I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
(((Hugs)))
I’m just so depressed about it all. I have been walking with a black cloud over my head for the last five years.
Everything just fell apart.
My mother and her nails! I've tried clipping her fingernails and toenails three times and snipped her skin and she bled long all three times. Since she's on a blood thinner and my eyesight is bad, I've quit trying. She got on her facility's bus to go on their supervised trip to the nail salon one time. She liked it. They go monthly. The last time they went, she wouldn't go because she was grouchy or had a stomachache or something. She wants ME to work on her nails every time I visit. I tell her I am not a nail technician and she's just going to have to live with long nails. She gets grumpy. I already help her shower twice a week, I'm not going to file nails. She harps and harps and harps. For hours. "My nails. My nails. But my fingernails. See my nails? My nails are too long. I can't file my nails. You need to do my nails. My nails. My nails."
I'm just so tired and done with the dementia years. Nearing a decade. Caregiving is especially hard for someone who is put off by touching, eye contact, talking about emotions, etc. It's like prison. And YES I know it's hard for the person with dementia. I love it when people remind me to just be empathetic.
I try but hope I will be forgiven if I use the wrong term. If you are not working in the field you can miss the latest version.
I think terminology can become self serving.
My whine - I am just coming out of a couple of weeks of the worse FM flare ups I have had in years. No fun, but getting better now. I overdid it a couple of weeks ago which probably triggered it.
And I have to add grape tomatoes to my list of FODMAPs no-nos. I might get away with a couple of them a day - even maybe 2 in the morning and 2 in the evening. Same with strawberries! At least I can still eat chocolate!!!😊
Regarding the N word, I am shocked to find that ‘modern’ trendies object strongly to ‘Uncle Tom’s Cabin’ - with ‘Uncle Tomism’ a well known insult. In fact:
1) It’s a wonderful book. I am proud to own it.
2) It was a major cause of the US Civil War and the emancipation of Ns.
3) It was common practice at the time to copy speech in spite of the assault on normal spelling. I find Kipling’s ‘Irish’ soldiers hard going and approaching unreadable.
Unless you only want to read 'new' books and talk to people who are up with the newest trends, it's good to have a sense of history.
Unless someone uses a term in a derogatory manner on purpose , I think we need to give people some slack . It is difficult to keep up with all the new terms .
Being understanding towards those innocently using an old term is important as well .
I’m all in favor of new terms when a new medical definition is made (eg for many mental issues), but not when it’s just ‘PC speak’. And then, I never did travel well on ‘nut case’ or ‘loony bin’.
As for caretakers - yeah, I associate that with a person working as a building superintendent or a janitor
We are caregiver's~
And another thing that bothers me is when people say crippled instead of handicapped.
Those are my only 2 whines for today really bugging me.
that's all~
I hope you all are having a good day~
I love living in a place where the temperature is above freezing all the time.
I only had one guy reply back and give me an estimate for snow removal for the season and I said “ No “ because the price was insane .
I could have gone to Florida for 3 months for the price he quoted.
There are no teens anymore that walk around with shovels looking for work anymore the last 25 or 30 years . Hmm , 🤔🤔they are playing video games . And I see their Dads outside with a snowblower .
We never paid any attention to these checks, we just shredded them when we received them. Little did we know this can be a horrendous situation. We noticed this transaction on our credit card activity and promptly reported the fraud. Barclays took the charge off but then it reappeared a few days ago.
We called and Barclays said we have to file a police report and send them the paperwork and they would initiate an investigation.we will be doing this as soon as Barclays supplies us with documentation.
What is particularly awful about this is unlike a credit card which the credit card company institutes all sorts of verifications to activate your cards, these checks just come in the regular mail with no safeguards at all. Someone could have stole it at the post office or some place else and can just forge your name. The credit card company says you are responsible for the charge. I’m not sure even after filling out the police report that we will be successful in proving our case.
Barclays and many other credit card companies are fine with screwing you over because they will get their money or your credit rating will be damaged.
if you do not want to receive convenience checks you need to call your credit card company and demand they not send them anymore.
In our case it was only $100 but it could have been much worse.
I just thought it was important to pass this on.
I selfishly want this to be over because I am tired of going to that godforsaken awful nursing home. And I detest seeing him like this. We would not keep our beloved pets alive if they were existing like this.
My daughter is in NYC with my granddaughter. I told her under no circumstances do I want her to visit. I prefer her last memory of her grandfather is not this. He won’t know she’s there anyway.
The thought this can go on a minimum of least 6 months or more is totally horrifying. I can’t take much more. I just want to scream.
Maybe try going to visit less often? Do less.
You are very smart to have figured out a way for a ten-day vacation.
Now, make it a goal to take more days, while taking back your life, and strengthening yourself. It may take awhile.
You have had a dose of reality, and that is: there is still a life outside of caregiving for you. And you do want that. So don't give up, even though this sounds so very hard on you.
I know it is hard but you have to take care of your health -mental and physical. I'm glad you had a vacation.
Caregiving was a dreadful chore for me and a time of a lot of stress. I was so relieved when mother finally passed. My heart goes out to you. Is there any way you could hire someone to do some of the paper work or other jobs?