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Oh no, that is how sibling rivalry starts, That is WAY not fair. Remember that. Totally not fair to you, nasty parent mind game. And he may or may NOT even know he is doing it, but it still hurts!
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I was actually keeping track for awhile of how often my sister or brother called or stopped by to see my dad just to prove to myself that what I saw was the real thing. I wasn't wrong - maybe once a week, usually only if I asked for help with something. Otherwise, it's out of sight, out of mind. I, too, am so disappointed in them and their selfishness.
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I love when my dad tells me how glad he is my sister has a chance to get away and relax because she works so hard. But if I go away, always making sure someone is here to take care of him, he is angry and nasty to me for a week afterwards. Guess I must be sitting around eating bon-bons all day, every day. Wonder why I'm so tired????
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rip's right about that. More control if you are doing it yourself, especially when others show they are not to be depended on...still, just tacky. They don't have to give up their precious lives but a little help? A day a week too much?
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Rip here ...
I have 3 older brothers that don't do a whip! Fork out money now & then but don't understand the daily drama.
Dad doesn't have much to say to them. Disappointed,

You guys having sibling refuse you really stinks.
I don't think I have ever regretted being solo. If things need to be done, I can do it.
I miss having support .. but if the support comes with whining & stupid excuses ... Dad & I will manage ourselves.
sorry state to be in
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THAT IS OBSCENE! And unfortunately too too common to the way people think today. Self-centered no concern for others. I know people should take time for themselves but good grief that is pathetic! Football season. How is he for Baseball season is he willing to do stuff in the spring and summer????
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Pirate, if you ever regret being solo, just think if you had a brother who was exactly like your dad and/or a sister who is exactly like your mom. My sister is mom's clone, only not mean but just as selfish. I'd guess that 75% of my life having a sister has been a waste. We had some good times along the way but far too many awful times. Couple that with her refusal to help with our mom, well you get the picture.
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Julie your brother is an A$$! I wonder if your mom said to him as a baby...hang on...can't change your diappy's right now...I am watching my favorite soaps for the next 2 hours.
I have no family in regards to as brother or sister so I am solo.
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My brother says, " I can't come over there, I'm to busy". He collects unemployment and has no kids to take his time.
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NO ...!!!
What an insult!
I know what y'all mean about wondering if we are related.
It is up to the youngest daughter to provide everything!
What is with family? I am so disappointed with mine but mine have "busy Lives".
So do I ... caring for our father & all it entails.
A football game?

Glad you're here ... at least you might find some sanity!
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Someone told me this today...
"One mother can take care of ten children but ten children can't take care of one mother."

God thought so much of our parents that He actually made it one of His commandments to take care of them. I can see St. Peter shaking his head at my brother once he arrives at the Pearly Gates...
"Hmmmm....Seems you chose watching football over taking care of your elderly mother...Sorry...Woosh! NEXT!"
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the fingerpointing never ends, and i remember my grandmother they tossed her around among her 7 children like pingpong balls. In fact, during her last few months on earth, about 4 maggots were found on her bedsore because she's not regularly cleaned and moved on her bed from left to right... I can tell personally it's easier to care for real babies, than parents who've become "babies" again
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Just like you guys, my mom's 6 sisters and 1 brother have all sorts of dumb reasons... they in fact pointed to my cousins, nieces and nephews to do the sitting on their behalf. Why on earth you pass on to my younger nieces, nephews and cousins the occasional burden of caregiving for their own eldest sister? They think these younger group of relatives have beside blood ties to my mom, are mentally and physically sufficient to understand my mom who is 78 years old, while my younger cousins nieces nephews are only in their mid 20s or younger and are also going to school.
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Those excuses from the real family really hurt! I have never been paid for eldercare. Although I do have a degree in Health Science. I have assisted a lonely elderly neighbor or in-law, and noticed the heirs not responding to any of their needs. I will help to the legal extent that I can. Then when they finally pass on, I do not even get invited to the funeral.
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denise,
I had to practically extract that answer. My sister never does anything she doesn't want to do or thinks is unpleasant. She is very selfish. There are times I wonder how we can be related. But then I remember she and mom are like two peas in a pod. Mom is selfish and mean about it, sis is selfish but very quiet about it. They make me sick.
I'm sorry your sisters are ignoring the fact that you are caring for their mom. I wish I had an answer or solution for you but I don't. It's a real mystery to me how one sibling always gets the shaft.
Are your kids going to step up when it's your turn to require care?
Julie, I'm stunned at your brother's email. Talk about insensitive and selfish. Sure hope your mom doesn't get real sick during football season. He'll have a tough decision to make!
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Hey Always, at least your sister said no, mine wont even retun the calls regarding OUR mother!! This is so sad, Im 55 and right now Im trying to come up with a plan for myself so I wont be treated like my sisters are treating my mother or others are treating the elderly.
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The only answer I ever got from my sister was "I don't want to". Dumb or sad or whatever, that was her answer. She didn't want to and she didn't . . . period!
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Tell your brother that mom will buy the pizza, so he can come over and watch football with her.
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