I can't believe I'm back on this forum...although I missed the kindness. My dad finally passed away in March. A blessing. I've done a great job maintaining boundaries with my narcissistic mom, who is 85 and stubborn and refuses to leave an unsafe house or even get a cell phone. I'm at peace with that. But the other day, my aunt told me my mom called her because my mom had a doctor's appointment (ironically she told the doctor she doesn't have memory problems according to the notes from the visit). After the appointment she couldn't find her car in a small town. She ended up walking home (not sure why she didn't ask a stranger or go back in the doctor office) and calling my aunt. They found it in an alley (a legal spot) but still....not where my mom was convinced she'd left it. I am ok with her choice to die in her home but I'm not ok with her injuring someone else while driving. She'll never willingly give up her keys. Do I call the state (they haven't done much before)? Is forgetting where she parked enough to trigger action? She's not remotely reasonable. No point in talking to her
In FL you can go to the DMV website and there's a page where you can report an unsafe driver. I had to do this for my Aunt who had mild/moderate dementia but would not give up driving. I was able to give them her DL, recount multiple incidents and dates, tell them about her poor eyesight and make the case why she shouldn't be driving any more. In response they sent her a letter telling her she needed to come it to retake the eye exam (she had rheumatoid arthritis and had triple vision in one eye). I told everyone to not take her in for that appointment, but a dumb nephew took her. She failed the eye test and they asked her how she got there and said her nephew drove her. That was the end of her driving.
For my SFIL who had Parkinsons and Lewy Body dementia (and no PoA) we involved social services. They asked me to be in a meeting where they told him he shouldn't drive any more. I took possession of his car and he didn't fight it because I told him whenever he left his driveway I'd call the cops.
In your situation I'd report her to APS and tell them about the most recent incident (or better, send them an email so it is in writing). There is really not much you can do that she won't be able to work around at this point. She could report you for car theft, or vandelism if you disable her car. It's not a permanent enough solution. Try reporting her to APS or at least asking them how to stop her.
But you may want to ignore all of this. Unless you know for a fact mom is driving erratically. If she wants independence and is totally unreasonable to deal with, then she gets to walk home from doctors appointments and maybe grocery stores next, who knows?
At some point, you have to look out for yourself. Mother has been nothing but a drain on you for a very long time now. This is just more of the same. Your hands are tied due to her foul personality, so what's the answer? Lie awake worrying all night every night, disable her car, or put earplugs in your ears and blinders on your eyes and live your life. I'm sorry you've been put in such a position, I truly am. One day something will happen that forces mother into managed care w/o her consent and maybe then you'll be released from all this. That's my hope.