Mom is 85 years old, she was in the hospital for 11 days, I rescued her and brought her with me. She is getting better, but my blood pressure has gone up, my life has been given fullen to this woman. She feels I owe her for years ago, I am constantly getting her back to health, I am tired. I can't do it anymore.
not match the question asked. Maybe the manager
needs to see if things are not going haywire.
Sounds like you're fried. Wish your profile specified your Mom's medical conditions so we can all give you useful tips and fuel your hopes things will get better. Whatever the case may be, she must start taking responsibility for her own health. Make a list of the things she can -- & will!! -- do for herself, and see if you can expand the current support network.
I have enabled her to get this way. It's my own fault. I would like to have just one month without hearing her voice or seeing her and that may sound terrible to those of you who have lost your mothers. I'm sorry. I'm saturated with her, with her constant advice, her constant instructions about everything. Her stories .. over and over and over ....
I'm just tired. I want energy. I want to travel. I want to do some things I want to do.
Once she was there, though, I was able to sleep all night, getting my rest and functioning much better than when she was here 24/7. I was able to be much more patient and loving with her, and supportive of her needs, because my needs were being met. I visit her at least 3 times a week and have a smile on my face the whole time. She is glad to see me and we do fun things. I don't have to be nagging her to brush her teeth, take a bath, eat her food, etc.
I'd be of no use to her if I weren't strong both mentally and physically. Her social security and pension are enough to pay the AL monthly expenses. She has her own privacy, with assistance for bathing, dressing, and medications on site. Plus, there are activities every day. She tells me how wonderful the staff is. They think she's adorable. And she is very sweet to them.
I know that many caregivers swear that they will never put their parent or spouse in "one of those places." But really, if you, the caregiver are stressed and sad and unwell, you might want to explore your options. The stimulation, attention, and interaction with residents and staff at a facility can work wonders for a lonely elderly person.
My sister has offered to help her move, get her set up in an apartment or AL - and my Mom has the funds for it -- and I'm just going to have to DO it. I've been thinking of selling my home just to get her out of it. But it's my home and I like it here, with the wild critters, the beautiful lake behind my house ... and my husband and I worked so hard to pay for it.
I so wish I could get her to move and go visit HER, for a change. Heck, I might even go into her kitchen, make a huge mess -- then leave. :)
My sister says our Mom is afraid of dying and clings to me as a life-source, thinking I can keep her alive. I think she's right. I do know she's sucking the life out of ME.
One of these nights I am just going to pack up a few things and leave for a few days. Then others will be forced to step in. Talking to them does no good as they are indifferent to the situation and feel Mom should be in assisted living (they are right) or senior housing (they are right) but they don't have to listen to her cry when I suggest it. So they say I am bringing this situation on myself.