My brother (who has not helped in any way with my Mom who has Alzheimer's) is now alleging Elder Abuse. Last year, because of the fact he was having horrible fights with our Mom (and refused to move out), she filed a Temporary Restraining Order against him. I don't recall all the circumstances, but he ended up leaving, and I (stupidly) suggested to my Mom that she drop the TRO.
In February, she agreed to let him stay for a short time (without telling me). he barely, if at all, worked. He would lock himself in the office and sleep all day. I noticed he always semed to have money, but he wasnt working. So I became suspicious. One day, i was using the house computer and his email popped up. Because I suspected him of taking money from our Mom, i went in it to see if I could find any information re the items he sold. I have suspected for awhile that he had lied to our Mom, by telling he he sold things for less, and pocketing the difference. Long story short, he found out, exploded and pushed me. I fell down, hit my head, resulting in a concussion. Once I was able to drive, I filed the Temporary Restraining Order. and he was removed from the house. In retaliation, he has alleged Elder Abuse to Adult Protective Services, and now to the Court. How do I prove that he is being retaliatory?
I only found out last year when I found this site in June, the importance of keeping receipts. When father got a stroke and bedridden 2 years ago, I was NOT keeping any receipts! I only started saving it this year. When I read stories like yours about being accused of financial elder abuse - it scares me. So, now, I keep almost every receipts. All of his online orders, I now have a file of it in my email.
I'm sorry for what you're going thru. The only way you can win this is if you have documentation from as much people as you can. Friends, family, neighbors, medical institution, etc....
Have you gone to the police and filed a report of your brother pushing you? Are you able to take photo of any of the abuse? If you report it, when he hurts you again, it will be documented that he was violent to you before. If you must go back home, first stop by the police station, tell them you want to place a report on him and why. That you must go back home per APS but you also want to protect yourself. I hope the police will be more understanding. If they ask if you want to press charges, say yes or no. One of my siblings did this with a woman who was harrassing him. He placed a report on her violence (tried to break into the house) but would not press charges. She never came back...
Between your journal and the housekeeper's information I hope you'll be exonerated. Maybe I'm naive but I think it'll all turn out ok because you haven't done anything wrong. If your brother is interviewed by APS (and I would think he would be since he's the one who started all of this) I would think that they will be able to determine that he's unstable and vindictive. And if, at any time, you can get him in trouble for filing a false claim I say do it! And keep that TRO current. Good riddance to bad rubbish!
If you don't understand my experience or feel compassion of the situation, I suggest you find someone else to judge. Thanks.
i cant think of overeacting without recalling marge simpson accusing homer of overeacting. in turn homer accused her of UNDEReacting.
my point? i dont have a point, dont need one.
Perhaps sitting down and writing out an account of everything that has happened. No emotion, no opinions, just fact. Make several copies.
Has APS contacted you? In person? By letter? Phone? You're just going to have to calmly and rationally explain the entire situation to them. Since you have not, in fact, abused your mom then there's nothing for APS to discover. An old classmate of mine used to work for Child Protective Services and he told me that people used the agency to get back at other people all the time and they would discover it in the course of an investigation. If there's been no abuse there's no chance of any proof of abuse being discovered. Unfortunately, your mom's input can't be considered because of the Alzheimer's but I would imagine this isn't the first time a false allegation has been made. Dysfunctional families, siblings fighting over inheritance, etc. I'm sure it happens frequently. It must be very stressful for you just the same and you must be terrified of your caregiving being put under a microscope but you've done nothing wrong. Your brother is a scumbag (sorry). They'll talk to him as well and I'm sure it will all work out ok.
Keep your brother as far away from you and your mom as you can. Is the TRO still in effect? Your brother is a sick and pathetic person and I'm personally offended that he would go out of his way to put you through this. Your life is difficult enough, I'm sure.
Hang in there, honey. Be as cooperative as you possibly can with APS and I would be willing to bet that this will blow over eventually. You're doing the noble thing by caring for your mom and your brother sounds like a total loser.