I shouldn't complain..my Mom doesn't have dementia/Alzs, no incontinence.
BUT since it seems since she started living with us last November she seems to have just given up. She was cooking, running errands etc, but now she is too afraid to drive, hardly ever makes her own coffee/breakfast/lunch/dinner. I'm so frustrated because her and I talked about it before having this house built that she would do these things and was excited about it. Now, it seems like I'm her waitress and taxi driver. I really didn't think it was going to be this way, at least not so soon! She convinces herself that she can't do something and is scared of everything it seems..so she doesn't. I am so opposite of her and it's really hard to relate to her. I don't understand it. Some days are better than others but good grief. Like I said, I shouldn't complain but jeez. Thanks for listening...reading.
Don't wait for excuses. Send the right message. You are capable, you did and can do, you are not ready for grave so make the trip there faster than it has to be.
extent they can. I am lucky as my sister and I get along very well, and we are a good team in helping my mother through this most difficult stage of life when sometimes your body and mind betray you and you must depend on others to do for you what you have always done for yourself. I think we need to remember that no matter how young we are now, we will all get there someday, and may depend on others whether family or professionals to help us. I get impatient sometimes with my mother when she seems unreasonable, or I indulge in self pity because I must make my mother first priority over other things in my life, but I try to remember all that she has done for me throughout my life, and although I don't believe that "owing" is the right word, I find I want to in some manner return the loving care she gave to me.
I have suffered from depression and while it is debilitating,sometimes it comes down to not being available.
When my son was little, he refused to tie his shoes, cut his meat at dinner time. He knew how, he just didn't want to do it for himself. I refused to do it him. It may or may not work, but I think the more you do for her, the less she will do for herself and more depression, less self esteem. Unless there is some other physical/mental issue going on with your mother...make yourself not available, leave the house so she has to make her own lunch. Leave a note saying the dishes need to be done and I will be back after I run these errands, I appreciate your help, you are a blessing. Something to that effect.
I don't know how old your mother is, but driving can become scary for the elderly. If she is just being lazy...you would know that better than I would, maybe tell her you need her to take to somewhere because of...any excuse you can come up with. The longer she goes without using these skills, the more dependent she will become.
I don't know your mother's finances, but maybe independent living would be a better solution for her or assisted living.
I really suggest you stop doing for her, and if necessary, tell her you know she can do this for herself.