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My mother is going to be ONE HUNDRED YEARS OLD. I fully expect she will live a few more years, as she has good health. Mercifully, she lives at assisted living.
I have boundaries in place - thank goodness.

I understand your feelings. Therefore, I won't say, "Congratulations!"
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Thank you. Yes I'm aware.
I can tolerate her in measured doses.
Even that is draining.

She was in the hospital briefly in December, and I went out in 16 degree weather to see her - I'd no more than sat down than she told me my hair looked terrible. (No, she isn't diagnosed with dementia).

I guess some people subsist on pure nastiness and spite.
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I was long-distance PoA for my Aunt who lived to 105 in her own home with the help of 2 family caregivers. She had all her mind and was doing amazingly well, on her way to her 106th birthday. Even with cholesterol in the high 200's (and not on statins) the only other medication she took was Lumigen for glaucoma. She was mobile with her walker. Did all her financial management. Then, her caregiver noticed she started having symptoms of CHF. Bad enough that she went to the ER. She got 2 meds to control it, but within the week she had a massive stroke where she was paralyzed on her dominant side. I started her hospice at home and she passed 4 days later (on morphine and Ativan).

Just putting it out there that your Mom is in "good health" until she's not. She may begin falling in the facility or develop something else which, at advanced years, can take them very quickly (and we hope it does). Yes, it's a good thing she's in AL and you have boundaries. May you receive peace in your heart on this journey.
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I’m genuinely sorry. If MIL makes it to 100, dh will be 81 and brothers wife 90.
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