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As the only son of my 81 year old mother, I have taken on the responsibility of caregiver since her health situation started compromising her life since mid 2021 to present. I have always worked since the age of 15, and have had to compromise with earning my income as my duties as caregiver became more of a priority and a full time role. I am not bitter about this and decided that I would also use the time at home with her to allow for the inner work on myself to become more focused on improving my self as a person, man and son. I am grateful for that decision as I have made a spiritual journey and my life is now in a position with purpose and direction more than ever. I am proud of my mother as well, as she has been through several different medical procedures involving her diagnosis with fatty liver, diabetes and heart condition not to mention digestive issues that reached an apex and almost lost her. Unfortunately she’s of a different perspective and has been very depressed with the lifestyle changes and loss of independence. She has done what I never felt she was ever capable of doing by making an attempt on ending her life and was in ICU, but upon regaining consciousness which required dialysis and other heavy procedures, has now passed due to her decision to be off dialysis and be in a do not resesitate declaration by the doctors. I am keeping it together and her and I went to the attorney and had her living will and gave me durable power attorney back in April as she had wanted. She expressed that she did not want to be a vegetable or live with a colostomy bag in the event of something like that being a result of her condition in the future and I was not going to allow that to happen and was honoring her wishes and still am presently with the funeral arrangements. I was only trying to help her recovery so she as a devoted catholic could make a decision that wasn’t the one that she had made. She had recently been going without my knowledge to set up an assisted living facility with what I consider my “spiritual sister “ who has been a very important friend to my mother in the past 10+ years and went to church together. This I felt was her best decision and was very clear in the past that she was able to check some of the places out with me so that she could make the decisions to make that move, but I think she would convince herself that she would be breaking my heart to do so, hence the covert manner and all with the spiritual sister Teresa. I also found out that she’s sold her stocks in Home Depot from her working there for several years before 2000, and apparently gave Teresa a separate power of attorney which she used to get off dialysis ect. So I’m having to do some careful planning on top of everything else that is what I’m trying to honor my mother in death. I want to ask for my proactive step forward to make sure the house and her labor is not going to the wrong hands.. so does the new power of attorney trump the original DPOA and living will naming me mom’s representative and her only child and family in Florida? Sorry so much to list and all, I do appreciate the forum and chance to share and ask questions. Much love and highest regards. 🙏

I've had DPOA in Florida. I've also given DPOA in Florida and rescinded it. This required notifying the person who was my DPOA that I was revoking it, and it had to be in writing, signed by me and possibly notarized. If I hadn't notified them, and if the revocation hadn't been in writing, the revocation wouldn't have been legal and that person would still be POA. I didn't have to give a reason for revoking it. I then appointed a new POA. Hope this helps.

I don't see how your mother could have legally given a "separate" POA to anyone without revoking the one already in existence. If that were legal, people would be running around giving this one POA to sell their car, that one POA to manage their investments and so one. Isn't happening.
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Reply to Fawnby
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First of all, my condolences on the passing of your mother. I feel that she must have come to peace with her own faith and with her own decision to wish to exit a life that had become for her a torment and a fearsome experience. I hope that you will come to peace with her decisions. They are decisions I would make (I am 82) and I have already informed all my family of this. It is too bad mom didn't feel free to discuss this with you.

Power of Attorney (POA) ends with your mother's death.
The second you mother was gone, the POA is over.
Now it is the WILL that is important. If this "new" POA was also listed as executor of the will, then the will is also going to be distributed by her.
If YOU are the executor of the will, then YOU will distribute.

It is now time to speak with the person who was POA.
It is time to get out the WILL or TRUST your mother made.
If she did not have a WILL then you, as her caregiver and only heir, will likely be appointed as the "administrator" (the executor is called administrator when not designated by your mom, but appointed by the court).

Gather together all legal papers.
Find a will.
I would attend a Trust and Estate Attorney to apply for the EIN for the Estate account in which to gather all assets. And to ask any and all questions.

I wish you healing. You say that you used your time to good advantage in improving yourself during your time as caregiver. You were lucky to be able to do that and I hope it serves you well now. The best honor you can do your mother NOW is to understand to your soul that she made her own decisions for her own life and her own body, and that is HER right and HER privilege. And she is at peace.

My very very best out to you.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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So sorry for your loss.

Hoping that Mom had a Will and you are Executor of that Will. Because like said, POAs are null and void upon death. If no Will, you go to Probate and become an Administrator doing everything an Executor would. The only difference, the State steps in to determine who inherits. As an only child, you probably will.

Yes, a new DPOA trumps the previous one. It should say that in the new one. If Mom was of sound mind, she still had the ability to make her own decisions. Some POAs are immediate but even then, if the person is of sound mind they can make their own decisions. Then there are POAs written where a doctor needs to declare the person not able to handle there own affairs. Medical is usually done this way, doctor is needed to declare the person incompetent for POA to take over.

So, you can now forget about POAs. If you find out though, that the former POA may have taken advantage of Mom, you can request her records as Executor. All POAs must keep goid records.
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Sounds like mom gave a Durable Health Care POA to ensure her wishes to stop medical treatment was honored.

As Funky Grandma stated, POA dies with the granter. If mom did not have a will or trust and has assets that exceed your states maximum minimum assets to avoid probate, you should get busy on filling the probate and request to be executor and deal with it according to the laws of your state.

So very sorry for your loss. May The Lord give you grieving mercies, strength and comfort during this difficult time.
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MamasBoiRD1221 Aug 21, 2024
Thanks so very much for sharing that. I actually have just been to see the appropriate attorney for probate, since my post more has been revealed in the matter and has to do with my mom’s humble, but Hers nonetheless legacy/estate. I am grateful for the platform and all the help I have received n will continue to check here for additional help as things progress. I am keeping it together and will stay making the moves taking action appropriately. As long as continue to I’m confident all will be well in the end and mom’s wishes will be fulfilled.
I have learned so far that one cannot underestimate or fully believe someone who seemingly has always had genuine intentions through out the years to be valued by close family like a mother. I’m grateful that I can do the necessary to help correct things before they get worse but it definitely could have been too late and was kinda beaten myself up for me not knowing sooner. But that energy is better directed towards my focus on the solution now. God Bless and keep alert and sharp Youz Guys 😉
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In the US, yes a newer version that was executed properly and when the principal had "capacity" would supercede a prior one. But every state may have different rules, and this is a global forum.

I'm not sure about the "as well as" that MargaretMcKen mentioned, and that would be terribly confusing so you may wish to ask an elder law attorney if this is even possible. FYI a PoA is NOT obligated to show the documents to anyone but a judge, not even a family member or prior PoA. So if Sister Teresa won't show hers to you...then you may have to go through an attorney to write her a letter telling her to show the documents or you will go through the courts to make her show them. Sometimes a person will say they have PoA when they don't. Your Mom should have an original copy of the new document. Hopefully she will show it to you if you ask.

It's possible your Mother made a new PoA because she has memory issues or paranoia, which come with dementia. Has she recently had a cognitive/memory test by her primary doctor? This would be important to know, and do.
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funkygrandma59 Aug 19, 2024
Geaton his mother has already died, which makes his question about POA's mute now.
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Once the person dies who you were listed POA over, the POA's are null and void, and a mute point now.
All that matters now is who if anyone is listed as executor over your moms will, as her will should lay out who gets what.
As always when you have legal questions they should be addressed with an attorney.
I'm sorry for the loss of your mother.
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Usually when a new POA is executed, the previous one will be superseded and no longer effective. However the terms of the new one could be that it is ‘as well as’ rather than ‘instead of’. You would need to see both documents, and get legal advice on them if they are not completely clear.

Your post is quite difficult to be understand, for example that M will “set up an assisted living facility” with another person. Surely you don’t mean that they will set up a business of running an AL? Getting behind the ‘covert manner’ is hard for you, and even harder for us to guess from the outside.

The best thing to do here would probably be for you and M (and possibly ‘Sister Teresa’ too) to go with the documents to an elder care lawyer to explain what you all want now and how it squares with what you have actually got. The advantage of going with Sister Teresa is that she will have to ‘come clean’ about what she wants. Perhaps two meetings – you and M first, then the three of you.

I hear you saying that M is a ‘devoted catholic’, but the Bible itself doesn’t contain all the ‘rules’ laid down by many Popes over the last 2000 years. If you can, focus on what M really wants. Yours, Margaret
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MargaretMcKen Aug 19, 2024
Whoops, I really did find the post difficult to understand, I didn't realise that M had already died.
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