the food is not inedible, though not satisfying to the palate. My own late mother, though not in an AL but an NH, was served something that she had never consumed before - a taco with the side of lettuce, tomato, cheese and salsa. My brother exclaimed "This is cold" referring to the salsa. I said to him and my mother "Yes, it's supposed to be cold; it's salsa." I then gave my mother an example of how to eat it.

My sister moved into IL in mid-December. At that time the food quality was decent, but delivered to a TV tray outside their rooms due to Covid, Sometimes my sister was asleep when the food came and didn't hear them knock on her door, so when she got the food it was cold. Now they have opened the dining room, and insist that all residents eat there. If you are ill and cannot come to the dining room, they will charge an additional $5 per meal to bring it to your room. But it still arrives cold, because it is delivered after they serve everyone in the dining room. Also, the portions have shrunk so much that one-half spring of broccoli is considered an appropriate vegetable portion. Residents are so disgusted that 8 have moved out in the last two months. They are also losing workers, so that all personnel, including the sales, cleaning, and management staff, including the van driver, are cooking and serving food, which they have no training to do. Unfortunately, we signed a one year contract to get a lower monthly payment, so moving is not an option for my sister. And this isn't a low-rent facility! We are paying $2K per month for room and board, plus another $900 per month for medication management. Anytime we complain, they remind us that this is an INDEPENDENT LIVING facility and my sister should be able to take care of herself. Totally disgusted!

Why not ask for 2 lunches and have them brought to an outside area where you both can sit and “enjoy?” lunch. you could do the same for a dinner or breakfast.
Most facilities have the menu either posted or it is available on line.
I am sure complaining about the meal is much like it has always been with school, college, and many job cafeterias.
Keep in mind that this is “facility cooking” large scale meals that have to comply with a wide variety of diets, it is not going to be like “home cooked meal”.

My Husband was never one to turn down a meal, however when he was in rehab, a man that was pretty much non verbal looked at me when I asked why he was not eating and said,”this is terrible”.

I can only answer to what I know about the two facilities my mother has resided. The first facility had better food then her current. My mother is in a MC unit which is attached to an AL facility. The food is cooked in the AL kitchen and brought upstairs, kept in warmers and then served. It is not healthy or nutritious. When we interview her current facility they told us they had a nutritionist on staff and their were menu choices for the residents. I asked employees about the nutritious & no one heard of such a person. For the first few months Mom had two choices for her meals. This changed and we were not notified. Prior to the pandemic I would visit all times of day so that I could see what they served at breakfast, lunch, & dinner. Breakfast was the best out of the three meals. They also give them snacks, not healthy either, mostly store bought cookies, granola bars, small chocolate bars. Once in a great while if the activity person is doing smoothies or baking those that attend will get to taste. Her facility is still not opened, as if 5.25.21. She has lost 28 pounds in the last year. Our mother is not a large woman so this is not a good thing. We are currently looking for a new facility however, we believe we will not find one that actually does what they say they will. If you are concerned & cannot visit during meal times ask the facility for a copy of their menu. If you are unable to choose what she eats ask them to send you what she eats on a report. They are suppose to keep this information in her file. I wish you the best.

Where my mother was living, the food used to be reasonably good, but as new management took over, it seemed to go downhill. For example, they had fish sticks or similar preparation, and it was about 3/4 bread crumbs. There was a lot of salt and everything, to the point it was barely palatable. So much of it was fried--I suspect most of the fast food chains served better junk food. If I were living there, I would prefer to bring in canned food rather than eat what they usually served.

Maybe they thought hypertension was the goal instead of a detrimental condition!

Ask for a menu. When I visit my mom, the menu is posted in the elevator. I take a picture of it so I can see what meals are served for the week. When my mom first got there, she was 145 lbs. Now she is back up to 165. She has a lot more energy, looks healthier and stronger. Her AIC has been steady at 6.7 and doing great. She might not like some meals, but enjoys most. Usually the menu looks good to me! I’d love someone cooking for me😃

I've only been in a Rehab situation and not in AL, but although Rehab was in a combined AL/Nursing Home/Rehab facility, the food was the best part of my stay. I don't know how the food might have been for longer term residents, but it all came from the same kitchen, so I would hope it was as good for everyone.

Residents made selections from the menu a day ahead, and every other day the staff went shopping and would buy specially requested food items if the store carried them. The food was decently prepared and I got enormously spoiled being waited on.

Since the overall Rehab experience included a lot of negatives including neglectful, careless aides, rude, unpleasant nurses and poor and intermittent pain control, I try to remember to still give the facility kudos for the food!

I have heard so many negatives about assisted living— such as a parent not being attended to for a long time when they press the call button, to staff that sits around and texts ( they won’t show this on your tours of course), the food issue I heard about is that if a resident isn’t hungry at meal time they usually won’t try to follow up with them later and being a healthy snack or something to their room, they still fall in these places, they are a industry for profit, unless a person has no other options but to spend a lot of money for an al I would look at other options. Last week someone here said their dads assisted living demanded they pay a lot of extra money to have a private sitter for him bc he flirts w ladies there. All the money a person pays for an al is supposed to include superivision so this is a good example of how they rip people off. Another common tactic is to demand the senior is moved to the more expensive memory care unit when they don’t truly need it but bc they don’t have appropriate staff in place for supervision, it’s a good way to hike up the cost. I realize that was more than what your question was about but it’s really distressing how a lot of families pay big bucks for these places w an expectation of their loved one being cared for day and night not worrying if they haven’t eaten in days or had to call three times over an hour to have staff help them etc. Brochures I’ve seen often advertise gourmet cooking but this is part of their advertising- maybe some places here or there really do provide good quality tasty healthy meals but probably more don’t than do once the tour is over and loved ones aren’t around to see how it is

I have to be l00% honest with you. I live in assisted living for l3 years and it is considered one of the best. In all truth, the food is HORRIBLE. Everything is mass produced and is done with costs and bottom line in mind. You will NEVER, EVER GET DECENT MEALS in an institution. I don't think that ever happens - maybe there are a few special places that cost a high fortune but the majority will NOT serve good food. They have to adhere to state guidelines which, by their nature, overcook food and make it taste horrible. There is nothing anyone can do - it is just a fact in facilities. Thank god I still drive even though I will be 88 and go to the store and cook it myself using my microwave as I don't have a stove. I have figured out how to make some nice meals that I can eat and enjoy. It is very hard and I don't do it every day but at least I eat good food cooked my way and I am not sick all day in the bathroom from eating overcooked meat and food. She is telling the TRUTH. There can be a few nice meals but most are geared to the masses and are not good to eat.

First, don't take as 100% what your sister says about the food. You can always talk with the care staff about your concerns. Ask them for a menu or when you can join your sister for lunch or dinner. Mom complained all the time, but always cleaned her plate, and told everyone (except me) that the food was great.

Does she have diet requirements or is she on just a general diet. Look into how and what the menus are and listen to the staff. I found that many times I got better information from her caregivers about this kind of thing than I did Mother.

School lunch, hospital, airline food ... no one could expect that institutional food is the greatest.

if she is complaining about the food, and not the care, that is what’s important.

Maybe you can drop off one of her home cooked favorites or order her delivered food once in a while.

Now that 50% of Americans are fully vaccinated. You should be able to share mealtime together soon.

I wish I could send you pictures of the food my mom has been served during the pandemic. It would shock you. This is from a facility that looks like a country club. I don't know why people trust these facilities. I have a camera because it is a necessity in this industry. I believe sometimes people want to believe the lies these facilities tell about their "dementia" residents so they can absolve themselves from taking action to hold the facility accountable.

This answer is pre-pandemic. I wouldn't be so dismissive about complaints that the food "is just awful". Institutional food is just that -- institutional. They make big batches. I love the commercials for assisted living that show tableclothed tables with beautiful linens and china settings. They make them look like 5-star restaurants. At nursing homes, just forget it. I feel terrible for residents.

My Mom was in a so-called 5-star Medicare rated facility for rehab and they refused to let us eat with her or even sit with her in the dining room. They claimed "privacy concerns". What privacy? Residents are eating for God's sake, not getting a physical! My Mom was supposed to get help eating, but that never happened. Because she needed special assistance, she was always served last which meant her food was either tepid or cold. Who wants to eat cold food? Then when we asked for it to be reheated, we were met with eye rolls and even slower service.

My mother was eating less and losing weight.. The nurse said she wouldn't eat. Really??!! I personally observed aides (from outside the dining room window - I was outside the facility) ignore my mother when they were supposed to actually be sitting there feeding her. They were chit chatting with each other instead of the task at hand. Then they proceeded to push her back to her room. Right after they pushed her back to her room, I went into my Mom's room and found her disheveled and dilerious. She had a 102° temp and no aide even cared or noticed. I called the floor nurse and raised holy hell. It was ridiculous! After that, I insisted her meals be delivered to her room and my brother or I fed her. We reheated the food in the microwave in the common area or brought frozen dinners for her to make sure she ate. The nursing supervisor on that unit had the audacity to say they wanted to start her on a medication to help her appetite (she had no issues with appetite before entering their facility) because she wasn't eating. I told her what I observed (on numerous occasions) that the aides were ignoring and not feeding her. Of course, she's losing weight. She's not being fed! Not to mention the fact that there are generally 2 aides for every 30 residents. That's 15/1. Dressing, toileting, feeding, bathing. It's impossible. LPNs and RNs won't help aides under any circumstances.

So don't be so quick to dismiss complaints from residents, even if they have dementia. Cold crappy food is cold crappy food. Would you eat it? That's why it's SO important to keep visiting and advocating for your loved one. They can't do it themselves. They are treated as one of a number of warm bodies in an institution. If you think they are going to get the same loving care as they would at home one on one, you will be sadly mistaken. A nursing home is the end of the line. My mother was only there for rehab of a broken leg. She was healthy and eating well at home. She had osteoporosis. She died after 3 months in "rehab". I'm sorry I sound so bitter. It was an awful experience I wouldn't wish on anyone.

My mother does not really complain about the food at her assisted living residence. She does mention a lot of repetition. My own observation is that the meals are very heavy on carbohydrates (potatoes, especially) and don't include many other vegetables, fresh or not. I was also informed about the changes in an elder's ability to taste food. The residents have the choice to order off a "sub-menu" so that they could have a salad or something else instead of the main offering, but I don't think many do that. They just eat what is provided. As other posters have pointed out, it is truly "institutional cooking" so you cannot expect very much. I'd pay attention to your loved one's weight. If they are not losing a lot of weight (unless they have an underlying condition), then I wouldn't put too much stock in it.

As someone else posted.... "it's against the law not to complain about facility food".
The state regulates the nutritional value of the the food in registered facilities so it is probably the preparation that sets off most of the complaints. It is almost always low sodium because so many residents have HBP. Then there are the many other conditions the kitchen has to deal with - thickened, pureed, mechanical soft etc. and you see how it can all slide downhill. The only way you can really evaluate what she is talking about is to actually sample the food yourself. You might still have to wait though because the facilities have some leeway in following the state dept of health guidelines. Our local facilities are just opening their dining rooms to residents only this week. Families have to schedule their 30-45 min visits and they are either outside or in the rooms. Maybe they can bring both meals to her room so you can sample the dish.

(Side note: your sister is so lucky to have a sister like you!)

Don't EVER EVER EVER downplay food issues. I speak as a young senior (65 in November) who succumbed to some bully types when hospitalized last fall for a dissected aorta into going to rehab due to going home to no help...when caregiving for my elder parents. I'm here to tell you the food WAS HORRIBLE and worse. I haven't had the energy to write it all down, send in an official complaint to the state agency that handles them. Look, when you're well, it's bad enough and you're paying for it; when you're recovering good nutrition is essential. Mine was so bad I lost my appetite and told a friend any fast food meal would be healthier because at least I might eat it. You might want to check on line for the local board of health and see if they do regular inspections and that might give you something to go on, but not on taste or appeal. IT does give people something to talk about, but I'm sure they'd rather talk about something else or how good it is. My aunt still spends a fortune on groceries and stuff she can make or snack on, and what she doesn't eat goes down the disposal or to her daughter who finds some of the items acceptable....

Spending mealtimes with your sister is the only way you can evaluate the food. I doubt the food is inedible. However, your sister may be used to a certain level of "spicing" that may not be used. Most facility food tends to be a bit bland - less salt, less sugar, no hot spices... Tasting the food can let you know what if different from what your family grew up with. My husband and I make up "man boxes), sauce and spice boxes or baskets of favorites for every couple that gets married. Maybe your sister needs her own "flavor box/basket" with her favorite sauces and spice mixes to sprinkle/douse food so it tastes more like home.

My parents were in several places and they complained about the food in all of them. I ate meals at all the locations and do admit one of them had horrible food. The rest were fine.
Other than eating there yourself it is going to be difficult. Perhaps have the facility pack up a "to go" order for you and pay them for it.