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Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.

The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"

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Of course Mom said she doesn't want me to get covid, because of she gets really sick I won't be able to help her. 😂 Got love the love, we all get back from are loved ones.

Anyways I told her if I do or don't get it, it won't matter, she is still going to need more help, with or without me.
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🥰 today’s words of wisdom:

“You can’t build with someone who isn’t trying to help you carry the bricks.”
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Older brother, was trying to get me to have a better relationship with younger brother, last night.

I told him bottom line, YB has no respect for me and I have no interest in having a relationship with someone that has no respect for me and wants to be glorified.

OB and me are so different in many ways, but we always respect each other.

He understood it, and said yeah he he acts, looks, stands, just like are father. I felt validated and understood. Which is nice!
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Blikbob, I have to admit I'm guilty of that a bit too. I keep getting texts, from the opposite team I'm on , asking for money.

They don't stop. I block them, I ignore them, I say please stop, and then resorted to saying not nice things. 😆, but nothing stops them, from texting me .

It's almost over! Elections are coming quick. And hopefully tensions will relax.
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I have a twofer tonight.

Mom wanted me to write down some info big enough for her to read on a piece of notebook paper when she calls one agency regarding instructions for lining up a RMD. I do so and I hand it to her. She's looking at it and, her being the creative one, expressed some criticism over me not staying in-between lines and the info taking up more than half of the page. Chances are, she would've been critical had I written everything on individual lines. It was either write big, covering two lines, or only cover half the page. She wasn't getting both. I mean, she wanted the info for her cheat sheet big enough for her to read and I did what she asked of me.

A little later, she tended to a form she got in the mail from our congressman asking for a political donation. She wrote on the form and told him to ask a politician that shall not be named for money instead of her. She said she did it over disagreement over a piece of legislation. I thought it was a classless move and like with a couple of other forms asking for donations she wrote snarky remarks on of late, I did what should've been done the moment we got done looking through the mail the other day and threw it in the trash. I mean, they were gonna get thrown away once they arrived at their campaign locations anyway. And I'm not telling her I threw those things away. She told me she was expressing her opinion and I almost wanted to openly tell her to do it in a way that wasn't classless. There are far, far worser cases of classlessness out there, but still.

She got semi-emotional and told me "I don't get in your business." And I thought to myself "yeah, and you like to drag me into YOUR business and turn YOUR problems into MY problems. Plus, she was talking about some political posts I liked and commented on on FB from long-time friends of hers while we were talking not too long ago, disagreeing with the posts.

Can you say hypocrite?
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Here's toxic advice about living with a hoarder from a hoarder.

"Just let her do it, let her be happy shopping and pay the credit bill, live in a hoarding house. You only live once."

I actually read this one today.
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🥰 today’s words of wisdom against toxic/dysfunctional people:

🙂 🙂 "I envy all the people who have never met you."
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When you leave the “wrong people” behind, the right things start happening.
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…Sometimes “gosh darn” and “meanie head” just don’t cut it.
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today’s words of wisdom
(i gotta apply that to myself, too)

🥰 “If you want to fly, give up everything that weighs you down.”
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One symptom of narcolepsy is insomnia.

I wear my smartwatch almost every night. I added up the nights on 
which I slept for 6 hours or more from Jan 1 until yesterday. The 
results were that I only slept an average of 6.85 hours on 29 of 
those days which I slept for at least 6 hours over the past almost 9 months. 

I'm sending this to my neurologist, my PC who I see tomorrow and maybe my
endocrinologist.
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I'm so sorry Yoda!! 😞 Best of luck get that all figured out.
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Anxietynacy,

I couldn't press click due to the subject. I am very sorry that you are having to learn about that subject. If you talk with those who work in that area, they will tell you that the statistics are way off. A good book on this subject without having to go into as much detail as it sounds you have heard is The Body Keeps Score.

To keep from getting on a roll with this subject, I'll close with this. Such is worse in a single-parent situation, particularly with an only child of the opposite sex. If I say anymore, it will become mount everast.

Goodbye, I have to call a guardianship lawyer concerning my wife who has suddenly gotten into what I think is manic spending beyond reason which her sister saw evidence of last week and I've shared with her therapist who she sees tomorrow. I've tried talking with her about this as has her sister, but no luck. It is a very sad day, but why people set up medical and durable POAs. Sufficient to say, but the credit card debt is about to exceed $9,000 which it will take her inheritance money to pay for which means less money for staying in a continuing care place which her sister and us will soon be looking over. This is a sad day.
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Speaking of disfuctional families, I've been watching the show , Monsters, about the Mendenze trial and family,
On Netflix.

It is very disturbing to watch, definitely not for everyone. I've never heard sexual abuse, explained in such detail and what it does to a childs brain.

I won't say I like the show but it is educational, I guess.
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toxic/dysfunctional people:

“Fine, we’ll compromise.
I’ll get my way & you’ll find a way to be OK with that.”
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bundleofjoy,

I have shared two of your jokes on a childhood trauma page because they can appreciate them as well.

I shared,

"I saw a store that has a sign that reads
"We treat you like family!"

Yup,
NOT going in there."

and

"Monsters are real
and they look like people...
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Anxietynacy,

I suspect so also. I will tell them.
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🙂 🙂 
Anything that costs you your peace
is too expensive.
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Monsters are real
and they look like people...
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😇😇😇
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is
understanding the other person is a complete idiot.
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I saw a store that has a sign that reads
"We treat you like family!"

Yup,
NOT going in there.
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Yoda, I would suspect yes, but I have no clue. But I'm thinking they have to prevent hoarding, because of fire prevention, and critters.

Im wondering if in there contract it says something
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I am asking this for a friend.

Can someone be thrown out of assisted living if they constantly live in clutter which they keep increasing?
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Hothouse - that's great. So happy for you. I felt such a burden lifted when the estate business was over and I could cut contact with my sis. Never felt so safe in my life!!! It was wonderful.

scampie (((((hugs))))

bundle - good ones
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Oh house flower, I can't wait for that day!!!


I'm glad things are wrapping up for you.
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Closing on my parents house is next week. Can’t wait to close the book on this situation. Still have dad in NH but at least the estate is done because it was all in my mothers name. Medicaid will take its due and I won’t need to have my siblings in my life anymore. It’s sad to write something as miserable as this but as my mother would famously say “It is what it is. “
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🤮 I try to wear my angel wings every day.
But sometimes I’d like to take them off and beat somebody with them.
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🤷‍♀️ I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life and the writers are just making ridiculous stuff happen to keep it interesting.
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🙄 Have you ever just sat and thought…
I’ve been through a lot of stuff…
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Scampi, I'm so sorry about your brother.
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