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Oh what a good thread. I absolutely DO have cameras in my home and its for my Moms safety, suggested by our accountant who is a Trustee for several families who have caught bad actions of caretakers who have had background checks, etc. I have seen my caretakers leave my mom alone in a room and go in another room and text their friends for 20 minutes, spend 7 minutes in the bathoom with her saying they showered her, and then on their phones again as she has coffee with no breakfast. I do Not have a camera in the bathroom for everyone's privacy, but I have heard her scream in there from the kitchen camera. Cameras, Nanny Cam's are for the safety of children and the elderly. As far as siblings, if they dont like it, they can take her out , or they shouldnt be saying anything wrong but they do. My sister called my Mom a Bitch behind her back one day and my camera caught it, this is the wonderful nurse sibling who just loves mom so much that she visits her 3-4 times a year. One time she was asking my mother why she didnt give her any money! yes, we have the right , and we earn the right as caretakers, its our responsibility and I hope if I am ever alone with a caretaker when I am old, my family has a camera on us also. Whats the problem here, no one should have any worries unless they are saying the wrong things. Maybe a legal expert should chime in here.
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Seriously, in my situation, from time to time I've thought of cameras to help protect me from false accusations.
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the whole thing with the mail is a completely different story, could be it's just more convienient but it is absolutely wrong. As POA, Yes, he can sign for her mail WITH HIS SIGNATURE and "POA" after it. but no one can sign any one else's name to any thing.
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Ted, I'm glad to see you give your Mom privacy but stay in hearing distance. I just lost my mom 90 on Friday. She was in an assisted living and then a nursing home on morphine within a week. We knew she was terminal but never expected the quick demise. The nannycam could be there in place for the strangers who take care of her. Is it visible to you (I would think not). Maybe you could take your Mom into another room.

With all that I've been through the last few weeks (with five siblings) I can tell you that the best thing is to get along, it's hard to have someone else in charge but when it comes right down to it, I'm sorry to say you'll be relieved of the responsibility. My mom gave control to my two younger sisters and it didn't sit right with my eldest, causing all sorts of conflicts and unnecessary stress for me since I was then the go between. I needed my sanity and absolutely refused to do this. Talk to your brother and maybe he'll agree to let you have more privacy with your Mom. Good luck and God Bless.
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NannyCams, or Grannycams are fairly common and In the right situation, I believe, are a good idea.
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I am so sorry I think this is horrible. Who is filming, is it a security camera. Stinks but you may have to take legal actions. Do you have a copy of the POA? The housekeeper shouldn't be signing anything, talk to the postmaster and ask them. Is your Mom alert enough to sign for her own mail, I think you can send a restricted registered mail where no one else but her can sign, and if you recognize her signature you can make a compliant there. I think it's illegal to mess with someone else's mail. If she's unable to do this, then the POA kicks in but I definitely think filming isn't included.
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I'll fully admit that when my mom has visitors, I keep a very close watch on things. I don't record, although I have considered it, but i do go so far as sitting close enough to hear what is being said even as her CNA bathes her. That being said, I also make sure that when the nurse or doctor or home health Social Worker are here, I make a point of leaving the room and giving them time and privacy to discuss any problems mom might want to discuss about anything, including me.
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i do agree that you have every right to your privacy when spending time with your mom, Absolutely.
But as her POA and Primary Caregiver, your brother has a legal and moral obligation to protect her from anyone, and since she has 24 hr caregivers coming in, I don't see why or how anyone could argue with 24 hr monitoring.
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I can appreciate your thought. You as the actual caregiver and the experience with your sister are different from my issue. I question both the legal and moral issue of recording my visit with my mother. I contend that a son or daughter, whoever, has the right to expect privacy when visiting with the parent in the parent's bedroom. My brother has the POA and it is he who has likely been less than right in his acquisition of my mother's assets. He has the power, I do not. I am but a visitor whose visit with his mother was recorded without permission. His actions seem to be out of his desire to control. I can't believe that a POA gives that right. I guess intent is critical. But, doesn't the elder have some right or dignity. At the very least, my brother and others unknown should not have a film of my mother without clothing.
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I'm not an attorney, but that just doesn't sound legitimate! If you go back to visit I would ask that it be turned off! He may have it on to be sure the caregivers are not ripping your mother off or hurting her! Otherwise I would have to believe he is very paranoid & controlling! He would have no excuse to film you on your visit, but he might say that he had it on because of strangers he has in and out of the home & forgot to turn it off! What did he say was his reason? M from Illinois
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POA or not--to my way of thinking this sounds very sick, what your brother is doing, unless these are survelence cameras to see how the caregivers are acting??--Your Mom deserves privacy and respect...If this were me I would report this incodent to an eldercare organization, or even better to the Alzheimer's Association-as they have a legal department and can probably point you in the right direction. The helpline # is (800) 272-3900.
As for the housekeep signing for your Mom's restricted mail--I am not sure if that is legal-your postal department would know-as well as the legal department of the Alz Assoc.
Best to you in finding your answers.
Hap
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I'd be curious to know the legalities of that. As sole caregiver and POA for my mom, and with knowledge that my sibling has misused her authority as executrix of my dad's estate, I would be inclined to record any visits that my sibling made with mom for both mom's protection and mine, unfortunately she doesn't visit mom, so it's a mute point for me.
However, I certainly understand and PRAISE your brother's decision to record your mom under 24 hr paid caregiver's care.
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