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One neighbor bought a house from an elderly neighbor who had a reverse mortgage (she was about to loose it and be homeless) they allow her to continue to live there for free. Her health is declining. So now the neighbors do all of her shopping and cook her two meals a day. She refuses to leave her home for medical care and won’t let anyone else in but them. There is no family. They are concerned they might be charged with elder abuse even though they are doing everything to help her.

I also agree that one strategy is APS. Another is to call 911 and tell them she's not herself and may have an undiagnosed UTI. I would follow her to the ER and explain she is an "unsafe discharge" and she is refusing outside help (do not tell them you've been helping her or they will pressure you to bring her back to the house).

Then ask to talk to a hospital social worker to discuss the fact that she has no family, no PoA (that you know of) and no one who can legally help her. It's possible she can go directly into a facility. Resistance, stubbornness and paranoia are hallmark behaviors of early dementia. Nothing can be done about it.

A judge assiging her a court-assigned legal guardian is really the only solution for her going forward.
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PaulC53 Nov 23, 2024
Yes I can certainly attest to those hallmark behaviors or characteristics of early and late dementia. No thanks to my Mom. What you don't know can hurt you.
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Agree, they should call APS. Nice what they have and are doing for her but she is not their responsibility. Unless she has given them POA they can't help her if she is taken to the ER. I would not want POA in a situation like this. APS maybe able to help with resourses to help keep her in her home. It will put her on their radar. It may come down that she is put in the hands of the State and a guardian appointed will be responsible for her care.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I was going to say the same thing as Alva, they should call APS , adult protective services, and that will also protect them from any one looking into them.
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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I can't know the circumstances here. Sometimes neighbors are more "family" than family is, and have many years of watching over an elder.
I would say that the neighbor should perhaps report this entire situation to authorities. By that I mean the APS (adult protective services). If there is none nearby to you I would consult a local county sheriff or the police.
This may be a matter for wellness checks. You say that the neighbor doesn't wish to go for care of any type. That may be a valid choice, but if the neighbor is mentally failing in any way, and the neighbor is enabling an unsafe situation here, that is more than any neighbor can/should take on.

The legalities of this home sale to pay off the mortgage on a home, whether the neighbor was competent to make such a sale, whether the neighbor was/is acting as POA for this friend/neighbor, all seems kind of up in the air. I think the important thing now is a simple wellness check on this woman essentially at risk because she is living alone, perhaps unsafely, and with only a "neighbor" watching over.

I would make a call, were I the neighbor, to APS and ask for a wellness check, and for options and pointers on this situation, which surely is going to get worse as time moves on.
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