We've had a safety frame with elevated seat in my parents' bathroom since I've been here -- almost 7 years. Today Mom took the frame off the toilet and said she doesn't need it. She said it was what was making it harder to go. I told her it helped her get up and down safely. She said without it, she would be able to make her legs stronger. She said they are getting so weak now she can barely stand. I told her it is why the safety frame helps and she flew into a rage that she was NOT going to have the safety frame on the toilet anymore.
I left her alone a minute, then told her what was most likely going to happen if she didn't have the frame on the toilet. I told her that ultimately she was likely to fall and may end up in the hospital. She said she didn't care, and she was not going to put it back on the toilet.
So here we are with her being determined about something that I will worry about. She can't walk without her rollator because her balance is so poor. I see nothing good coming of this. I wish she was easier to care for. It seems like she is constantly coming up with ideas to make things harder.
You can get grab rails that fix to the floor, to one side, which she could use to help steady herself when she gets up. Obviously that's a trade-off too, though, because you have to put it where she can't trip over it ,and she'd also need to bring her walking frame or stick in to the bathroom with her... [groan, head in hands].
With my FIL, the Dr ordered a very fine Rolator for him to use alway, but which sat in his bedroom for a year, only to be used when he "went out", which is rare, and usually only to the Drs. Finally after multiple falls in the house, I had had enough, and insisted we speak with his Dr, and got PT in, to give him repeated lessons on how to use it properly, and every time he walks or stands, and I was very insistent, telling him that when he fell and broke his hip or shoulder, that would be it, and he wouldn't be permitted to come back to our home, as we wouldn't be able to manage him any longer, as we too are having our own back, knee mobility issues! Finally he caved in and uses it, Every time, and the falls have definitely decreased, but he did topple it over on top of himself the other day, grrrr, probably not locking the handle or some such thing.
My FIL is only beginning to show signs of dementia, so I'm sure there are other things that come into play with others and their struggles with their strong willed LO's. It's a battle of wills, as they get so determined to fail! I wonder if we will be like this when we get older?
Hoping she'll start using the frame again. I dread hearing that thump in the night.
I find it interesting Jessie that your Mom is thinking that without the frame she would gain strength in her legs, which is true, but she would need to go to the bathroom probably 25 times a day to get any exercise from doing that.
Try substituting said "exercise" with something else. Like have her sit in a straight back chair and have very light weights around her ankles, having her lift her legs straight out, that works a lot of muscles. Don't know if that would be more or less interesting then standing up from the toilet. You never know.
So hard to watch them doing things you know are not good for them and being helpless to do anything about it.
Please don't worry. It does not accomplish anything. Just be prepared for what you think will happen and go about your day. .