How do I let go of my feelings of fear, worry, guilt, and step away from the care of my father?

During my childhood my father was physically, verbally & emotionally abusive. He was often absent, on drunken binges. I have no memories of my father being a “father”. In fact, there were times when I sought his help as a father, only to be sorely hurt by his indifference. Our relationship has always been difficult. Me fighting back (as an adult) against his abuse & seeking my father’s love. I can’t begin to describe the myriad of emotions I experience when it comes time to purchase a Father’s Day card & I read all the beautiful words describing how wonderful other people’s fathers are. Yes, in spite of what I’ve written above I have cared for & guided my father through various serious medical incidents, acting as his advocate, ensuring he receives good medical care & attends all his appointments. Yes, I have fixed & smoothed over problems of his own creation. Yes, when it became apparent that he was failing to attend to his responsibilities & becoming unable to properly care for himself, I took on those responsibilities & found a good place for him to live so that he received the care he required but still with independence in all things. Yes, I have also supported him financially. I did these things because in spite of everything I believe he is deserving of proper consideration, I feel a duty of care, & yes, I still seek his love. He has not made it easy though. Despite his age & frailness he is still very much the abuser from my childhood. Physically he is unable to hurt me, but that doesn’t stop him from threatening violence. His words are unkind & cruel. He enjoys upsetting me to the point that I get angry & then calls it a joke or accusing me of lacking a sense of humour. He is disrespectful & dismissive of me, often making cruel remarks about me to others in my presence. He lies, oh my god does he lie. He will behave like a monster to me but with the home staff, various care workers, physicians, etc. he is charming. I wish they could hear the things he says about them when they are not present. He is contemptuous of women. He has always depended on & needed women, & they have always been present in his life to support him & make his life comfortable, yet he hates women.Recently, he received a first threat of notice of eviction from the home he lives in, because he has been smoking in his room. He knows he is not allowed to. He knows there is an outdoor designated smoking area. For months I have suspected he has been smoking in his room but he denied it. Last month he lost track of time & was surprised by my scheduled visit. I witnessed & smelled the smoke from the hastily flushed cigarette he was smoking in the bathroom on my arrival. It’s almost hilarious to share this part, but his first instinct was to deny he was smoking! What followed was a heated conversation about how he cannot smoke in his room, that he must smoke outdoors. He insists that he does not smoke in his room that he only has one. He does not comprehend that that is smoking in his room! The only card I had to play was to tell him if he did not stop smoking in his room I would report him to management & the company who supplies his oxygen. Yes, he is on continuous oxygen therapy. My threat led to his threats. I did not report him. Until I did, after the 2nd time I caught him smoking in his room & after I learned others have caught him & had similar conversations with him. The argument that followed has brought us to the cusp of no contact. He blames me for the eviction notice, has called me a troublemaker (among other things) & has told me he doesn’t want to see me but that I can still take him to his appointments. I told him no, I won’t, that he is on his own — in everything. He also threatened that he has something planned & I will know about it when he does it. I know this is a toxic relationship & that I enable him, but the fear I feel for him is tremendous. The fear I feel for me is tremendous. How do I go forward?